I can honestly say that yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. My three months visit to England came to an end and I had to say goodbye to C once again. Obviously goodbyes are the most horrible thing in long distance relationships, but this was definitely the worst experience yet. I got used to being with him almost every day and now it's this shitty old long distance thing again. And I won't see him until December, great.
I just cried the last two nights there and barely slept at all. Usually my thing is to just shed a few tears at the airport, but now I just couldn't stop at all. The whole last week was a fight against tears even at our local Asda's.
The funniest thing is that I almost cancelled the whole thing. I was so panicked by the whole idea of having kind of a trial move and I was scared that it would somehow ruin our relationship, because the longest time of being together non-stop was around three weeks before this. I had come to terms with it until my Airbnb host cancelled my booking one day before I was bound to leave. I just became so overwhelmed with the situation that I just cried all Sunday and really wanted to just stay home and hide in a dark corner. Seems pretty ridiculous now, but I just could not think straight at all. I don't think I've had that kind of break down before and frankly, it was fairly scary.
Fortunately, I managed to collect my thoughts and was on my way then next day. These past three months have been genuinely the best experience ever and I'm so glad I made the decision to do it. I've always been sure that he is the love of my life, but now the feeling is even stronger than before. It's funny how three months usually feel so damn long, but now it has gone past so quickly that it didn't even feel any longer than our usual week long visits. I don't know how I'm going to cope with the week long visits, they must feel incredibly short now.
I'm struggling to get over the fact that he won't be here every day. We don't even have any kind of end date and I really don't know what to do. How am I supposed to go on without knowing when the heartbreaking situation will come to an end? At the moment I just feel like that I can't leave or watch him leave anymore.
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#6xxcazaxx commentedSeptember 29, 2016, 02:54 AMEditing a commentWish I had some good advice for you, because I would try and follow it myself. I have only been able to see my OH once since we started dating and coming back felt so bad, it felt like my arm had been chopped off. I would love to even have a date in mind as to when we can meet again. I was in India in May and can only afford to go out once a year. He is sitting exams to regain his expired pilots license so will be tied up with that and then getting a new job. Right now it feels like us meeting next year isn't even going to happen as I have to put in all of my annual leave requests in in January and he will probs still be sitting some of the many exams at that point so wont know what he will be doing. He assures me that he will sort something.
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#7Bee'sknees commentedOctober 1, 2016, 08:08 AMEditing a commentOriginally posted by xxcazaxx;bt38940
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#8xxcazaxx commentedOctober 15, 2016, 07:56 PMEditing a commentThanks xx
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