I'll use this to clear up any confusion anyone has gotten from the sudden end and beginning of my relationship(s?)

So, right after my ex, or rather the guy I was in a relationship with after coming back to LFAD- ended, I got in touch with my ex (now SO) also the man I was with when I originally came to LFAD. It was like an epiphany to me when my ex (we'll call him T to make things less confusing) basically admitted to falling for a girl there, and that he "Loved me, but didn't love me as a woman" anymore. I had to admit the same. For a month he pretty much starved me of communication even though he did admit to having time available. That hurt, but halfway through that month I pretty much felt as if the relationship had indeed ended I was just tired. Why make the effort for someone who chooses not to make an effort? It was pointless to me, but looking back I was too, for lack of a better word, ignorant- or maybe prideful?- to see just how long I had given up on it. We were together less than a month and that kind of upset me because when I get into a relationship, I want something that lasts longer than that I go for months not about a month. I suppose it was a rebound, and that you could indeed call it that. The entire time I was still totally in love with the man that came before T (We'll call him S.)

So, it wasn't until I let out a sob and tried to say "I still love you T" but instead said, "I still love you S" that I knew it. That I had never gotten over him. So I messaged him on Skype of course, not expecting an answer- and with a couple seconds, he replied! We talked, and discussed everything. I asked him if we could talk, and we did- for fifteen amazing minutes, we talked about anything and everything. How much we missed each other, what was going on in our lives, and whatnot. It was great. To hear his voice again it- it is a hard feeling to describe, but I can equate it to that of...home. He sounded like home. Just like that, I was at ease and happy and every single positive feeling you could feel. That's what it felt like. We talked as if nothing had happened, but obviously discussed and acknowledged what had happened. We are both determined to make it work this time around, because we know just how committed we were the first time around, and are determined to make the first meet happen this summer! =)

Anywho, for the past...month? few weeks? I'm bad with time- obviously. I have had such an upbeat, undying positive attitude it's unreal. He really does bring out the best in me. Yeah, the communication isn't the best, but I know that he tries. He puts forth an effort to make this work, and so do I.

Note* I dislike telling everyone this story because of how quickly I went from one relationship to another but at the same time it is what happened, and I cannot deny that. I shouldn't feel ashamed, but at first, I kinda did. In the back of my head I was worried what everyone would think- here and in real life but I don't. No one knows the whole story- they only know what I choose to share, and it's hard to explain but this- him- it feels...right. And that's all that matters to me. That I'm happy, and I am.