I had started a blog post continuing from the previous one, about my recent trip to Finland, but then I decided to delete it because there are more pressing matters.

So I finally found the courage to do something about the parents situation. This morning I texted my mother at 7h40, soon after we left home to go to work, telling her to look inside my sisters' closet for a large envelope. I kept my phone in my hand for the entire car ride, but nothing.

When I got here, at 8h26, I received a text message from her saying this "Radia, my child, flesh of my flesh, I just woke up after having fainted for about 15 minutes. I'm still lying down, motionless, not knowing what to think. Why do things always have to be so complicated for me? Thank you, my daughter".

In case you get the wrong impression, that "thank you" wasn't heartfelt. It wasn't exactly sarcastic either, but it's something my mother says to her daughters when they have really hurt her.

So naturally, I feel like utter shit. My brain knows that I shouldn't be feeling that way, but I can't help it. I KNOW I'm doing the right thing. I know I can't go on putting my life on hold just to please other people, no matter how much I love them. Hopefully I'll eventually re-gather my strength and see things clearly. At least I have about 10 hours before I face her again.

I called my eldest sister, who was going to drop her son at my mother's on her way to work, and told her everything. She said she was on her way and would call me after seeing my mother. So I guess I'll update this blog later.

Thanks for your unending support, friends. I couldn't do it without you.