That said, I haven't really given any thought to the name changing thing, until I started to hear in many conversations with germans, that the last name thing is a big deal for them. I couldn't understand why. It made me curious, so I started to read about it.
In Germany, you are definitely not obligated to change your last name, a woman can in fact, keep her name as it is, but once the couple have kids, they have to decide for a last name for the kids. Either the father's or the mother's. However, The possibilities are endless and I like that. They can even have both, as we do in Colombia, but the majority of people use just one family name.
I honestly wouldn't have a problem changing my last name. I see it more as way to reinforce that we are a family. I don't think, by any means that it will affect my identity, who I am.
I am, however, having a hard time trying to understand how does it work when you marry a person from a different country. When is such change made, before we sign the papers on our civil/legal ceremony? after? do we do it in Colombia? in Germany?
I'm not super stressed about this. I'm sure the answers will come out before we marry and have to decide. I am more interested in reading people's experiences regarding this topic and how did it work for you if you married a person from a nationality different than yours. Also, where should I focus my search in order to find official information about it? Consulates? embassies, registry offices?
Thanks for reading and sharing your experience, if you do!
As far as my country is concerned, a woman will take her husband's last name 95% of the time, and just start being called Mrs Husband's Last-Name at work, school, wherever. The administrative reality is, though, that she doesn't need to do that. In ALL of her administrative documents (ID, passport, all sorts of certificates), say Jane Smith married Patrick Adams, she will be known as Jane Smith épouse (spouse of) Adams. So in a sense, she keeps her maiden name forever. You just choose whether to use your husband's name, but you don't have to.
Practically, of course, a man will scream bloody murder if his wife keeps her maiden name in her everyday dealings
As for my own experience, I was told I could do whatever I wanted. I decided to hyphenate our last names on my marriage certificate, but I don't think it was a very good idea because that way it's rather... unwieldy. My husband's name starts with an N, and my maiden name rhymes with Batman, but the way it's transcribed with Latin alphabet, it's Batmane (thanks to France's occupation
The kids will have their father's name. It's a rather rare name in Finland, so it'd be nice to perpetuate it. Unless they decide to take mine when they grow up.
In Germany there are two options genereally: You can choose the name law (is there a special word for that) from Germany or from the country the foreign spouse is from (I have no idea what happens if both are foreigners? But that's not your case anyway). So I guess, you could choose Colobiam law, theoretically.
We would have been able to change/keep our names according to Polish law anyway.
If you choose German law you can
1) both keep your names (what we did)
2) chose either of your last names for both of you
3) one of you can hyphenate (in any order)
Your children can only have one last name and all of them need to have the same last name.
You can change your name during your civil ceremony, but you don't have to - you can do it at any point later during your marriage. But once you change, you can't go back (unless you got divorced and re-married I guess).
If you're unsure about anything, I'd ask directly at the Standesamt. I think you could just not change your names in Colombia and do it when you get back to Germany, if you want to, of course.
We haven't changed our names so far, because we really didn't see the need for it and it obviously comes with a whole lot of (expensive) complications like getting a new ID, passport, driver's license, getting the name on your bank account changed, etc.
My husband (kinda) agreed to take my last name once we have children together, so all of us will have the same last name. It's not really neccessary as such either, but it does make things easier if you pick up your child from kindergarten, need to see them in a hospital, etc.
We decided for my last name for practical reasons. It's less common (everyone with this last name is family!) and it's shorter and easier to spell and pronounce. My husband has a typical long ass Polish last name with a lot of consonants and not enough vowels
I didn't change my last name. I'm not into it, and since my SO is Latino it was never an issue
Any hypothetical kids would get both our last names. My SO's easy Latin name and my long ass German name. Suckers.
Good luck!