Who closed the distance?

[mlestoll]

Did you, or your SO close the distance?

[Trethsparr]

I moved to be with him because he's finishing up his last year of college.

[mllebamako]

This is kind of a confusing poll. Shouldn't it be: "Who closed the distance" a. "I did" b. "Not yet" or something? Or are you asking if it was a male or female partner who moved?

Anyway, I did close the distance, I moved to be with him. So I guess I'll answer "female".

[Trethsparr]

This is kind of a confusing poll. Shouldn't it be: "Who closed the distance" a. "I did" b. "Not yet" or something? Or are you asking if it was a male or female partner who moved?

Anyway, I did close the distance, I moved to be with him. So I guess I'll answer "female".

Yeah, I'm guessing that the pollster is asking if the person who ended up moving was male or female.

[Zephii]

In some relationships, there's two girls, or two boys. Just saying.

Uhm, we both did. I moved to him, then he moved to me. Eventually I'll move to him again. We're chosing not to settle in one place

[lucybelle]

Yeah I think this poll should have been thought out a little better...

But anyways, my SO first closed the distance with me, then I moved down to him. So I put "male" since he moved first.

[mlestoll]

I know that there are male male and female female relationships, but in those relationships there is still the 'man' or 'woman'. I just wanted to see if men were still chivalrous, because the guy I had dated didn't initiate any form of closing the distance, and I didn't know if it was normal for the woman to make all of those plans.

[13000km]

I know that there are male male and female female relationships, but in those relationships there is still the 'man' or 'woman'. I just wanted to see if men were still chivalrous, because the guy I had dated didn't initiate any form of closing the distance, and I didn't know if it was normal for the woman to make all of those plans.

I don't think who moved to who is a sign of the men being chivalrous, it wholly depends on the situation. For my boyfriend and I, cost of living in the States is a lot lower than the cost of living in Singapore. Since whichever one of us moves would very possibly be without a job, cost of living was a very important part of the decision making for us. Also, universities in Singapore were a lot harder to get into, and a lot more expensive for international students. We wouldn't have been able to afford renting an apartment for just him in Singapore...and the list goes on.

Closing the distance isn't something one person in the relationship decides, it has to be discussed, planned out and compromised on. It's more than a matter of who moves to who and can sometimes involve both parties moving somewhere new together. One party should not be making all the plans, there are plenty of planning the person who is not moving can make, such as apartment hunting, financial planning, etc. I suggest you bring the topic up with your SO, and make sure he is on the same track as you and ready to take the necessary steps to close the distance, whichever way it may be.

[Sierra]

I'll be moving to him. It seems like the best choice for both of us.

[dukes2011]

My boyfriend and I have not closed the distance yet but we will probably not end up in my hometown or his hometown. My area is on the rural side so there aren't a lot of jobs for music teachers and his area is SUPER expensive to start out in. Did/Will anyone else have this situation too?

[Alemap]

I think gender shouldn't factor into it - who ever has less to bind them where they are is the person who should move.
For example, both partners have friends where they live, and family, but one just left/wants to leave their job or is less close to their family/friends, then if all other factors are equal, if someone has to move, it should be that person.
The person who will be sacrificing less by moving is the person who ought to move, I feel.

[kiara_silver]

For us we been talking, about closing the distance. For his side, he has more stability for us if we move there, he has a job and work, and the medical is free there and he thinks i could find work easier there too. And here it would be hard for us to find work, but I have more family here then he does. He has his parents and brother there, but they might be moving soon. So it would just be us. Here I have my parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, just a ton, family is big. So moving away and leaving everyone. There's a lot to factor in for where we decided. Over all we have to think where we will be happiest.

[Sora1101]

My SO will be moving to get out of his parents house and to be closer to some friends and then I will be moving to him so I guess that means I close the distance. It's not about chivalry it's just that it's easier for me to go to him, I'll be fresh outta high school so I have nothing holding me here where as he's working with his friends so he needs to be close by them.

[yayagrl]

Though I'm not in a same sex relationship, I think this poll singles the ones who are out. I hope you decide to change it as it can be seen as offensive OP. Your statement about there still being a "man or woman" in the relationship is also offensive. That being said I will more than likely move to Colorado to be with him if and when we get to that stage

[mllebamako]

I know that there are male male and female female relationships, but in those relationships there is still the 'man' or 'woman'. I just wanted to see if men were still chivalrous, because the guy I had dated didn't initiate any form of closing the distance, and I didn't know if it was normal for the woman to make all of those plans.

It has nothing to do with chivalry. LDRs (especially international ones) are very complicated to end and can't just be simplified into, "Did the man do his "duty" by moving?".

I (female) moved to my SO (male). This was the right choice for us because of visas, cost of living, his vs my easy of mobility, etc, etc. I was also the one who brought up the conversation more and took more initiative. But this is because I am more of the planner and practical one in the relationship.