Raine is, as of Friday, now officially my manager Surely, this is the 8th sign of the Apocalypse. I guess the world really will end this year
It hasn't been announced to the company, or the rest of our team yet, but could be as early as tomorrow, definitely this week though.
First and foremost, I'm very, very proud of him. This is a promotion that, even if it doesn't work out, opens a hell of a lot of doors for him, in a country that doesn't have a ton of jobs open at the moment, and almost everyone had a degree; they're disgustingly educated in Finland! No wonder they think Americans are mostly dumbasses.
Anyway, there's just no way that this won't test our relationship at least a little, it'll throw in some challenges for sure. That's not necessarily a bad thing, our relationship hardly ever gets tested, we have a very easy rapport with each other and almost never disagree on anything. I think overcoming some of this will actually be good for us, and I have no doubt we will. Raine would do whatever he has to to make sure the relationship is right, so it will be an adjustment, but not an overwhelming one.
I am a little concerned that the stress and sheer amount of work he'll have will make it hard for him to let that go when he gets home. I want to spend time with my boyfriend, NOT my manager! I don't want our free time, which will probably get compromised some, to be spent talking about nothing but stupid work, it consumes enough of our lives already. He's much more business-like than I am, and more prone to not leaving the job at the door when he leaves. I am worried about that.
This is also putting serious pressure on me to be perfect all of the time, I don't want to put him in any uncomfortable positions, if I can help it. I will absolutely need to put in more off-hours and weekend work That fucking sucks, they take enough of my life as it is.
The worst part of all this is that Raine had to flat out lie to upper management. Raine doesn't lie, so I know this was a hard one for him. He got pulled into out CTO's office and asked the nature of our relationship, but before he answered, was told that the VP of HR was against his promotion if we were in a relationship. I'm not sure if that was on purpose, to give him the chance to make something up. He told them we are good friends, but that's it. That I have friends in Finland I visit from time to time, and when I do, we hang out (this way, if we're ever spotted there, we have an excuse). I don't like this part, I hate lying, but we've kept it a secret for the last three years, we just have to be extra careful now.
I suppose this starts a whole new chapter in our book of life together. Finding another job isn't as easy as it sounds, there simply aren't that many out there, and starting over means almost no vacation time, and I'm not likely to start anywhere with my same salary. I'm going to just relax and see how it works itself out, I guess. I will not let it ruin us though, we're the most important thing to me, other than my daughter. I'll look for another job if I HAVE to, but let's just hope it doesn't come to that. This is a bit scary, but I do well with change and challenges, so I'm optimistic it'll be fine, but I am pretty nervous about the upcoming months.
The lying part sucks but hey, what else can you do? It's so wrong that two people who love each other can't work together. Who the hell came up with that rule???
Have you thought about finding work in Finland?
Sadly, he'll be in Finland and I'll be in the US for some time to come yet. We won't close the distance for a few years at least, I don't think. It's OK though, I'd rather have him in Finland than not at all! I guess I should clarify, my team is global, and Raine will manage us remotely, it's always like that for my team depending on what country the manager is in. I work for a company founded in Finland, which is how I ended up with a crazy Finn as a boyfriend! If I stay with this company, there is a chance that I could transfer at some point, so we'll see. This is all kinda nerve-wracking, but it could be really good in the end (or a spectacular disaster ).