I hear so many happy stories here about couples who are closing the distance, even from other countries. And then I try to figure out what it would take to do it, and the obstacles at my age with my finances look insurmountable, and the future looks bleak, even assuming that he would be able to free himself in a few years.
If I moved there, he would have to sponsor me, and, really it wouldn't be fair to expect him to handle all the expenses, even if he could. As far as a visa goes, I don't have the savings, the resources, or even the education and work background I would need to even qualify. If he moved here, I would have to sponsor him, and there's no way I could afford it, being on a fixed income on Social Security.
He keeps telling me to just stay in the NOW and enjoy what we have together on our online relationship, and not worry about the future. Well, unless he has a few miracles up his sleeve, we might have to settle for a life-long LDR, never meet, never close the distance. That's a life-sentence of loneliness. Very depressing.
Announcement
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No announcement yet.
So Depressed I Didn't Do Much of Anything Today
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You say you'll wait until the feeling blows over, but then what? Do you go back to accepting his denial of you? Being in a relationship with multiple people is okay so long as all the people are aware of it. At least how I see it. I just would hope that you're in a situation where you're cared for and valued out in the open. You do deserve that, you know
Last night I left him a few music videos on our private Facebook page, to let him know how I was feeling, and that we need to talk. We usually contact most on Facebook chat, but he messaged me today and said he can't contact for a few days because he went over on his data and has to wait for his new data plan to start, so he has no internet for now. He said he went off Wifi, too.
He always says he has more to lose than I do, but he doesn't stop to think of the major changes that would happen in my life, too. I have children and grandchildren, and a sister and her family here in the states. One of my sons has ALS, was diagnosed in 2010 and given 3-5 years to live. He's almost completely paralyzed. But who really knows how much time he has left.
We have talked about the "what ifs" and it seems to me that it would be more fair if I could move to Australia, so he could stay close to his kids. On the other hand, he says he should move here, because he doesn't want to take me away from my family. At this point, it all seems a moot point anyway, because we don't have the financial resources we need. Right now, it looks like we have an open-ended LDR, and that's hard to deal with sometimes.