Money is always a problem for me

SailorRei started a blog post Money is always a problem for me
May 31, 2015, 11:09 AM
Money is always a problem for me

Why money is always such a big deal? Why every time we want to meet I need to check my budget and make sure that I can even afford it? I hate it how money have such a huge influence over my life right now.

So beside trying to get money to meet in August, I'll have my final bachelor exam next week and really should study but I just can't stop thinking about if we ever going to meet again This LDR is seriously on my mind 24/7 almost blocking everything else. My flatmate moved out sometime ago and now I'm starting to feel lonely living alone. The weather is shitty and all my friends are studying, so basically my whole days (if not at work), I'm sitting alone in my apartment, trying to study when in reality I'm thinking about you all the time and crying while browsing plane tickets

I don't want you to know all these things, because I'm afraid it'll just make you sad that you can't help me. I'm already hurting you as it it by being so silent lately. But I just can't bring myself to talk you when I'm like this. And I know you are in happy place right now- nice internship, own apartment and friends close by to spend weekend with. So I don't want to be the only negative thing in your life.

I'm so sorry for being distant but that's how I always coped with things that were bringing me down- I would just try to forget them and pretend they don't exist. But how can I pretend that the our distance doesn't exist? It's terrible, but sometimes I think that maybe I should end this and let myself live as I did before and let you enjoy your life to the fullest. But then... I can't. I CAN SEE us closing the distance and living together, so I need to endure these 2 years.
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5 comments
- #3
  
  lyonsgirl commented
  
  June 1, 2015, 12:54 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Unfortunately, if it's not money that's the problem, it's finding the time. And before you say it, I know, "if only I had the money I'd see him all the time!" except, life. Being reasonable: if you have the money that means you either have a full time or more than one part-time job. Which means you'd have to take off work to see him. From a full-time job, you might get vacation days, but sometimes there are restrictions on those. Part-time jobs usually don't have vacation days, which means you'd have to somehow swing it that you don't work any of the days you want to see him, and if you get paid hourly, it means you wouldn't be making any money.
  
  Please don't get me wrong: I'm not saying it won't ever be possible to see him again. Just, don't worry so much about the money because, unfortunately, there will always be mountains in your way that you have to navigate around/over/through. But you'll make it.
- #4
  
  SailorRei commented
  
  June 17, 2015, 02:12 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Originally posted by lyonsgirl;bt37734
  
  Unfortunately, if it's not money that's the problem, it's finding the time. And before you say it, I know, "if only I had the money I'd see him all the time!" except, life. Being reasonable: if you have the money that means you either have a full time or more than one part-time job. Which means you'd have to take off work to see him. From a full-time job, you might get vacation days, but sometimes there are restrictions on those. Part-time jobs usually don't have vacation days, which means you'd have to somehow swing it that you don't work any of the days you want to see him, and if you get paid hourly, it means you wouldn't be making any money.
  
  Please don't get me wrong: I'm not saying it won't ever be possible to see him again. Just, don't worry so much about the money because, unfortunately, there will always be mountains in your way that you have to navigate around/over/through. But you'll make it.
  
  Thank you I know, it's either money or time, but being student I have the time, not the money
- #5
  
  SailorRei commented
  
  June 17, 2015, 02:14 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Originally posted by sweetshay;bt37732
  
  Hey I can definitely understand how you feel. Money struggles are dreadful and that's something I'm dealing with too. I keep most of my emotions bottled up cause I just assume no one cares or has time for my depressed crap. But talking about it can really help. Keeping it all inside is just going to make you explode one day. Are there counseling service at your school? I bawled my eyes out to them a few times. Keep your head up, it will all work out in the end, and when you're ready I think you should tell your SO how you're feeling. It's important for them to know what you're going through even if they don't have a solution.
  
  Yea, I had a long talk with my bf, and had to open up and let him in, which was not easy. But he is being extremely good and supportive and understands that exams and graduation can be a hard time
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Money is always a problem for me