So like the title says, my SO is thinking of going to China for up to 5 years. He found a really cool sounding martial arts school open to everyone and honestly it sounds like a great experience for him but school can last up to 5 years, he was thinking of going for just a year but when he really started thinking about it he wants to go the whole 5 years. That's where I start freaking out, we were meant to close the distance months ago but I got sucked into going to college for 2 years so we put it off but to add another 3 years on top of that plus adding a 15hr time difference and plane tickets so expensive visits will be literally impossible? I just can't do it. There's no way I can handle that, I'll break and I know it but I just can't bring myself to tell him not to go. I wouldn't mind him going for a year, I mean I'd still be in school and all that but adding the 3 years that would mean we'd be LD for 7 years. This is a really amazing opportunity for him so how could I be so selfish as to make him come back after a year? He's putting up with me staying here 2 years for college so how is it fair of me to not give him the same courtesy? I don't know I'm just rambling here. I just want to be with my SO.
He says I could enter into school with him after I'm done with college but it's expensive and I can't afford it nor would I really want to attend the school, it sounds awesome and I am taking my own martial arts class at college but this would be a whole different level and I don't think I could handle it to be honest. I guess I could just go to China when I'm done and not enter into the school but then what would I do? I don't speak mandarin it's in a rural area so I doubt I could really find a job or anything to do so I'd just sit in an apartment there when he's going to be gone literally all day the school is from 6am-9pm monday-friday so I don't know if it would be worth it when I could be back here in the US working and saving up money for when he moved back. But again, that's another 3 years LD with no money for visits and an insane time difference.
I don't know what I should do.
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Sora1101 started a blog post SO thinking of going to ChinaSO thinking of going to China
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I'm going to differ from others a bit, though. I think that since it is early days, you should talk about your feelings on this, even if they are oppositional to his (talk to him about the points you made here). He's looking for your input and this is your chance to give it! If his new plan doesn't fizzle out, then you might wish you had said something earlier.