*Don't open if you don't want to hear about the tragedy in Arkansas*

So at the beginning of this semester I dealt with some health issues, hospitals, multiple doctors, every test you can imagine. It was a big ordeal. I missed a fair amount of class. Only one of my teacher refused to allow me to make up the work I missed, but said there would be plenty of other points in the semester to make up for it.

Then what us southern Americans are calling the snowpockalypse happened. We missed a whole bunch of school days because of it. He ended up cancelling a test and some lab points. I am also in Arkansas in the tornado affected area (I'll get to that in a bit), and so he cancelled the final lab assignment.

So basically what was supposed to be no big deal, is a significantly big deal. I have done the best I can at this point and studied my arse off for the test. I need a C, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. If I don't the only way to fix it would be to cancel my visit in a couple weeks and take a class instead and change my fall schedule. I really need that visit, especially with everything else going on. It's been a month since I've seen him, which I know isn't long, but it has been a crazy time and I just need my man. Otherwise I won't get to see him till August, which feels like forever for me. And he isn't so good at LDRs so I worry if we can wait that long. We just have to make it till I graduate in Decemember.

I'm am seriously hoping I did enough to pull out a C in Ecology. I really need that C in ecology.

Now onto the tragedy. Basically I know multiple people that passed in the storm. I know two that are still missing. One of those lost is a child I use to babysit that got ripped from her dad's arms. It's really bad here. The tornado basically danced all around me skipping the town I am in. I've seen all the damage, and I'm telling you guys, if you've seen pictures you haven't seen anything. It's a devastation. I am living in a nationally declared disaster zone. While everyone is rallying, we are all still broken in a way.

The towns that got hit were very small, but hugely effected. Neighborhoods and business are just gone. These people lost their livelihood. Mayflower had another gas leak because of it. So many people and children, just gone. Considering this is the third time in five years Vilonia's gotten hit, I feel someone should be doing something to help protect these people (who are often military).

I had to take finals today. I was crying before and during both of them. It is so bad here, that no one says anything because they just know. They just know that I got a call telling me another missing person I know is dead. I mean despite that I made an 82 on one of my finals, which is pretty amazing so I have a B in that class. But I have no idea how I did in the class that really matters.

I just need something to hold me down right now when it feels like I'm being blown away. I just need to see him in this time of uncertainty.