It all started two Saturdays ago. I mentioned somewhere in the forum that I had been losing a lot of hair. It hasn't stopped since I got back from my last trip to Finland, which was end of June. I figured it was seasonal and also due to stress (I had a crazily unpleasant end for my trip, as you might remember) and that it would get fixed on its own, after a few weeks (happened to me the previous July) but it didn't. It's still going on. I tried a couple of anti-hair loss shampoos and some pills (mostly iron, zinc and vitamin B supplements) but nothing worked. So I decided maybe it was time to see a dermatologist, and went on the aforementioned Saturday.

Once at the office, I realized there was an ophthalmologist sharing the same practice, so I figured hey, I was planning on getting my eyes checked at some point. Two birds, one stone right? Once that was done, I simply decided to make that Saturday all about my health and decided I was going to get a breast ultrasound. I had had a prescription for it in my purse since last May, after all. So I went to the medical imagery center (at least that's how we call those places here) expecting everything to be normal, since this was something I had requested on my own, and I had never felt a lump or anything (goat knows I check myself all the time) but things didn't go as planned. Right breast was alright, but the left one was full of nodules. Biggest one was 12 millimeters, so obviously I suck at checking my breasts for lumps. The radiologist kept reassuring me that this was quite common and I didn't have breast cancer history in my family so it was most likely benign, but I can never take people "who just say that" seriously. I'm not someone who can be comforted with meaningless words, you know. I have to talk to people who KNOW. Needless to say, I was panicked. Timo wasn't in Finland (he was on a business trip to Amsterdam) so he wasn't entirely available, though I did call to let him know. But as I said, Timo's words wouldn't have comforted me anyway.

The next day I asked my sister to book me an appointment with the only (and very renowned) breast specialist in the city, but unsurprisingly the earliest slot I got was for November 23rd. Obviously that wouldn't do, so I remembered that my regular gynecologist's card said that she also specialized in breast illness so I went to see her the following day. I don't need an appointment with her, but I do need to show up super early and wait on the stairs of the building until her assistant comes in to open the office, so that I wouldn't have to wait too long for my turn. Many women do that, of course, so I found myself 5th in rank. But it's not too unpleasant to wait at a gyno's office because there is this sense of solidarity and sisterhood among the patients, we talk about all kinds of stuff and even share some deeply personal details. I don't know if that's the case anywhere else? Maybe that's just how our society works. Anyway, I got to see the doc and... she didn't seem very reassuring :S She did feel the biggest nodule and she declared that I am a risky patient when I told her I had a maternal cousin who had breast cancer. I'm not sure that's entirely correct, because neither my mother, grand-mother, great-grand-mother or any of my seven aunts have any history. But apparently having a sick first-degree cousin means I could get it too. I'm willing to trust her, of course. She also said that she wasn't surprised I had nodules because of PCOS. She ordered a needle biopsy, for which I couldn't get an appointment until a week later, so you can imagine how down and anguished I was for the following days, wondering if I was dying, not even being able to discuss any future plans with anyone...

Day of the biopsy arrived and I have to say that it was a very painful experience. I thought I would handle it well because I'm used to having brazilians a couple of days before my period, so how much more painful would a needle stuck in my tit be? It was silly to make that comparison. I guess I DID handle it well on the spot. They have to take the sample twice (first one had a lot of breast fat cells in it) and even though the needle being inserted isn't anymore painful than getting a regular shot, it stays in there a long while and there's a lot of poking around. I didn't cry or shout or even made a sound. But I did feel very miserable and the pain lingered for several hours after it was done. Thankfully there was no bruising. And also the results would be given less than two days later (I was expecting it to be two weeks, because that's how long it took my younger sister to have her results back a couple years ago).

So last Wednesday I went back to the lab and I don't think I had ever felt so nervous and anxious in my life as in those two seconds before the lady handed me the envelope. I was shaking like a leaf and the medical stuff on the report didn't make the least bit of sense to me and I was like "oh hell, this is going to take a lot of googling" and then I saw the conclusion "benign, fibroadenoma". I started crying, you'd think I'd had gotten some really bad news I was so relieved, as you can imagine.

Turns out that, indeed, women with hormonal disorders are much more likely to get those benign tumors than other women. Also it means that I will have to be monitored at least once a year, but of course I was willing to do that already. I was supposed to go see my doctor as soon as I got the results but I postponed that. I already have an appointment with her next Thursday (the day I finish my last course of hormonal treatment) for an ovarian ultrasound, so I figured since I know I probably don't have cancer, it can wait a few days. I'm thinking I'll still go to the Nov 23rd appointment because why not get a second opinion from this great expert

Anywho, these were the latest health woes from yours truly. I will add that my eye sight hasn't declined, which is good. But as far as hair loss is concerned I'm in a bit of a pickle. The dermatologist ordered blood tests to determine the cause and apparently my ferritin level is very low so I am anemic. I didn't think I was because I got blood tests done in March and they said my hemoglobin and hematocrite levels were good, but apparently ferritin is what determines whether you are anemic or not. I had to get a three-month treatment of iron supplements (yay black poop!) and a corticosteroid-based lotion to apply to my scalp twice a day, which isn't very fun. Also special shampoo and conditioner which are very expensive, and so far to be honest, I haven't noticed a difference as my hair is still falling like crazy, but I suppose those things take time.

OK, enough about this stuff. Thanks for reading