Hey peeps. I feel so helpless right now even with everyone on this site helping me out. And lost too on top of the helplessness. It's just I mean I love my SO so much but I mean he did cross the line and buy something for his car then got a new car all together for free apparently or I don't know it worked but anyways. To me it seems his love right now is towards his new car. Which he doesn't have yet because they are making it. He said he can save up for 7 weeks and earn back the money by working more hours but I want him to do that. Get back every single penny. I just don't want him to spend it on something. And he told me he wouldn't. Promised actually which I think is a jinx with us because he promised to come in July. ...I'm not trying to make this another downer blog but I might have to think about halfway through or more than through our 2nd year if he still hasn't come to see me then I will have to think about ending it. I really don't want to leave him because I love him so much. But I mean even Army couples see their SO's more than us. I mean they come back and fly to see their SO when they come home. I am not trying to say I want my SO to join the army because I don't it's a comparison. If you will. I just have been thinking and I really am lost right now it was like me and my SO were holding hands and walking down a beach but now a huge wave came and knocked us down. And now we are standing and wondering what's going to happen next. You know what I am trying to say? I just want him here and for us to be together and end this distance and be in the same state. Same house. Together and have a life together. It's what I dream about. Wil it become a reality? I don't know. Stick with me, to find out.