I can't decide what to do, help?

[Sora1101]

Well yesterday I took a placement test for college because I'll be finishing high school in a few months, turns out that I scored so high on the test that I automatically qualified for the presidential scholarship which pretty much covers the costs of my classes but here's the thing, I never intended to go to college right away or here in this state, I was just doing all of this to get my parents off my back but now that I qualify for the scholarship my parents won't let me not go to college, so what do I do? I want to close the distance with my SO, not be stuck here for at least another 2 years. I tried telling my mom that I didn't want to go but she pretty much said too bad, you're going. I'm 18 and I can technically do whatever I want in regards to moving but I don't want to disappoint them. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and my SO won't help me with this decision, he doesn't want to influence me or make the decision for me but I honestly don't know what to do. Another two years would mean 5 years LD and with the way our visits are I get one weekend visit a year. I just can't deal with that anymore.

[Haley53]

I agree with your parents, but that's because I value my education and also understand that to do anything, you need a degree.

I would look at this situation, as best as you can, in terms of what would be best for you? You say you hadn't planned on going to college immediately or going to college in-state, but would that change your plan if you didn't have your SO to think about? How do you plan on financing college in the future? With the way tuition is, and at the rate it's going up up up, I honestly think it'd be a foolish decision to turn down the scholarship. There's also the logistics of actually closing the distance to begin with. Where does your SO live? What's employment like? What kind of job do you think you're going to score with nothing more than a high school diploma? Here, the economy is so bad that you can have experience and it doesn't beat out someone with a degree. The way we're progressing, you unfortunately need more and more higher education to score the job. Frankly, it seems like you'd be throwing away an awful lot. Yes, the distance is hard, and it must be terrible to only see him a weekend a year, but honestly, I've never been one to believe in sacrificing real opportunities for the sake of love. I think you'd regret it, ultimately, and maybe I'm wrong, but I think you're making a hasty decision based on the distance which I should hope would be workable. In college, you'll have a lot more independence than in high school. You'll have school vacations which you could see about spending with your SO. Personally, I think you're lucky to have gotten the scholarship and I think you need to make a decision based on your future and what's best for you in the long-run, not based on a guy.

[Sora1101]

I do see your point but the area in which my SO lives it is mostly people with only a high school education so I'd be able to find a job fairly easily or at least wouldn't necessarily have to be worried about being beaten out by someone with a higher level education. As far as actually getting a degree I was going to start school as soon as I could claim residency in NY where my SO lives so that I could attend a community college near where we'd be living, and even before I met my SO I wasn't planning on going to college here, I hate where I live to the extreme and have always dreamed of getting out of this place, I was going to attend an out of state college but with the price of tuition going up like you said, I was going to settle for a community college in a different state anyway. I honestly do see the point in getting a higher education and believe me I'm taking this very seriously, I do understand how great an opportunity this is for me which is why I'm asking for everyone's opinions, I know I'll most likely end up using my scholarship, I'm just really struggling with this because I'd been planning to move in with my SO for nearly 2 years now and being so close to this dream after such a long wait, it's heart wrenching. At the moment I've asked my SO to consider moving here for the two years I'd be attending college and then we could move back to NY but he has a job he loves out there and he's struggling with money so moving would be difficult for him.

[Tooki]

Would you be able to apply to schools in NY and see what offers come your way? Worst comes to worst, you always have the scholarship to fall back on.

Also is it possible to transfer after a year or two? Or do you need to complete the degree in your state to maintain eligiblity for the scholarship?

[Sora1101]

The scholarship only applies to in state colleges and only covers me until I get my degree, I could and probably would get accepted into NY schools but I wouldn't be able to afford the crazy high out of state tuition which is why I was going to wait to declare residency so that the prices would drop.

[Zephii]

I think it's a great idea for him to come to you. Maybe your parents might even be willing to help with that if it meant you'd go to college

[keypatalina]

I think if you'd be getting a college education for free, you'll regret not taking it...especially with the way the economy is now. You're young and banking on only having a high school education because of the area your SO lives in now, what if he moves or it doesn't work out? Then you'lll be stuck with a high school education and won't be able to get a decent job, I mean look at the economy...there are people with masters degrees that can't get a job. Maybe he can save up to move to you? Idk, I just value education a lot and really don't think you can go far without a college degree (Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerburg notwithstanding).

[CynicalQuixotic]

The scholarship only applies to in state colleges and only covers me until I get my degree, I could and probably would get accepted into NY schools but I wouldn't be able to afford the crazy high out of state tuition which is why I was going to wait to declare residency so that the prices would drop.

Have you looked into financial aid? If not, this is a great place to start: https://www.fafsa.ed.gov/

The government gives aid money based on "need"--which is a sort of nebulous term--but it's quite possible that they could give you enough money in grants and/or loans to be able to finance an education in New York. The SUNY system is pretty extensive; you'll get a good education.

It's imperative that you get a college degree in this cultural economy. Unless you plan on becoming a plumber/electrician or inheriting some sort of pre-set up family business, there's really no other way to make a real living in this country. People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were living in a completely different economic and cultural climate, you can't really compare.

I know money matters are never easy, but I think you should give financial aid a try before giving up on going to school in New York completely.

[Tooki]

Listen to her ^^^

Off-topic: In the US, do you pay different tuition rates if you are a resident of the state or from interstate?

[princessmeg1328]

Off-topic: In the US, do you pay different tuition rates if you are a resident of the state or from interstate?

Yes, f you go to uni in a state different from the one you have residency in, tuition is a lot higher.

I think if you really want to go to to school in New York, then you should definitely look into getting other scholarships and into financial aide. The site that CynicalQuixotic is definitely the place to go to to find out about financial aide. Google for website that'll help you find scholarships or even just for scholarships. I would recommend just applying for scholarship after scholarship. Even if you don't meet all of the requirements, I would still apply because a lot of people are still not applying for scholarships. There's a lot of money out there. You just have to look for it. If you can prove that you can fund schooling in New York, maybe your parents won't give you such a hard time. Just make sure you go to school. Education is a very valuable thing to have.

[Bethypoo]

I assume the scholarship is school or state specific. Like some of the other above me, I do agree with your parents as education is so important. And getting a scholarship will make things cheaper and college is ridiculously expensive. Especially going out of your home state.

Most scholarships can be used when you need it... is that not possible here? Have you looked into it?

I dont know, I sound hypocritical as 5 years IS a long time to be LD and I would want to close the distance to. But you are 18 and you are still young. If it is meant to be another few years wont matter. Besides, maybe use up the scholarship $$ at a school your parents approve of and then when that $$ is gone transfer to where your SO is. Just a suggestion.

Good luck!

[Sora1101]

The scholarship will only hold for a newly high school graduate so I wouldn't be able to hold on to it and then return later. But I do want to say thank you for your opinions, I'm pretty sure I'm going to take the scholarship, like you guys said education is important so I guess my SO and I will have to see what can be done about him coming here. Thanks again

[Moon]

Sora, I'm so glad to hear that! The one thing that can never be taken away from you is your education, and getting it without being epically in debt when you finish is priceless. 5 years does seem long, but in the bigger scope of things, it's nothing, and you'll never regret it You've made a wise and mature decision.

[Sora1101]

Thanks for your reply Moon, my SO and I have both decided that my education was too important so I'll definitely be going and we'll just have to work on long distance a bit longer or trying to get him down here. Still a long road ahead but I'm glad my SO is so understanding about all of this. All of you guys really set my mind straight and I appreciate it tons.

[Larvitar]

Go for your degree, seriously. Your education will define your future.

Your SO will understand