I don't have anywhere else to write this, it's mostly just for me, so I can get some sleep tonight.

An old childhood friend died today. He'd been battling cancer for the last year or so, but still, seeing all the "RIP, Larry" statuses on FB tonight was a shock. Like, WTF, how can he be dead? 43 is way too young to die from cancer, shit, I'll be 43 next month and I still feel like a kid a lot of the time

I went to Catholic school. That means, for the most part, 8 years spent with the same 60-ish kids from the age of 6 until almost 14, in our class. We were a close class, and we were all a big part of each others lives, even long after we graduated. These are the friends you had during the formative years of your life, the ones that leave an impact forever. Larry was a popular kid, and an incredible artist, even then. He was funny, a definite bad boy, and a good guy. He loved music, a true metalhead to the end, too In the later years of school, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, we became close. He lived in the apartment complex across the street from my house, and my best friend at the time had the worst crush on him. Most of the girls did, at one time or another, but we were friends, we hung out often, had the same taste in music, talked a lot, and were pretty tight. Those kind of friendships are so important when you're at the brink of becoming a teenager, and leaving your childhood behind.

Anyway, after graduating from 8th grade, most of us went on to Catholic high school, there were two separate schools, one for boys and one for girls. I didn't really see Larry much after that, and he moved to Philly soon afterwards. In 10th or 11th grade, after I was long gone from my all-girl Catholic high school, I was walking home from my best friends house, and I ran into Larry. He had some weed, so we smoked a few joints and hung out for a couple of hours, before I had to get home. It was great reminiscing, and we talked about how great it was to see each other again. I didn't see him again until I was in my early 20's, in a crowded bar one night. I spotted him and got pretty excited, and ran over to say hello, but he was cold and dismissive. Some girl, his girlfriend, I guess, high-tailed it over and started making out with him. I got the message and walked away, disappointed.

He didn't go to our class's 10 year reunion. I was sorry about that, I really hoped to see him and find out what he'd been up to.
He didn't go to our 25th reunion, or the two after that. For a few years, we organized one every summer, because they were such a blast. He did go two years ago, to the last one we had, his brother had been coming though, because we opened it up to classes that were a couple of years above and below us. I think he talked him into it, finally.

Larry became a phenomenal tattoo artist, one of the best I've seen. He'd lived all over the country in that 25+ years, and just moved back to the area, so he showed up. I was excited to see him, but for whatever reason, we just didn't click very well. I guess life changes people too much sometimes, so we had some awkward conversation a few times that night, though some of it was pretty OK. I sent him some artwork for a tattoo I wanted some time before, he told me he still had my idea and whenever I wanted, he'd do the work. I really wish I would have followed up on that.

Anyway, Larry died today from cancer. I'm incredibly sad about it, though I'm not sure why. It's not like he was really a friend anymore, once school ended, and he wasn't that nice when I saw him, but old memories die hard, I guess. Especially the best memories of happy times, when life was simple and easy. I think it's more because of his age, and how hard it is to face your own mortality, in a way. ( The fucked up part is that I'm having a cigarette while writing this ) He's actually the second from our class to die, the first was a much less popular kid who died in our early 20's from testicular cancer. Fucking cancer.

I think it's a mixture of things making me so sad, it's hard to put it into words. I'll miss the Larry I used to know. FB is blowing up from classmates statuses, I guess I'll need to get the info for the viewing, and make an appearance. His girlfriend also went to school with us, they reconnected during that reunion. She's a sweet girl, always has been, my heart breaks for her. A few days ago, when I guess things were looking bad, she posted her first grade class picture, she and Larry were right next to each other.

Thanks for anyone who listened. I just had to put it somewhere, you know?

In better news, I FINALLY booked my trip to Helsinki!! I had to wait for a bonus check to come through and work out vacation time with the rest of my team. It was a BITCH finding reasonable airfare with only 2.5 weeks notice, let me tell ya! But I did it I get to see my boy soon, for a little more than two weeks, yay!!