I never expect much, I really don't, the smallest things make me happy. Because my boy and I are 4200 miles, and 7 hours of time difference away, I don't put undue pressure on him to be available to me at all times, that's just not realistic and doesn't make for a happy, healthy relationship. That being said, we don't talk much over the weekends, even though that's when we have unlimited time. We talk a few hours a day during the week, even though it means he's up til 3AM and work is rough these days (we're co-workers). It usually doesn't bother me too badly, and we don't have any trust issues with each other, we both believe in maintaining as normal life as possible.

But, y'know, it really woulda been nice if he stuck around a little on Valentine's Day. I didn't expect anything, I didn't think I'd receive any big revelations, a simple, free e-card would have thrilled me, even though I figured it'd be non-existent. But maybe, just MAYBE I thought he'd stay home for awhile, not doing work, and simply talk to me. Nope, no such luck. He was there, at our regular 1AM talk time, and we discussed an anti-virus project we're on pretty much the entire time Not even so much as a "Happy Valentine's Day".

OK, I get it. I'm not as important as your friends. I'm not that big of a priority in your life. Understood. Really, though, REALLY?? You couldn't just pretend for one day? WTF, one day you're asking me under your breath when I'm moving there, then the next, you let me know, in no uncertain terms, that I don't really matter, I'm not at all special, and I'll never be as important as your friends.

Sorry, I needed to rant. I've been feeling so let down, and small for the last 24 hours. I wish that, just for once, somebody was crazy smitten for me, and the ball was in my court for a change.

I don't get him, I just don't. I think I'll make it a point to not be around tonight, and take the time to shore up my walls a little. I'm not gonna lose my heart to someone who isn't prepared to lose his in return.