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GF broke up while we are in long distance relationship. Need help please

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    GF broke up while we are in long distance relationship. Need help please

    I need some help please.

    My gf and I became a couple officially on April 2012. We met each other on Feb 2012. We were office mates. I was a border in their house because their house was near our office. I lived in their house from March to December 2012 until we resigned from work because she received her immigrant Canadian visa. She was petitioned by her aunt since 2007 and it was just approved on latter part of December 2012. She left for Canada on latter part of January 2013.

    Our relationship was doing great When she was still here in the Philippines. We love each other so much and she said that I was the only one that made her feel so much loved. She did have some past relationships. Her last relationship was a 5-year relationship which ended around January 2013 because the guy took her granted and their relationship faded.

    Since we lived on the same roof, we go to work at the same time. We eat together after office hours.

    I have a great relationship with her family. My gf and I went to a lot of dates, and few out of town trips. Before we became a couple, I ended my 9-year relationship with my first GF because my love for her faded away.

    My second GF is so emotional and sensitive. But I accept her for what she are. I love her despite of that.

    She is the eldest sibling. She grew up in a poor family. When she was still a kid, she helped her family sell food in their small eatery and in side streets. She was a working student since 1st year in college. She was raised by her strict parents who became hard on her. Because of that, my GF became strong and firm.

    When she was still here, we had few fights which started in small arguments like when I said something and she did not like it, we will feel pissed and the small fights would being. There was a time when due to my anger, I walked out. She also walked out when we were on a date. But we were able to resolve those things. We cried and forgave each other for what happened.


    She went to Canada on January 2013 as an immigrant and left her own family here in the Philippines. Her aunt in Canada filed a petition in 2005 and just got approved on December 2012. She stayed in her aunt's house in Canada. Our mode of communication is thru chatting in facebook even if I am at work and we had webchat thru skype sometimes during the weekend. We cannot do webchat every weekend because we always lose our home internet connection every weekend because the overhead fiber optic cables are being stolen literally in our area every week.

    My GF and I do chat in facebook everyday. There are times that there are arguments due to some small and big things. I noticed that almost every month before our month anniversary we had quarrels. One thing that we argue is she says that I don't have enough time for her, even though we do chat everyday even when I am at the office (Morning in Manila, Evening in Canada), it is still not enough for her. Sometimes I get guilty because my boss just sits behind my table and he can see that I am using facebook while at work.

    She wants that my full attention is with her. Even if I do multi-tasking at work, she feels sad if I will telling her that I need to finish something at work and I cannot chat with her for the mean time. I also notice that everytime we have arguments, she always resort to breaking up with me and she brings up past issues that we fought before, even if I already forget those issues and considered already done with me.

    There was a time that I told her that I am already tired, not in our relationship, but because of her usual resort of breaking up with me and bringing up of past issues everytime we have an argument.

    One of the things that we fought before was she told me that we should end our relationship and I should just focus first with my family problems. I felt hurt about it because for me I can manage to face those problems while I am in a relationship. During this argument, we are using our native language of Filipino then she suddenly spoke these words in English. Because of that I felt hurt and I told her that she is arrogant. She felt hurt about it but we were able to fix it and forgave each other.

    Another thing that we argued was about religion. We were bought Catholic but she told me she wanted to become a Born Again Christian because she already had some doubts with Catholicism and she felt that she is closer to god by being a Christian. At first I disagreed to it because it entails that we will be going to two separate churches. After some arguments, I agreed to that.

    One major argument that we had was when I told her that she should also have some time for herself and she should have some hobbies so that she wont feel very lonely in Canada and during times that we cannot do chat because of our busy schedule. I also said that she should also keep some love for herself and don't pour out all of herself to me. I told that to her because that is what I listened to the homily of the priest during my friend's wedding. The priest said that couple are still two separate individuals that have separate lives from each other, that the only things that can bring them together as a couple are understanding, love and respect.

    She perceived that differently and felt so bad. I do not have any intention that we should not be communicating anymore. She said that for her, she does not want to give her attention to any other things except for me. She told me she does not want to have any other hobbies because she just wants to give her full attention to me. We were able to fix this argument.

    Her birthday was on August 12. Three weeks before her birthday, I was already thinking of the gift that I will give to her so she will be surprised on her birthday. I bought a backpack because she told me she will moving to an apartment because her aunt treated her negatively and asked to pay her all the expenses her aunt incurred for her to petitioned to Canada. It looked like that her aunt did all that so tha she will look "kind" to their other relatives here in the Philippines.

    I also went to my GF's house here in the Philippines to talk to her mother. I asked her mother if she wants to send some of my GF's things to her. Her mother gave me some of her sandals and marathon clothes because my girlfriend is a runner. I also met her girl bestfriend to get her gift for her. I told them that these gifts will be a surprise package for her.

    I sent the package via DHL on Aug 4th and it reached the airport on Aug 6th but got stuck in the customs because I was told by DHL customer service that the items need to be cleared by the consignee. This was not told to be by the DHL store representative who I talked to and processed the package. August 12 came and she was not able to receive the package that should have been a surprise to her to make happy. More about this package later.

    During the week before her birthday, I told my GF that I want to watch the concert of Linkin Park on Aug 13th (Aug 12th in Canada). At frist she disagreed because she said it is her birthday. I told her that Linkin Park is my favorite foreign rock band of all time and it has been my favorite since high school. I told that we can celebrate her birthday before the day itself. As an alternative, I thought of making a video composed of our pictures and our theme song. I did that and posted it on her facebook account on August 12 morning (August 11 evening in Canada).

    Because of the argument about the Linkin Park concert, I told her tha I have a package for her so that she will know that I did not forget about her birthday and her happiness is still my priority. She was happy about it and we were able to fix that issue. During that week, we are very ok. We were very sweet through chat during that week and she agreed for me to go to the Linkin Park concert. We were very ok until August 9th.

    August 10th came, I planned that we wil have a chat and webchat through skype on that day and on the 11th as way to spend her birthday before the actual day. I sent her a message on Facebook but her replies were very short and cold. It is the same on Aug 11th.

    From week of Aug 12-16, we still chat on facebook but her answers are really short and cold. I asked her what is the problem and she said there is none and she was just busy.

    I tried contacting here on her cellphone thru international direct dial (IDD) but she always cancels my call. I did try for 40+ times but she does not answer the phone.

    My frustration reached its point on Aug 16 morning. I told her that I am getting stressed about her treatment and I told her that if she does not want to talk to me, she call DHL herself to sort out the delivery of the package.

    It started our argument. She said that she was busy moving her things from her aunt's house to her new apartment.


    TO BE CONT

    #2
    She did not tell me that during the days that I was asking her what is the problem. Because of that I told her that I wont be able to know about it because she does not tell me stories about her from Aug 10-15.

    She then said that she was just doing what I said to her before that she should have time for herself. (She really misinterpreted what I was trying to say about "Me" time).

    We had some verbal chat exchanges but I have not said any curses/foul words to her during the times that we have arguments.

    She ended Aug 16 without the argument being resolved.

    Aug 17 came and I read her facebook PM saying that she is already tired of our relationship. She said that we always have fights and arguments and that I easily get angry. She wants to end our relationship because she cannot take it anymore. She said that her decision was final.

    I tried to fix this argument we had. I apologized and explained my side. I tried to contact her on her phone but she won't answer it. I tried almost 40x but she really won't answer.

    I was already crying during this time and then finally, she answered the phone and agreed for us to do a webchat thru Skype. When began the chat, I started to cry a lot and could not contain myself because of the ignorance and cold treatment she showed me for the whole week. From 1PM to 4PM Manila Time (11PM to 3AM Canadian Time), I was crying while we are on chat. I could not see on her on the other end because there might be some issue with her webcam. I explained to her all but she said she will not change her mind. I explained to her that she was still what I was thinking even if I thought of going to the Linkin Park concert because I still prepared a surprise package for her and that she is still my priority. She told me that I should not admonish all these things to her. I told her that I am not admonishing her. I told her all those things for her to know that I did not taken her and her birthday for granted and that she is still my priority.

    Until her Ipod shuts off due to empty battery.

    From Aug 18 (supposed to be our Monthsary) to Aug 22, I still send messages to her via facebook encourage her to talk to me so we can fix this. She was very very angry and said that we should no longer communicate and I should stop messaging her and I should not let her friends and family be involved in our break up.

    Because of my eagerness for us to mend this, I created a video of myself explaining my side and saying my apologies. I also sang an apology song "Hard To Say Im Sorry" by Az Yet.

    But she just ignored it. She said she saw it but she would not change her mind anymore.

    I asked advices from my friends and colleagues, her mother and her girl bestfriend, as well as the Filipino girl friend she met in Canada. They told me that I should have my GF space and time because she was hurt badly. My guy friends advised me to still send short messages to her everyday for her to know that I am still here and I am willing to fix things up.

    I did not send any messages to her from Aug 22-24. But on Aug 25, I could not take it anymore and I messaged her and told her to call me once she is feeling Okay (as advised by my friends on my previous work). I did that. Her only reply was She is okay there and she is slowly fixing all her problems there.

    From Aug 26-30, I still tried to fix things up with her. I created a handwritten letter with design of a kneeling guy in front of her girl. She saw the card I took photo and uploaded in our facebook conversation. Her only reply was ""I really can't accept your love anymore. I do accept the apologies but this who I am, when I finally have decided to move on it's all done.. No turning back.."

    I still tried to pursue her and apologized to her.

    I also offered her if we can meet somewhere else like Hongkong so that the airfare wont be that expensive compared to the Philippines.

    Here's our translated conversation:

    ---------------------------------
    Me:

    I cannot afford to lose you..

    You are my life..

    You are the one that I only love and I already consider you as my wife..My life became happier when I met you and when we became together..

    i really do apologize for all mistakes that i have done to you my love..I already consider you my better half..

    I have realized all the hurt that you experienced because of my mistakes

    i cannot imagine my life without you mahal ko..

    please give me one last chance to prove it to you..let me prove myself and my love to you for the very last time..my love..

    GF:

    It's hard to because we are far away from each other and there is no way you can do it. There is no more chance for our relationship. We both had so much from it

    You can live you life without me, you can even do things to make you happy even without me

    Me:

    I will do all that I can to save our relationship. I won't give up.

    I want you in my life because you fill in all the emptiness in me. My life is incomplete without you

    Can we meet somewhere else?

    I want to be with you because I miss you much. I want this fix this my love...

    GF:

    That's what's wrong there. Before you enter a relationship, you should already be complete. You should not rely on your partner for your to be complete. Once and for all, I'm putting an end on this. I chose this decision and should stand on it. We shouldn't communicate again cause I know it wouldn't help you forget me. Thank you for everything. I'm better being alone and I know I can do more things on my own cause before I entered our relationship, I'm already complete and didn't ask or require you to complete me.

    I know your life would be better without me.

    Without me you'll be fine.

    You can always do whatever you want. no one is going to control you. You will no longer blame my selfishness for me wanting to talk to you always.

    Goodbye...

    TO BE CONT

    Comment


      #3
      -----------------------------------------------
      That was her last message on Aug 28.

      I still tried to pursue her. I posted photos of cats that are apologizing because she loves cats but she just ignored it.

      -----------------------------
      My message on Aug 31:

      I am praying to God that we can still fix this problem we are facing right now in our relationship..

      For all the things I said that you got offended, I really apologize and I hope you can forgive me..I am only human making mistakes but it does not mean that I wont change for good

      I understand you and I have trust in you because I love you so much.

      I hope you also understand me

      I love you very much my ___ and I really love you from the bottom of my heart.

      Trust to each other, understanding, and unconditional love are needed for a relationship to last. Two people will make a relationship work. It's a give and take relationship.

      I will give you the space that you need for you to think it over. I will just be here waiting for you until we are back together.

      i am still hopeful to overcome these obstacles that our relationship is facing right now.

      if all else fails, it just means that we are not destined for each other

      I love you very much with all my heart and soul.

      Take care always.

      PS. Let's make love, not war.

      -----------------------------
      Her message on September 1 morning:

      GF:

      I never asked for space, I never asked anything for us to make things work between us. I said our relationship is already over. When I decided to stop
      this relationship, I also told you that I am not giving you any hopes that I will still return to this relationship. I thought you already know me. I dont hold back. war just so you know.

      -----------------------------

      Her message on Sunday Night in Manila, Saturday morning in canada - Sept 1:

      GF:

      You are saying/thinking that 3rd party is the reason for me leaving, it's not true. It hurts that you told me a lot of accusations while we are in a relationship even outside the relationship I am already a broken individual. All the daggering words I got from you are enough for me to end this relationship and because you lost your respect for me. I AM SINGLE AND HAPPY. I no longer have stress here in Canada. Just to let you know, my family is very supportive and they did not give my any additional problems. I only had too much stress when Im still in our relationship. Honestly, the last time I talked to you via SKype did not help and it still pissed me off because our people are getting involved. You also know that I am afraid if you are angry, but you still showed me how you act when you are angry and what you showed to your father, you threw the chair, you shouted and cried loudly. I was so afraid of what I saw and I asked myself if you are the <my name> that I met. It is very far from the friendly <my name>. If you want to be friends with me, it wont happen right now because it wont help for you to move on.


      19:37

      GF:
      One more thing, my family didnt know about our plans of weddning next year because I do my decisions on my own and I dont wanna let other people control it.

      I am responsible for my own life. I've come up with that decision without considering them. I don't send them money for no reason at all. The last time was on fathers day because it is important for me to save for us. All for our relationship.

      19:46
      GF:
      This saving is for us because that's how I how I really want to be with you but my aspirations are gone. As days and months passes, I greatly felt that I was not your priority. That you have more important things that you can and want to do instead of talk to me. Instead, you dont want me to give all my time for you, you said that I should also have time for some hobbies. I already told you before that I am not like that because I am happy just to talk to you. That is very important for me but still pushed for you to be busy of other things. That is what I am doing now, I am enjoying my own life without the expense of others. Before I break up with you, I already thought about this that is why I was gone for few days because I weighed it. That was the space for me think about it


      19:49
      GF:

      I also told to myself, I can live on my own. I can be happy on my own without depending on someone else. I know I'm a strong person, i know what i want in my life, i have goals and dreams that i want to fulfill, I'm a complete person and should not be sad being alone cause I know God will always be with me.


      19:53
      GF:
      I loved you so much more than my own life and I hope you felt it

      20:09
      Me:
      No day in my life I thought of you having any 3rd pary. I only told your bestfriend what my other friend (whom I asked advice from) told me. I never in my life thought about that on you because I have so much trust on you

      19:54
      Me:
      Because of the so much pain that I was and still feeling, I broke down on Aug 17. My godmother and cousin went to our house to check me because they heard my loud cry. I was not able to noticed it because I was really crying hard because I was extremely hurt of all that happened.

      19:55
      Me:
      I got carried away by the situation because my father was also shouting at me when he saw me crying so hard. THey are not involved in our relationship.
      Even during the times that I was angry, I cannot hurt you physically. I admit all the mistakes I did and words that made you feel bad

      20:00
      GF:
      You did say that that I might have another lover.

      It is here in our conversation thread.

      You said it directly to me

      One more thing, in addition for you being hot headed, your pride is off the charts

      TO BE CONT

      Comment


        #4
        *****She posted a screenshot of the message with the words*********

        "I am not sure if it was true. Then I also saw their photos with her girl friend where they went out on a date on Aug.6. Here's her reply, Thank you for the package but we should stop communicating. You wont have your own life"


        *****I posted this wrongly to our conversation thread in Facebook. I was talking to my friend here but we were not talking about 3rd party. We were talking about International Collect Calls. The line in the message that I told my friend "I am not sure if it was true" is about collect calls because my GF told me that I should not call her anymore on her mobile phone because she is the one being charged for that even though I am the one that calls her. I also told my friend that I saw the pictures of my gf and her girl friend when they went out on Aug 6 directly from the facebook account of her friend. My gf misinterpreted that message******************

        20:02
        Me:
        If ever I said that, I am not accusing you that you have another man

        20:03
        GF:
        Because there are lot of times that when we had fights, I am already lowering my pride but you still continue on your rant even if I am already saying sorry and admitting the fault just to end the argument but still continue

        You wouldn't come up with that reason if you don't think that i have someone new

        20:04
        Me:
        You perceive me as a very bad person that wont change anymore. I though you forgave me for all my mistakes before but you hold grudges


        20:05
        GF:
        I already have forgiven you, I just want to make clear why I broke up with you.

        20:05
        Me:
        I never doubted you even before. I just shared to your bestfriend what was told to me by my other friend.
        I cannot do anything if you don't want to believe me because that's what yoku believe.

        20:31
        Me:
        I know you know that we chat on FB everyday. You also know that we lose our internet connection almost every weekend that is why we cannot do skype. I dont want to argue anymore because you have a different perception on what I said about time for self.

        You are always my priority. I did all things for you to be happy on your birthday but it became a problem. On Aug 9 we were very okay and you even send a video for me. I also told you that we can even celebrate your birthday before the day itself but you did not want to talk to me on Aug 10 or 11 and we miss the opportunity for us to do Skype


        20:32
        GF:
        I also dont want to argue about that anymore. I cannot see other messages in this thread but based from what I have here, you are talking to someone here and you have doubt for me


        20:32
        Me:
        i still hold on to the promise to each other that we will be surpass all trials that we will face and I will wait for your return here in the Philippines

        20:34
        GF:
        I just explained to you the reason why I broke up with you because I dont want you to think of bad things about me. That's my only intention and you dont need to start a fight with me again because now you are getting angry again

        20:34
        Me:
        I was talking to my friend during that time. I saw your pictures with your friend and I saw that directly from you account. I am just telling that story to my friend and that's it. I am not doubting you

        20:34
        GF:
        I am enough of your admonishment. Yes you exert effort on me but I received a lot of admonishment from you.

        TO BE CONT

        Comment


          #5
          20:35
          Me:
          What I was pertaining in that message with the line "I am not sure if it was true" is about the Collect calls that you are the ones being charged even though I am the one that calls you. I am not admonishing you. I am just saying that I am doing all that I can for our relationship.

          I am not doubting you that there is a 3rd party if that is that is what you think that is my reason for your breaking up with me

          20:38
          GF:
          I's alright. I already accepted that our relationship is over.

          20:40
          Me:
          I really cant believe we are reaching this point. I never doubted you because I have so much trust in you

          20:45
          GF:
          I remember something i said bout trust and respect.

          I mentioned that because you said that you doubted me

          20:47
          Me:
          I am really sad because you hold grudges and you cant forget the mistakes that I already felt sorry before

          You always see my mistakes and you dont forget them

          20:48
          GF:
          It's enough. There is no need for further explanatoin because we are already done for almost two weeks already.

          20:49
          Me:
          It's very sad to know that we are reaching this point

          20:49
          GF:
          You should not push that anymore, that because of grudges this decision was created from that current situation

          So long, Farewell for now and this might become another longer argument. All we have to do is move on and accept things as it is.

          20:51
          Me:
          you really cannot forgive me and forget all the mistakes that i have done and issues that i thought we already resolved before

          20:51
          GF:
          I dont want to argue please

          20:51
          Me:
          you hold so much grudges and I am very said that this is happening to our relationship

          If you ever truly loved me, you should have forgave and forgotten and moved forward and the past issues should not be brought back again.

          20:54
          Me: :'(

          20:55
          GF:

          Nope, i don't. I'm happy now. For the last time, i wanna say thank you for everything. I wish you luck in your career. God bless and may God guide you to be much better person. Good bye

          20:55
          Me:
          i admit all the mistakes i have done and take full responsibility of them

          i am human and i commit mistakes and it does not mean i will be like this for the rest of my life

          10:45
          GF:
          "If you ever truly loved me, you should have forgave and forgotten and moved forward and the past issues should not be brought back again."

          I will answer this:
          Please do not question my love for you before. Cause i know i did my very best for you to feel it.

          About change, yea that's better but you should just work on it before entering any relationship. For us, it's all done. I wish you would find someone else who will love you the way you want it to be

          21:26
          Me:
          yes you did love me very much and i felt it so much

          ---------------
          I am sorry for the very long story. Because of my desperation to fix things up, I did search some tips over the net.

          I am very sad because we were already engaged on Nov 2012 and we were planning to marry next year when she comes back

          I never thought that she will have another man there because I have so much trust on her. But she did tell me before that there was a Filipino guy who is married and her colleague in Mcdonalds but she did not entertain and she did ignore that guy. She also have a new job in Canada. She is now an IT Personnel in a head office of a supermarket there

          I still continued on messaging here, sending some videos of me talking since September 1 but she never had any reply.

          I went to their house here in the Philippines on Sept 7 because it was her father's birthday. I brought a cake for her and for her father. Her mother told me that my GF sees my message but does not reply because she cannot do it because she still had hard feelings for me. But her mother told me that her daughter was asking her if I still text her mother.

          I am planning to send flowers for delivery or will it just be a waste of my time and money?

          What should I do? Should I still message her or should I just let go of her?

          I love her so much and I really want still to fix this

          PS: I am already din the restricted list in her Facebook account. I am really really sad...

          Comment


            #6
            I know this isn't probably what you want to hear... But it takes two to be in a relationship. No matter how much you continue to "pursue" her, no matter how many times you reiterate your love, her firmness is clearly unrelenting regarding the break up. You can't MAKE her re-enter what once was.

            It's time to start collecting up the pieces and move on. No more messages, no more packages or flowers, no more contact, period. If YOU love her, you will respect this decision. It won't be easy, it never is. But you need to let go - not only for her sake, but for your own. Don't hold out for her. It's not fair to you.

            Comment


              #7
              ''If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.''
              I believe there is some truth to this saying. Let her go. If she loves you she'll come back.
              "If you say you can't, you just don't want to"

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Goyangi View Post
                I know this isn't probably what you want to hear... But it takes two to be in a relationship. No matter how much you continue to "pursue" her, no matter how many times you reiterate your love, her firmness is clearly unrelenting regarding the break up. You can't MAKE her re-enter what once was.

                It's time to start collecting up the pieces and move on. No more messages, no more packages or flowers, no more contact, period. If YOU love her, you will respect this decision. It won't be easy, it never is. But you need to let go - not only for her sake, but for your own. Don't hold out for her. It's not fair to you.

                Goyangi, I very much appreciate your time and effort to read and comment on my long story.

                I think I really need to accept what had happened and let her go even if it is really hard.

                Thank you for the advice.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by SJ22 View Post
                  ''If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.''
                  I believe there is some truth to this saying. Let her go. If she loves you she'll come back.
                  Thank you SJ22 for your time and effort to read and comment on my story.

                  I think I need to move forward now and remind myself of the mistakes I have done so I will be better next time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    It WILL be hard, but you have the opportunity right now to learn from this relationship, and make it out as a stronger person than you were when you entered in it. Focus on yourself. You DO deserve that!

                    Heartbreak is devastating, but no matter how devastated I thought I was, I can't regret it because it has brought me where I am today, and has made me able to love my current SO that much better. There's someone out there, waiting for you to learn what you have to until you're ready for them. Good luck. (:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Goyangi View Post
                      It WILL be hard, but you have the opportunity right now to learn from this relationship, and make it out as a stronger person than you were when you entered in it. Focus on yourself. You DO deserve that!

                      Heartbreak is devastating, but no matter how devastated I thought I was, I can't regret it because it has brought me where I am today, and has made me able to love my current SO that much better. There's someone out there, waiting for you to learn what you have to until you're ready for them. Good luck. (:
                      I think this is really a wake up call for me. I need to think about of myself this time and do a lot of improvements. Thank you again Goyangi!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Hey, how are you feeling now?

                        I understand that separation is always painful, and I do not expect you to recover anytime soon. But it's totally okay.
                        Take your time to slowly arrange your life. Don't send her anymore gifts, resist the temptation to contact her. Judging from her response, it will only worsen things.

                        It is always hard to break from a habit. When you wake up in the morning, you have her in your mind. You message her everyday. Now it's gone.
                        Of course you will crave for it. But think of it as quitting smoking. It is always hard and needs many many many efforts, in the end it will be for your better.

                        In my opinion, there problem did not start when she moved to Canada. It's somewhere before that. Those little arguments and mistakes had built up, and it exploded just recently. Women do forgive, but they don't forget.

                        Do some self-introspection and take this experience as a lesson for your future relationship (it can be with a new person or back with her).
                        To be honest, I am somewhere between the two of you. At one point I can understand her way of thinking and why she made that decision, at another point I totally know how you feel right now. Strange, I am..

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by aoinu99 View Post
                          Hey, how are you feeling now?

                          I understand that separation is always painful, and I do not expect you to recover anytime soon. But it's totally okay.
                          Take your time to slowly arrange your life. Don't send her anymore gifts, resist the temptation to contact her. Judging from her response, it will only worsen things.

                          It is always hard to break from a habit. When you wake up in the morning, you have her in your mind. You message her everyday. Now it's gone.
                          Of course you will crave for it. But think of it as quitting smoking. It is always hard and needs many many many efforts, in the end it will be for your better.

                          In my opinion, there problem did not start when she moved to Canada. It's somewhere before that. Those little arguments and mistakes had built up, and it exploded just recently. Women do forgive, but they don't forget.

                          Do some self-introspection and take this experience as a lesson for your future relationship (it can be with a new person or back with her).
                          To be honest, I am somewhere between the two of you. At one point I can understand her way of thinking and why she made that decision, at another point I totally know how you feel right now. Strange, I am..
                          Last week I sent flowers to her office in Canada and she received it and she messaged me on Facebook..That was her first message to me after almost a month of not replying to me. She said that she received the flowers and said thank you.

                          I went to her family's house here in the Philippines last Saturday to bring the package she sent to my house. She sent it on Aug 4 when we were still okay and just arrived last week as well. It is for her family and her gift to me for our anniversary last April because she was not able to sent one during that time. I talked to her mother and her mother said that my GF will be contacting me thru skype once I get home. When I got home. she did message me but we were not able to do skype. Are you a filipino? I will post our conversation here if you want. She said that her decision was really final and said a lot of bad feelings for me. She asked me to accept her decision of breaking up with me. I finally said that I am respecting her decision and asked her if we can still be friends. She said yes but informed me not to contact her family anymore esp. her mother because she said her mother is getting stressed out because of our break up. I asked her mother and her mother said that it is okay for me to text her but I wont do that anymore since my GF asked me to. I sent her friendly messages yesterday an earlier today but she still has not replied to me. Her mother also said that my GF took another 4hour job right after her 8am to 5pm. Because of that, she arrives every 12 midnight in her apartment. Her mother and I are not in approval of her decision to have another work because we want her to have enough rest. I guess she did that so she wont have time for me anymore..

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                            #14
                            She is trying to move on, If you do love her, leave her and her family be. You need to mourn the loss and eventually you can find someone that is better suited for you and that will treat you as you deserve and be equally invested in a relationship with you as you are with them.
                            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                            Benjamin Franklin

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                              #15
                              Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
                              She is trying to move on, If you do love her, leave her and her family be. You need to mourn the loss and eventually you can find someone that is better suited for you and that will treat you as you deserve and be equally invested in a relationship with you as you are with them.
                              This. She's moving on with her life and she's doing what she has to. What you approve or do not approve of her doing as far anything is concerned is no longer your concern. Neither of you are dating each other anymore and I would recommend that you respect that and her feelings about your contacting her family. Because if you don't you may lose her all together and I would also probably forgo calling her your girlfriend anymore. She's not. You need to give yourself some time away from her and let yourself move on from this.

                              ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

                              We Met: June 9,2010
                              Back Together: August 1,2012
                              First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
                              Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
                              Engaged: January 17,2013
                              Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
                              Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
                              We Got Married! - July 3,2014
                              SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
                              Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

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