Well I do!

I actually read through my blogs and found one similar to the topic I'm going to vent about , but it was slightly different. That blog was more relevant to the Christmas madness lol. This is just a regular week kinda rant.

I guess I'll start with Charles quit his second job. Meaning he just works 4am-8/9am in the morning and that's it. I figured with this he would be home more and we could spend more time together. I was wrong. We are still having this issue. This week I'll have spent less then 24 hrs with him. The reason? He is spending half his week with his friend John, or his group of friends (friday) and going with more friends to another HvZ event Saturday. It's like I'm competing with his friends.

I really figured as you got older, the less time you had for hanging out with friends and such. And not because you don't want to, but because schedules are so hard to find free time in. This hasn't happened with him and at least his friend John. Maybe i'm a little jealous he gets to see his friends so often, but honestly it's more that I'm jealous that they see him more than I do. I held this in for a long time and it finally came to a head last night when I couldn't take that I wasn't going to see him at all Thursday because instead of coming home to see more before I work the entire night, he was going to John's.

I debated for about 10 minutes about whether I should say something...making him choose between him and his friends doesn't seem like something I should ever do. Finally I did go into the bedroom and say that I felt like I was in a competition for his time with his friends. That he constantly chooses to see them instead of me and it was weighing on me. He said he didn't know what to do about it...I felt like the answer was relatively obvious. But I said I didn't want to make him choose, but I missed him and I was feeling like less of a priority. I left the room like that, completely a mess. I cried a bit and went to bed a couple hours later.

I didn't expect to see him after he left for work this morning. I was almost positive he was going to go ahead with his plan to hang out with John all day. Much to my surprise I was woken up by him coming into bed with me this morning. I guess I won the battle...this week. I don't think anything has changed though. He knew if he didn't come home this morning I was going to get more upset. I have absolutely no problem with him seeing his friend once a week all day at his house and than Friday for DnD night. When it becomes multiple times a week...it becomes too much for me.

I wonder wth is wrong with me? Am I being unreasonable or stupid? Should I feel this way? /sigh