For the first time on my life I am experiencing high levels of anxiety. It's coming from multiple directions, but one in particular.

I've been dating Charles for over two years now. When we first started dating, we of course discussed our passed loves and such. One person he mentioned was a girl named Kris. They never dated, but she was a friend with benefits. Those benefits even poked and prodded into at least two of his previous relationships. Yes, he cheated on two of his ex girlfriends with her. At the time, he told me she was married and they no longer spoke (hadn't spoken in years). He told me at the time how in love with her he was, and he had considered proposing to her himself to keep her. Well that didn't happen, she got married and had kids etc. They stopped talking and he moved on. Even as he talked about her in my head I was saying 'of all the women he had in his life she makes me the most nervous'. That feeling stuck with me, but I let it sink into my head because they had no contact I had nothing to worry about.

Last Monday that all changed. She called him...twice. He at first refused to answer it. But she was persistent. He eventually called her back. She was depressed, having panic attacks and allegedly suicidal. At first I was like good on him for being there for her, but my doubts started popping up as the week went on. I know girls who will fake suicidal thoughts to insert themselves back into someones life. Their first two conversations involved her crying to him about how done with life she was, but now they've moved on to more casual conversations. I know this because he told me...at first. As their conversations got more casual he decided he didn't have to tell me when they spoke or texted. I do not like this at all. He says he isn't telling me so I won't get upset. But knowing they are talking and he's not telling me is making me upset.

Now, of course I told him how uncomfortable him talking to her is making me. He assures me nothing is going on, and nothing will go on bc she lives out of state. YEAH....that's not a comfort. It's telling me if she was local they would hang out. In an attempt to make me feel better he told me he is lifting the ban on his phone. I always knew that peeping into his phone/facebook (invading his privacy) was a deal breaker for him. So, him allowing me access to his phone is a big deal. Then again, it's easy to delete texts, and fb messages.

I've sought the advice of my friends and they all agree that I should put a stop to this. But how do you tell your boyfriend that you don't want him talking to someone when he genuinely thinks she is at the end of her rope in life? I have never snooped in his phone since we've been dated...never. Tonight I broke that record. I am so incredibly anxious about them talking that I couldn't help myself. They have talked on the phone 5-6 times in a week. Their text conversations are incredibly casual. Though I do not like the fact that she is talking about shaving her legs, and getting laid to him. That irks me...

I'm constantly on the verge of tears and anxious to the point of shaking. I just can't take them being in any sort of contact. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. I feel like if she was faking to get him back into her life she's succeeded. I want her to fade back into nothingness.