I'm watching the sky and wondering where he goes: he is flying somewhere in the world tonight, a thousand miles away. I wonder if he thinks about me as he crosses the ocean that separates us. Does it look so endless from high above? Does he know I'm watching the same stars, hoping he gets home safe?

I lay sleepless in my bed, counting the days that he has been gone lately. Thinking about the Christmas and New Year's eve that he spent alone in hotels. Thinking about all the times I've told him how much I love him when he has waved me goodbye in uniform through the screen. The world waking up, the morning sun greeting him above the clouds, the magic of the Eternal City, the beauty of New Zealand - all the places he gets to see.

I think about people telling me how lucky I am. I wonder if they know how it feels: to lay in bed alone, waiting for him to tell me he has landed safely. Waiting for him to call just to hear the connection is not working. The nights alone that break me into pieces.

And yet, as I drift away, I feel grateful for where we are now and where we will be: for all the places we get to see together, the adventures still ahead.