I didn't come all this way to be lonely... to not see you.
But I noticed the little love messages you left me, on the table, the tissue box, on my word-count tracker... I love you too xx You're the centre of my life, my future, my love. You're all that I have here, even after all this time.
I saw you for 15 minutes thismorning, five minutes getting dressed and then while you drove me to work.
I lied to my supervisor so I could leave early, and I got 20 more minutes with you before you went to work. And you held me and told me you loved me, and then you had to go again.
Tonight I'll lay in bed and I'll try desperatly to fall asleep, and when you get home at 1:10am I'll be greatful that you didn't work the closeing shift (And I'll try not to think of tomorrow when you do have the closing shift til 2:30am). And we wont want to sleep, but we'll have to... and then what? Tomorrow I know I should walk to work so you can sleep, so I wont see you in the morning, but you don't start until 6 so if I work really hard and get home early we can have dinner together.....
But it's just snatching time here and there.
I know you're trying hard to get a real job. I know this is temporary. And we both know the other is trying hard to not complain.
It's harder this time around you know. A lot of my friends are like "You're in the same country, what more do you want?" or "You get to sleep next to him for (part of) the night, that's more than I have." I had a support network last time, but now? I can't talk to my family and friends back home about it because all they say is "Come home", I can't talk to my online friends because I have it better than they do, what right do I have to complain? And I don't have real friends here who'd even give me that much time from their day. It's just me, and my cat, alone in a tiny silent basement night after night
I will be patient. This too shall pass. But I miss you tonight.... I hope you miss me too.
I really feel for you, I constantly feel like I'll be in a similar situation that you're in when I move to Finland, but not quite as tough as you have it right now. I'm sure every one of us here wishes we could just give you a big hug after reading that
I hope this phase passes you by real soon and just becomes a distant memory. You got through the distance, so you've done the hardest part. Just think of this as your one final hurdle before you can begin to reach the happy ever after you've always dreamed of. You're so nearly there and we're all here for you, just like you're always there for others