Oh hey, first blog post!

At first I thought of making this a thread but I figured, why would I bother people with my problems, eh?

The last two weeks have been some of the worst days of my life. I'll start by saying that while I'm not really a health freak, I am extremely paranoid, pessimistic and over-emotional when it comes to disease. This has only been increased by the number of people (some of them very close to me) that have died on me for the last couple of years, mostly due to cancer.

So, as I said, about two weeks ago I was sitting at my office, chatting with a friend/colleague, when she pointed out I had a swelling in my neck. My world instantly shattered, because I'm a drama queen like that. My first thought was that it was thyroid-related, as my mother and younger sister had recently been diagnosed with hypothyroïdism. I couldn't go to the doctor's straight away because it was the eve of weekend. So I had to wait and lament and imagine worst case scenarios. When I finally could go see the doc, she said that it looked like goitre but we'd have to do an ultrasound to make sure. Well, it wasn't that at all. Turned out I have swollen lymph nodes. She said I shouldn't worry, that it was probably infection-related, prescribed anti-biotics and said to do the ultrasound again ten days after.

And what did I do when I found that out? Well, naturally I googled the shit out of my symptoms, and came up with the conclusion that I either had lymphoma or leukemia. Because that's exactly the kind of person that I am! Seriously, don't do that, people.

And then the worst ten days of my life started. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, would break down crying randomly, and was just convinced I was going to die of cancer. The swelling wouldn't go away, so that didn't help. People were telling me that I was overreacting, that I had no reason to worry, that I was being crazy, and while I understood why they thought that, I couldn't make myself believe it. My SO had been a champ, though. No one could comfort me and cheer me up like he did.

So anyway, the ten days went crawling by, and I went to get the second ultrasound yesterday. While the nodes are still there, their size has overall decreased, which means that the meds worked. Also, the doctor who did the ultrasound was a sweetheart. She basically sat me down, showed me the screen and explained to me in details why there's no way those nodes are cancer-related. I wish the person who did the first ultrasound would have seen fit to communicate with me that way, instead of half-answering my question. It would have spared me a lot of stress. But that's life.

So I am feeling pretty amazing right now. My doctor said that we should monitor the nodes in a month, just in case. In the meantime I'm just going to enjoy life and food (My first feeling when I got out, after relief, was hunger ) and continue working on my life plan, which I had momentarily interrupted because I thought I was going to die in a couple months. Which could still happen, but I'd rather not see it coming!