Just yesterday I was telling my SO how I wished the postal services here were trustworthy and efficient. But that is just so: a wish.
If it was a reality, a fact; the process of delivering our wedding invites would've been easier for me, as it was for my SO.
I could've just walked to the post office, deal with a machine who is not going to ask me unnecessary stuff or better, stuff that are not its business. The max the machine would expect from me is some coins in order to "throw up" a couple of stamps.
Once ready with the stamps, I again would've have to deal with a second machine, whose "mouth" would be half or wide open, but not to again ask me unnecessary stuff or make out of place comments or suggestions. Just wide open to receive my invites without asking why, or how, or did you invite x or y? No questions at all, just wide open to receive and get our invites delivered some days later.
And yes, I know to some it might sound as personally delivering your invites is well more "personal" and close. Bullshit! It's a pain in the #@$@#%^# and yes I am upset. Sometimes people suck so much you wish you were dealing with machines and not with such humans.
Personally delivering your invites, one-by-one is to begin with, logistically tiring if you don't own a car. And when you get lucky your father is free on a saturday and willing to take you places in his car, it is also stressing to drive around : people driving like crazy, no road rules, construction work and to top it off: is hot as hell and AC is not enough. But you try to keep cool and focus on other things, sending the bad vibes away… until you reach a destination, greet the person and a second hell breaks in: conversation starts normal and sometimes not normal at all. Until you let them know you are there to deliver your wedding invite. That's when all the uncalled questions and suggestions come, and the awkward moment when that person(s) think you are also inviting her children, who are married and each have 4 kids. When from the early stages you decided they are not going to be invited, and not matter what you are not going to invite them… but at that exact moment how do you say so without sounding mean? I hate it when I have to give explanations, because I just feel I don't need to explain the decisions me and SO made regarding this. Period.
I don't know and really don't understand why do people make such a big deal for a wedding invite or why do they think they HAVE to be invited. I am a so laid-back, when I hear a close friend of mine is getting married I feel genuinely happy for her/him and I am ok with being invited or not. I don't write comments like: "Oh you are getting married, I hope I am invited", or if it is a friend I don't talk often to, I don't randomly message her just with the hope she knows I exists and that she invites me or not. No and this is why I don't understand why some people behave the way they do, why do they start suggesting things you haven't even asked for, why do they criticize your decision of not inviting x or y. It's my f#$%#$^ wedding, not yours. When you are organizing your own wedding, or your daughters wedding or whatever, feel free to invite whoever you want and to do whatever you want, but please don't try to bring people down with your comments and talking bullshit behind my back. How unfair is that? Why can not people be genuinely happy for you? I don't get it and it makes me sad and leaves me so upset. I know no matter what, people will always have something to complain about, but man!
I have said it before: I am far from being an expert in party planning, but so far and after this crazy weekend and the days that are to come -after some people find out they were not invited- I am wishing my SO and I would've taken the elopement route. People - suck!
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Schlafmütze started a blog post Wedding rambles are also part of the process, or?Wedding rambles are also part of the process, or?
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Some aunts however, are taking a childish attitude, making hurtful comments and talking without knowing, just assuming.
It hurts because it surprisingly comes from the relatives. They are taking it personal, when it isn't. Without knowing the real reasons, reasons that common sense tells anyone, but idk they don't seem to use it.
It hurts because my SO and I could've easily gotten married in Germany and not telling anyone, instead we decided to do it here because I am the one leaving and we thought it was fair to share our special moment with some friends and relatives. Looks like at the end it wasn't a wise move.
Truth is, yes I am a bit hurt, but I am not changing my mind. I am inviting only the people we initially decided to invite and if any of them doesn't want to come because I didn't invite her/his daughters or sons+ flamily, well it's their decision. At the end I am sure the people who will come, are the ones genuinely happy for us. The rest, can stay home with their negativity and childish attitude. We don't need or want want that anyways.
I guess it's something that inevitable comes with weddings, though. Our wedding was tiny and didn't invovle a lot of planning or wedding-y stuff at all and even we had that problem (I still haven't forgiven my inlaws completely for the drama they caused).
Don't let them spoil your Vorfreude, though
One of the reasons we didn't invite my SO's cousins (who we really like) to our party here in CR was because he said if we invited them, we'd have to invite the rest of the family (like 15 other people) or else they would get mad. Forget it, no one gets to come then.