I am leaving for Portland, OR hopefully, weather permitting in a day. Supposed to snow in Portland Sunday which is when I'm due to arrive. While that's heavy on my mind something else is bothering me more.

Recently Wes and I have been getting into heated discussions regarding our differences in family and communication in general. I mentioned i'm leaving for Portland Sunday, he hasn't told his parents yet. Parents he lives with. When I ask him why he says he didn't think they needed to know. We got into a debate as to why its important that his parents like me. I explained I find our future to be more difficult if his parents don't think favorably of me. Not even favorably, I kind of just want the opportunity to get to know them and vise versa. He said this time, he wants to spend the time with me and doesn't want to share me by having to make me have dinner with all sorts of people. OK fine, but it bothers me that he can't even begin to understand why its important to have a good relationship with potential future in-laws. I let that slide ok, we have very very different family dynamics. I'm super close with my parents and he isn't. I feel like close or not parents have a way of interfering in a relationship if they don't approve of it.

Tonites argument is one we've had 1000 times and i'm just tired of having it. No matter how much I try to turn off the dissapointment I feel when he doesn't let me know he's going to be out all night, I can't do it. I literally fight myself, tell myself to forget it but that other part is just hurt because he doesn't think he needs to tell me. When I confront him with this issue he accused me of accusing him of cheating on me. Simply bc i want a heads up when he's going out with his friend and won't be home til 4am EST. He doesn't even have to text me when he's out. I just want a heads up before he leaves. He says well i don't have Wi-Fi everywhere, but today for example he was right by his job when he decided to go out. I know they have Wi-Fi bc he texts me from there all the time. The worst part is he doesn't seem to understand I just want to know so i can feel like part of his life and so I can just go to bed and not wait up for him if he's coming home so late. I always tell him where i'm going, who i'm going to be with. I just feel like its something you would do with a CD relationship why not LDR.

I just don't like that he isn't trying to see my side of any of these issues. Its like because its my opinion it doesn't matter or count. I should see it his way or its wrong. I don't like this feeling. It leaves me with doubts, doubts about how he feels about me, doubts about our future, serious doubts as to whether he's the one for me. I really hope that this week goes well, I don't know where to go from here if it doesn't.