Who would have thought that buying a house would be so frustrating?

I guess I just need to get all these thoughts out because they are stressing me out and I hate it, especially since it's an ongoing battle with my BIL and SIL.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6...60110256_zpid/

So, we looked at this beautiful 4 bedroom, 3 bedroom house with a beautiful big yard for $73k. We immediately put an offer in on the house - it was perfect. It had two rooms for me and my husband so we can finally separate the bedroom from our computers, which is something I desperately need and it had a big nursery for my SIL that they need since she is 12 weeks pregnant. It was 3 minutes away from the bus and in walking distance for my husband to get to work.
We go through the whole process, we hire a lawyer, we found a real estate agent, the papers are set up - the bank tells us to bring a $1000 check to secure the house and to come sign the papers, which my BIL does - he signs that we will pay a $1060 mortgage and gives the bank the check.
One day later we are told that someone else already bought the house and that if we wanted it now, we would have to add $5000 to the closing costs - OH, and there is asbestos in the basement that we were not informed about. All of this seems super shady, but we are nonetheless disappointed since it was the perfect house in the perfect location.

BIL gets frustrated and starts looking at houses around $180k and 3 bedrooms. We tell them that it makes no sense for us to move to a house to be just as cramped as we are here now, but pay more. They are very reluctant and tell us this is what we need to do if we want to buy a house.

So the husband and I have a conversation about maybe getting our own 1 bedroom apartment, crunching numbers and figuring out we could easily do a one bedroom that is close to the bus line, and again in walking distance to my husband's work place - we don't have cars or licenses.

BIL and SIL tease us how we would not have any furniture or anything really if we split - we think about it and find out that we own like more than half of the stuff in the kitchen, most of the appliances as well as the internet boxes. So all we really need to move into the apartment by ourselves is a couch, which we can find cheap if we really wanted to.
Once BIL and SIL hear about this their tone changes. Suddenly a 4 bedroom house is definitely something we need to look into and making sure that it's close to the bus should be easy - SIL is not going to work once the baby is here so they need us to cover half the expenses and we all know that we would benefit from that. We're all excited to see what we can find.

I found a couple houses in that category - all 4 bedroom, all near the bus, all under ~$150k - they hate every single one without even going to check them out. Whatever, we have a little time. We don't have to move until August.

This is where we get to yesterday:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4...60108836_zpid/

I went with them to look at a house listed at $185 with 3 bedrooms, which already seems like they are not taking our needs into consideration, but I was willing to look at it, because if the room is big enough to separate our two areas, we would have been fine. We look at the house and it's decent. It's not amazing, but it's not bad. The kitchen is beautiful, the downstairs is nice - the upstairs, which would be our area, is eh. Whatever, I could give it a try.

Then we get to the point of location - I don't know where things are so I ask them how far away it is to the bus stop - almost 3 miles, 50 minutes. I tell them that this is not going to be doable for us, we cannot walk 50 minutes every day to get to the BUS, not even to work. They are less than pleased. BIL wants to put an offer in atm, even tells the realtor that he wants the house even if we don't want it - he makes enough money to swing it, so no problem. (Oh, really? A couple days ago you told us you cannot afford to buy a house by yourself and need us to move with you??)

At that point, I just smile and say nothing. I'm not going to fight in front of the realtor. I tell them that the house is really nice, but since it takes 10 minutes by car to get to the bus stop, we won't be able to move here. They say, "well, maybe it's time to get a license", I tell them that this is not in the budget atm, so they say that we should get bikes. SIL points out that in bad weather we cannot rely on bikes, so that makes no sense. I tell them that maybe we should keep looking, but they say that we are running out of options and that we have to sacrifice on something - and I agree! We all should make compromises, but walking 50 minutes to get to the bus is not an option.

Now, maybe I am selfish, but I feel like if you need us to cover half of your expenses since you might not be able to buy a house by yourself, you should try and take our needs into consideration. We don't have cars, we need to get to the bus. Currently the bus is 25 minutes away and I am OK with walking that distance, but twice that much after working 9 hours? No way.

I talked to the husband about that house and he said that if that is how they want to treat us, we will simply get the one bedroom apartment. He is not worried about it. There is one in particular that seems perfect. Heat and hot water is included and with all added expenses, we would pay about as much as we pay here (we pay half here that's why we cannot stay here - can't afford the whole rent/utilities).

The husband doesn't necessarily wants to split up, it's his sister and he loves living with them, but honestly, I am so ready to have my own home with my husband. Even if it is one bedroom, being able to just be together and not walk on eggshells would be amazing.

I just feel like they don't respect our needs. I totally understand that they need to find a place soon, once the baby is here, they have to leave this place and I understand that they are under pressure, but if you need us, you should treat us with respect. They barely have any savings and are heavily relying on our savings to help them with the house - which again, we would be willing to do if the house was in a good location for us, but we are not putting money into a place that just won't work for us.

This has been going on since February and it's really tiring. All I want is to find out if the apartment complex has one of the cheap apartments ready and if they do, I want them to keep one for us so we can move once our lease is up. I am done fighting and trying to be polite about being screwed.