Now that the visa is done, he opened up to me and told met hat he has been hopeless for a while. He even said that he is dying inside since February. He said that all his life he was content with what he had, where he was and what he did in his life, but now that he is with me, he doesn't want to be content. He wants to do something with his life, something meaningful.

It's heartbreaking to hear him so hopeless and I don't know how to give him hope. I failed my bachelor thesis and so I don't have a Bachelor's degree when I move to him. It's not ideal, but it is not the worst case scenario. I believe I can find a job and if I have to do multiple jobs to do my part, I will do it. But he was hoping that with my good education, I could get a good job and I would be the one to help us start our own life and he could quit his job. Now I can't and he is feeling awful. He is not blaming me for it and we are both trying to work towards a solution where I can finish my studies in the US, which should be very doable, but also very expensive, but it's still making him feel hopeless.

I don't know how to give him hope and it breaks me. I wanted us to start a good life with each other, be happy that we are finally together, but he is not happy. It's not the relationship, he knows we two are a team and will work through everything, but he is not happy with his life. He is sharing his apartment with his sister and her husband. They count on us living with them to share the rent, so he can't just move out to do what he wants. We have money saved, quite a bit, but it is not enough for him to quit his job and live off savings for more than a couple years and right now, that is all he wants to do.

I have a couple plans on how to get money and what jobs we can both do, but it really all comes down to luck and dedication. He is close to finishing the first draft of his second novel and it is amazing. I can't wait to go over it and finish it, but we have had already a couple rejections from agents and that hurts. Me not as much as him, because it is his work that is "not good enough" to be published.

I firmly believe that our love is going to be enough. Not because I am naive and I think you don't need money, but because I am willing to work for minimum wage in multiple jobs if I can to help us be where we want to be. As long as I can come home to be with him, I will do any job that helps us achieve our goals. I am 25 and I speak multiple languages. For me, life just started and I am willing to do everything I have to to make him happy and give him what he needs to feel hopeful, but it is not going to be easy. My family never had money. We are pretty broke, but I was never unhappy because of it. Of course I strive for more and I would love to have money, but money is not what I need in life to be happy. I need love and I am going to marry my best friend in America, both things I thought would never happen in my life and they are happening. To me, life is already giving me great opportunities to show that life is more than what I thought it was.

Still, I feel awful that I have nothing I can promise to give him the hope he needs. I am not going to earn enough money for both of us, especially as a foreigner who just got his work permit, so he will have to keep working a job he hates, but I think if we live a couple years humbly and save our money, we could buy a house in a couple years, start having kids even. I know it's not ideal, but we will work it out.

Am I naive after all? I don't know. I just wish the agent would respond and tell us that the novel is amazing and he wants to publish it, I know that that would help him.