Ever feel like you just don't fit in? College :/

floridaellen started a blog post Ever feel like you just don't fit in? College :/
December 4, 2012, 06:32 PM
Ever feel like you just don't fit in? College :/

I wrote about this a little bit on the forum but I decided to make a whole blog about it because it's been on my mind a lot lately.

I feel like I don't fit in where I am now.

My college really is great. It has a great reputation for my major. It has extensive undergraduate research opportunities, something I really wanted and I am involved with. I'm in the Honors program and I get merit scholarships. I'm doing really well too I think. My cumulative GPA is a 3.95 (out of a 4.0). My semester GPA is probably going to be a 4.0. But I'm unhappy.

I had three close friends coming into this semester. The one in my major is now leaving my major in favor of Psychology, a decision I support but am sad about. The second friend transfered after her marriage and now divorce messed with her GPA. We still hang out but not as much and now that she has started to date her exhusband again the hangouts have become even less. The third friend has started ignoring my calls and texts for no reason.

I'm just unhappy. In high school I had no trouble making friends. But here, I do. I can talk to people and I do try to. But I just cannot get close to anyone even after trying. I have a few acquaintances and a few people I could sit next to if I needed to but it's not the same as having a close friend. I've been basically made fun of for quite a few things: the fact that I'm in a committed relationship, the fact that I was born and raised in New Jersey, the fact that I do well in my classes, ect. It's disheartening.

I know part of the reason I'm sad is the fact that my SO is far away. But honestly, it's not the full reason. I just feel constantly feel left out or like I don't fit in.

Did anyone else have this problem in college? I feel like I made the wrong decision going here. I really thought I would love it and logically I should. But I don't.

I wish I could transfer but I would lose basically all of my credits and that just isn't an option. I was able to skip a year of undergrad (I won't be missing out on anything - I still have grad school) and I don't want to lose that.

I'm sorry if this is hard to read. I'm upset and sort of rambling.
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13 comments
- #11
  
  floridaellen commented
  
  December 5, 2012, 05:27 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I just want to thank everyone for their replies. I cannot figure out how to quote each person but I am thankful for each and every comment!
  
  You all have given me a lot to think about. It makes me feel better to know that not everyone had that stereotypical fun college experience.
  
  I think one big thing is that I don't go clubbing or drink. I mean I go to some parties back home but that's with my SO and normally hosted by a good friend. I feel safer in that setting. Plus I really don't drink (one drink is more than enough for me) and people find that weird.
  
  I was surprised by the teasing as well. It really has made me self concious. I used to get teased a lot for how well I did in school in elementary school. I wasn't expecting it at this level.
  
  I hope this makes sense. I'm trying to study for finals and my brain is toast! Haha
- #12
  
  rach92g commented
  
  December 5, 2012, 07:56 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I am so sorry that you're feeling this way! I can't relate to your situation because I attend classes online, which you already know, but I will try to give you my best advice :/ I think (remember, this is just me thinking) that maybe it's harder to make really good, close friends in college because EVERYONE is so so busy with classwork, jobs, volunteer hours, and the list just goes on. I don't think it has anything to do with you AT ALL! You're such an amazing person, from what I know about you already, and I know that you would make a great friend to have. I just feel like it's hard for a lot of people to make friends in college due to the amount of stress that you're under, something that wasn't really there in high school. You're schedule is very busy, but maybe when you are able to find some time for volunteering you will make great friends there, or maybe you could join a very low-key club that doesn't require a lot of effort but would let you meet some new people. I know that not having your SO around can also make you feel lonely/like you don't belong. I feel this way without my SO and I still live in my hometown! Senior year of high school was really strange because it was my first year of high school without him there; if none of my friends were around, or in my classes, I felt like an outcast. He was always there for me then all of a sudden I was by myself, so it was just a transition. But if I were you, I would focus on getting through this semseter (it's almost over!), enjoy your time with family and SO over Christmas, then come into next semester with a new attitude towards things. Focus more on school than trying to find a good friend. I know it sucks not having someone there to share it with and hang out with, but I also don't want your schooling to suffer. I hope all of this is making sense. I'm just saying that I know you're going to be even more busy next semester than you were this semester so maybe you just need to focus on that first, and just let friends fall into place. And remember, you'll always have me
- #13
  
  floridaellen commented
  
  December 5, 2012, 09:05 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Thank you so much I'm so glad to have a friend like you, even if you are miles and miles away! Thanks for making me feel better
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Ever feel like you just don't fit in? College :/