I don't expect anyone to read this, but I need to get this off my mind. The husband says I should just let it go and the sooner I do, the better I will feel, so maybe this will help.
A couple weeks ago, I had a falling out with a "friend". He accused me of ignoring his messages and not talking to him, because I don't talk to people who drop the tag. I explained to him that this is not what happened, that it was an unfortunate series of events and that I am never ignoring him. There was one message I missed, because my husband and I were working on a real life project of his that needed our utmost attention and I don't respond to anyone when we are working on it, and later on I forgot. So yes, I apologized for this message, because I really did forget about it, but he lies to my face, telling me that he messaged me multiple times and I have always ignored him and that both of us are too busy to respond to his messages, when the reality is: I have always responded to his messages, except that one time - same goes for my husband.
Now he blames me for ruining his project, that I knew NOTHING about, because he never told me up until I found out on the forums 5 weeks before it should have been done, yet he claims he wanted to do it months ago AND he lied to his girlfriend, whom I friends with, saying that he sent the screenplay to my husband months ago and it was on my husband to talk about it to me - he never did!! He never sent him the screenplay and he dares to say that my husband did a poor job of being a husband.
So when he didn't apologize for the way he treated me in the fight, getting really nasty and blaming me for things I didn't do, yet ignoring me when I explained what really happened (the same thing he accused me of doing), but messaged me, once again, because he needed something from me, I was simply done. I am not a puppet and if you're my friend, you are my friend, I am not your slave. The only reason he messaged me yesterday was because he knows I have the power to remove people from the community and he wanted someone removed. Once again, I am nothing until he needs something from me.
I told him exactly how I felt, I told him that I am done talking to him whenever he wants it, being ignored and him admitting that he ignores not only me, but my husband as well and I told him all these things, because it was hurting for years. He explained that he was too busy to respond right away (which I believe), but what good would it do to respond to a message that was about a game he was playing. Now here is the thing, that was maybe 1% of my messages, the rest were personal things, trying to talk to him, trying to let him in on something and the same thing happened to my husband who would message him when he felt down about being LD and he got ignored as well. So when he asked me "what planet I live on", calling me a liar, my husband was done and confronted him about it.
In response to this, he deleted us both from his life. I kept communication open, I let him explain himself, yet he decided to throw me away like garbage.
Now, the issue is, my husband cares about him a lot, but he will never let him insult me and now he has lost a friend due to something so stupid, something so self-centered and I feel awful, because I know that my husband really liked him and is going to miss him, but at this point, there is no going back. He lies his way out of things and there is nothing I can do to prove that he is a liar, because he is a liar. I liked his girlfriend a lot and I liked him quite a bit, but I am kind of also relieved that I don't have to continue lying for him (he was married, yet told her he never was), but at the same time I am really sad. I wish we didn't have to go down this path, but I am done bending over backwards to make him feel good about himself, when he only ever talks to me when he needs something and drops the conversation as soon as he is done with that.
I guess, I feel really shitty, because even though calling me a liar hurt me, because all I did was tell him my feelings, my husband got protective and lost a good friend. Then again, he couldn't have sit back and let him insult me, because that would show him that he can insult his wife and my husband won't do anything about it. So I guess at this point, I have to let go and wait for him to make the next move.
I told his girlfriend that if he wants to talk, I will listen, but it's on him now. I didn't remove him, I didn't stop talking, I encouraged him to tell me why he did all these things, to talk to me, let me see his side of the story, but he refused and threw me away.
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Continuation of the Brother issue
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#3whatruckus commentedMay 15, 2015, 09:40 AMEditing a commentHe's probably got the girlfriend so manipulated that she doesn't even know what's going on (especially since he lied to her about being married). IMO, take this as a good thing. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I've dropped multiple people from my life for using me. I'm not going to be your doormat.
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#4snow commentedMay 15, 2015, 10:51 AMEditing a commentThat's exactly what my husband said and hearing you say it too is really what I needed to hear! She is a wonderful person, she is so genuinely nice and caring that I can't believe the way she talked to me. I know she was defending her boyfriend and I get it, but don't pull the "I'm your friend" card and then make me feel like shit, that's not what a friend does. Thank you!
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#5whatruckus commentedMay 15, 2015, 11:24 AMEditing a commentOriginally posted by snow;bt37543
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