So, with the surprise that my SO will be leaving so much sooner (in about 2 weeks, right after my birthday) I've begun really freaking out. I am freaking out about him leaving, our relationship, me being here alone adjusting to it after basically living with him, basically overthinking a bunch of things I can't do anything about. But it also feels like things are getting more tense with him leaving.

I am finally starting to deal with how I feel I guess. I told him I was happy for him and everything when he got the promotion. He expected me to be mad. I wasn't thinking about me at the time, just him, then us. Now that us is figured out I am actually thinking about me. I am happy for him but I'm also sad and a little mad that he is leaving. I don't blame him, just the situation and the timing, it sucks.

Also I am staying here to graduate. And while planning my last semester and everything that is starting to hit me. I am still going to graduate, but I am starting to question if I even like what I am studying and even want to go into the field and career I've been planning. I'm still going to apply to grad school, but I don't even know if I want to go. I am considering just playing the job market, maybe getting my teaching licensure.

I don't know, my SO has already graduated and says this is normal, but when the timing of all of this could not be worse. It's just like it is all hitting me at once.

To top it all off, I have this guy trying to pursue me. He found out my SO was leaving and keeps offering "to keep me company when he leaves" etc. I have to do lab work with this guy and he is helping me with my research. I don't know how much more clear I can make it that I'm not interested.

I don't know. I just don't know. I'm overwhelmed, and have found everyone to be really supportive and understanding here. I'm sure many of you guys would get this.