I interviewed my first midwife today. I think she might be the last I interview too. Is that bad? I know for important things you should shop around, but damn I liked her. Is this like buying dresses? You know, you try one on and you know that's the one you want, but then you try on six others to be sure? Or can I just go with my gut on this?
But oh, she's funny. We laughed our arses off. And we got a bit morbid, discussed the scary parts of birth/ births that lead to death/ suicide rates and all that jazz, and it was good. There was no bullshit, no pretense that I could discern. Her body language is easy to read and respond to. And she's got experience in bucket loads. I feel comfortable. And, she didn't once offer an opinion or tell me what to think. She's just like "These are the varied options/ practices". There was no beating around the bush.
But there are a few things that I need to think about now, the big one being cost. If I have this baby in a hospital, with a strange doctor I've never met, possibly more than one if the shift changes, and risk all the things I desperately do not want (C-section, induction, epidural, forceps, birthing on my back like a wounded turtle etc etc), in the hopes I will still be coherent enough to say NO!... This whole event could be more or less free - not counting the odd cup of coffee from the hospital's cafe or something unexpected. And well, free is free.
Going into the private health system isn't an option I'm looking at, because public over here is basically the same. Our public heath system is really decent, if you're into that kind of thing. If I'm sick, I choose public every time, and I've never had a horror story.
Anyway, so there's free and fear.... or there's the birth I want - for Four thousand dollars. Four grand. When Obi and I were researching the other night, he said he wouldn't really want to think about going above three. $4000. But like, I have that in the bank right now. It wont cripple us to do this, and we don't have to pay right now anyway (It's two grand at 36weeks, and another two 6 weeks after the baby is born). And there's the baby bonus. I think the baby bonus is $5000, in 13 fortnightly installments. So we break even at the end right?
I don't know. I've always cheeped out on my health. I don't get medical when I travel. I'm well overdue to see my gyno because I feel fine and I don't want to spend another $200 for her to tell me I'm fine and congratulate me for getting knocked up. I have not seen a dentist in like ten years, or an optometrist. I don't go for checkups. I refuse medication for my depression.... Like I dunno.
And then, there's the other huge thing, maybe even more huge than the money -
If I home birth with this woman, it will be a drug free birth. She offers nothing for the pain. Except a birth pool
I laughed my arse off. Am I man enough for that? Am I strong enough, calm enough, in-touch with my body enough to go into this experience that Facebook tells me has the same level of pain as fracturing 23 bones at the same time with nothing but the panadol on the top of my fridge for comfort?I mean, I never wanted serious drugs anyway, but a little gas might have been nice? And there's always the option of transferring to the hospital I guess.
It's a lot to think about, even though I know I've already made up my mind. But I'm just so happy, so excited for this experience (one often looked at with fear
) that I needed to share. The next post will not be baby or pregnancy related, I swear!!!And to the lovely people who reached out to me in the last blog, thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you, or without this site. xx
But yeah, if that's what you want and you can afford it then go for it. Plus the midwife sounds like an experienced woman so you'll be in good hands
I have an experience to offer for the pain part though; my birth was started with drugs cause I had some complications and once the contractions started man it was painful :/
I was also due to have an epidural but I guess I don't show my pain that well (???) since the midwife came in 3 three times and everytime I asked her when will I get it she said "once you really can't take the pain". At that stage I was convinced I'll pass out or die, it was that bad. There's not a position you can get yourself into that will make it comfortable or less painful. At last, the doctor came in, 3 nurses pinned me down to put the needle in (yeah it's important you don't move, that was the worst part) and the midwife looked down at me and said "oh the baby's coming" so there I was with a needle in my back but no epidural cause it was too late -.-
AND! They still marked it in my papers saying I had it even though I didn't. It really pissed me off
Anyway, sorry if I scared you there. Just saying that you can get through the pain without any help but it will HURT. Big time. Although I've heard that the tub can relief the pain a bit and obviously other people's pain thresholds are different.
But I'll tell you something else too: one the baby popped out the pain was gone in a second. It was such a huge feeling of relief like no other. And if you're fit down there you probably won't tear either so it's easier to move about afterwards. There was mum's in the ward who were strolling along with canes and wheelchairs and I was practicly running with a baby on my shoulder! I guess it helped that I had her when I was young
Well this is only my experience and it really has nothing to do with what yours will be like hah. But just so you know, prepare for the worst and it will still be worse. Plus if it goes on for hours on end (mine only lasted 1,5 hours :o) it will be a struggle... Couldn't she bring the gas with her or something though? Or is it extra thousands to pay for it? -.-