Charles is sleeping, and I really should be there next to him but I can't. I'm too upset with a growing problem with him, or maybe its just an issue with me. I know i've talked to a couple of people in the LFAD chat room about certain issues he has in the bedroom. I can accept those, it may not be something he can change. But, there is something else....
My Bf is amazing, sweet and lovey and cuddly and all those mushy qualities that any girl would want in her man. He tells me he loves me lots of times a day, tells me i'm sexy, that he wants to keep me, etc. And he has me for the most part believing these things. I guess the reason I'm upset tonight is because he will tell me i'm sexy but when I try to get him turned on for sex he shoots me down bc hes "tired". Its happened a few times now and when it happens I just roll over and cry myself to sleep feeling utterly defeated. Not only that feeling completely unattractive. How can I feel attractive when I can't wake my boyfriend enough to have sex with me. Its not like I only pounce on him when he's falling asleep either, middle of the day, or watching a movie at night I get the same answer.
Am I even the woman in this relationship? Isn't i'm tired, I have a headache the girls excuse for not wanting to have sex? I know i've used those excuses myself before on other bfs, but never on him. I seem to push myself to give in to him when he wants sex bc its the only time i'm going to get it. Tonight he said, yea but we cuddle more then most couples, and I replied yea we do but we have less sex then most couples. Then I cried and got out of bed because I was just upset bc he shot me down again. I really don't know what else to do. i've tried everything, hj, bj, mf,,,,Its like OMG JUST STFU AND FUCK ME ALREADY! i'm just so frustrated and I have no issue with self gratification but i'm tired of having sex on his terms. I'm having like a rape scene play out in my head...wit my bf being the victim. Be it, that would never work bc he can overpower me far too easily. UGH!
/END RANT
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rubydissolution started a blog post Should be sleeping, blogging instead...%$%@%^Should be sleeping, blogging instead...%$%@%^
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#1mllebamako commentedEditing a commentThis must be really frustrating for you. My SO and I are the opposite, I have a very very low sex drive and he wants it multiple times a day. Have you talked to him about it? Once my SO told me how rejected he was feeling, I started to initiate it a few times a week, even if I don't really want it.
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#2sewbama commentedEditing a commentIf he is regularly making you cry and feel worthless and unattractive, as you say, and he knows about it, either he needs to be doing something about it, or you need to be leaving. I understand when there are problems, but if he's making no effort to explain himself, have sex even if he isn't really in the mood, or fix whatever problem is causing this, he's showing that he doesn't care much about you or your feelings. I've felt similar before, with my man rejecting me for about a month. He was stressed and depressed with work, and just didn't want to. But when he realized how much it was upsetting me, he took steps to fix the problems and we got back to normal. It's understandable to have different sex drives, but constantly rejecting you and causing you to feel this way is unacceptable. I feel really bad for you, this is an awful situation. I hope you guys can work through it. But that requires effort on both parts, and to this point, it seems it's been all unfairly on you.
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#3rubydissolution commentedEditing a commentI talked to him about it this morning. He said he was sorry, and that it really has nothing to do with me. That his lack of interest in sex atm is bc its peak season at UPS and hes exhausted. Peak season at UPS means he has to gets up for work at 1:45am. He doesn't get more then 3 hours of sleep a night, then comes home naps for an hour n a half then goes to his next job. He made an extra effort tonight when we hung out to plan for sexy time with me bc he knew how upset I was the night before. He did this even after cutting the tip of his finger off at work today, so I think my point came across. Thx for the advice guys. =)
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