Speedbumps

[afterthestorm]

Hi all,

My SO is *hopefully* coming over to live with me next month, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I think I have a healthy level of fear that I'll screw it up in some way. With this in mind I wanted the advice of other people who have started in a long distance relationship and closed the gap; what issues did you have? What can I do to make the move easier on her? I'm looking for good and bad, anything that can help me to make this work.

As a bit of background if it helps, I'm in England and my love is moving over from Canada. We met while teaching abroad, but were both in other relationships, when they ended we got into contact again over Facebook, Skype etc and over the course of a few months have confirmed what we suspected, that we were perfect for each other.

Looking forward to your replies

[greensweatergirl]

Hmm...well, I have a sneaking suspicion your love would appreciate it if you had a tub of cherry cheese ice cream in the freezer ready for her, because it's super delicious and all that. Also, I think you should book a walking tour of your town ASAP, because she'll probably be nervous about not knowing where anything is, and since you'll be working sometimes, it would be great if she knew where everything was so she could do things for herself instead of feeling like she has to be dependent on you. Be nice to her if it takes her a while to find a job, and realize she's scared that it will go worse for her than it already is in her own country because she thinks people will want to hire an English person over her. Hug her a lot. Kiss her a lot. Watch those hilarious English comedies with her that cheer her up when she gets down. Maybe, if you're so inclined, explain to your friends that it's important to include her, at least until she can find friends of her own, because she has you and only you when she gets to England.

Also, you should totally book an appearance by Matt Smith at your house. I hear girls like that Doctor Who stuff.

(You are so sweet darling!)

[flugelhorn]

Speaking from experience as a girl who moved to the UK from Canada (only for 6 months, not permanently, but still) have her bring lots of maple syrup!
& try your best to find cheese curds to make real poutine. :-)
Also, where do you live in the UK? I know a Tim Hortons opened in London in March. All Canadians crave Tim Hortons. The donuts in the UK Tim Hortons don't taste as good but it helped with my homesickness.
Also, make sure your internet is fast enough for Skyping because she will want to do lots of that to tell her family back home about her new life.

I also like all the suggestions above me. :-) Good luck!

[BlueCat]

Just be as accommodating as you can at the beginning, make sure there's space for all her stuff and go out lots of places. It doesn't have to be expensive, but if she's not going to be driving for a while, the only time she's going to be able to get out of the house is when you both go somewhere. Unless there's good public transport etc, but public transport in a new city can be pretty daunting. Otherwise, in terms of living together, keep in mind that you are going to get under each others feet from time to time, so take the time to talk out any issues, if you argue, always make up afterwards to know that there's no hard feelings. Just respect each other's space etc.

[afterthestorm]

flugelhorn and bluecat thank you, this is exactly the kind of thing I need. Especially the Tim Hortons that will definitely help. I still have a big pot of French Vanilla from my last trip to Canada so that should keep her going for a while! I'm off to the farm shop tomorrow to search for cheese curds, I live in hope.

greensweatergirl, you can't just post the things you actually want me to do :P thats cheating! I'll make sure I have good ice cream though. Love you x