This blog is full of boring shit like religion and parenting. You've been warned.

Because we just had the solstice and Imbolg is coming up, I'm thinking a lot about the traditions I want for the kids when they are older. One thing that is a rule for many families is Christmas morning the kids can't wake the parents before a certain time/before dawn. I think growing up mum asked us to wait until 7am, which was easy enough for me because I loved to sleep. Before 7 we could admire what was under the tree but not touch. Which was cool some years because Santa didn't always have a chance to wrap our gifts. (And we never clued in ) But I've decided I want something different. In Wicca, the idea of Yule (Christmas) is that the Goddess gives birth to the Sun/Son God during the longest night, giving us hope that we're not going to freeze our arses off in winter forever... but it's still cold because the God/Sun is still a "baby" and thus weak and puny. (I'm sure the similarities in the "Birth of God" theme isn't lost on you hey?) Anyway, so good Wiccans either stay up all night partying until they watch the sunrise (You know, keeping the Goddess's spirits up during her labour and all) or they get up before the dawn, rug up, and watch the new baby sun be presented to the world.

Now you're all wondering how the fuck I can believe in this drivel right? It's symbolic. I know the sun is a big ball of gas, aight?

So, with that explained, if the brats want to get up please-kill-me-it's-so-early they can. I will welcome and encourage it. But I'm going to make them watch that damn sun rise to remind them that we're not worshiping Santa and greed, the gifts are a bonus. *Nods to self* Because I hate that frenzy of greed I see in kids on Christmas morning. Excitement is beautiful but I'd like to believe that I can raise civil enough little monsters that if one day we decided to do gifts at dinner instead of in the morning, I wouldn't hear any tantrums. A mum can dream

The other challenge I have is the internationalism. I guess regardless of our country at the time, we'll celebrate both solstices in a similar fashion, but with slightly different decorations and themes. I dunno, I'll make that shit up as I go! But I do want to do the 12 days of Christmas thing, particularly when we are in Canada. One because it would be cool, but also because if the better part of a fortnight is one big party it will be easier for the kids to not be so bloody confused, it will be easier for me to explain the "everyone is celebrating, but not always the same thing" thing and because the solstice doesn't fall on an exact date it won't be like we're celebrating two Christmases back-to-back but rather one extended season of awesomeness. It'll be strange to duplicate that for both solstices though, seeming everyone works in June and all that. We'll see.

Another thing on my mind right now is tattoos. I've spoken to Obi about it quite a bit. It's something I've always wanted but was terrified to do, and something that's always been a deal-breaking hard limit for him but recently he's gotten past. Age mellows us all Thanks to one of those shared pictures on facebook I realised that I'm not going to care what it looks like when I'm 70, I'm not going to regret it then because the rest of my body is going to be up to shit by then too. I'm not going to look at the things that showed I was happy and had fun and wish I'd never done them! So at first we talked about me just getting a little one. I always wanted something religious, but worried that I might convert and regret that. Well, I lost my soul over ten years ago and I don't think it's coming back, so I think it's safe to let my skin show that. So I'd like a little black cat on a broom or something, and some writing on my ribs maybe (we're talking after I'm done breeding, when I'm sure I wont surrogate.)

The other thing is the scars. I have many as most of you know, and they don't bother me, except for the ones on my left leg. Now, when I was a kid people would look at the scars and look at the pentacle around my neck and instantly connect the two. Now the scars aren't purple I don't get that so much, but one thing has always stuck with me...

Warning, possible triggers. If you've got issues, don't read this!

Let me take you back... I was 13 or 14. A day or so after I overdosed (I really don't know how much time passed) Ma decided she had to take me to the hospital so they could give me an IV for dehydration because she couldn't get me to drink. Poor woman thought I had the flu or something... until she tried to dress me to take me out, and she saw the scars. Later in the hospital, after she humiliated me by showing what felt like every man and his dog my scars, she had asked "What do the runes on your leg mean?"
There are no runes on my leg, it's plain English. The letters are just sharp because you don't get finesse with a razor blade. But because I knew how to write in the runic lettering system, and I was newly Wiccan she just assumed... Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't regret that period of my life, I'm not ashamed of my scars, I don't worry what people will think anymore... but those ones on my leg? They are stupid. Even at the time I knew better than to write on myself. I would like to obliterate them.

End triggers.

So, I've discussed with Obi getting a nice big colourful tattoo, like this owl but with a less serious face, to cover it up.
I've heard you can do that. I imagine it would be painful. Need to do more research. And then I can add to it for each spawn I bring forth, until the whole side of that leg is pretty and colourful. I hate my legs, so even if I somehow didn't like the work I had done, I seriously can't make it any worse Plus I love the anatomical heart thing. Obi's cousin has one with butterflies, it's mad.

I also want to get a southern cross made of maple leaves when I eventually get duel citizenship It looks nice in my head but I can't draw.

So, I actually got sleep last night and my life is fantastic. She only woke once for a feed. And Obi's working overtime tonight so I bought myself some shanks to roast for dinner. And that's all I plan to have. I must be lacking in something because I'm like must eeeeeeat meeeeat when usually I'm all "ew, gross".

On the writing front, Obi decided of his own violation to become my manager. I'm not sure what that means but he seems to be chasing up my pilot readers. So, if you're keen on reading my crap (it's fantasy) feel free to message him directly, and if he needs people he'll send it to you. Don't tell me anything about it though! It'll just make me scared.

I left this open then came back and now I don't remember... but that's plenty long (too long even!) so whatever.