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If I Can Get Through This, I Can Get Through Anything ♫

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    If I Can Get Through This, I Can Get Through Anything ♫

    Once upon a time...

    There was a boy,


    and a girl.


    He lived in Dublin, Ireland, and she lived in the bay area of California (image is linked to the source. Consider it citing an image!).


    They met on a popular TeenHelp site in February of 2009. They were both there for similar reasons, similar problems, and both there for somebody else. It was the similarity of their situations that bonded them together, yet for a while, they stayed within distances of the other. They responded to one another's threads, sometimes with advice, sometimes for support, but they understood, and that was enough. But it wouldn't be enough forever. They both had danced around the idea of sending off a PM or writing a VM to the other, but both were intimidated, so they resorted to reading one another's threads and sharing words on the boards - until she balls'ed up and contacted him. As perhaps with most everyone here, who contacted their SO in a similar way, you can imagine how anxious the girl felt about whether or not he would write her in response. :P

    Well, he did, and their correspondance on the site turned into correspondance through MSN which led into befriending one another on Facebook. The boy and the girl, they talked for ages. Generally they talked about their problems. They related on levels no one understood and maybe they didn't even entirely understand it either, but it helped, having someone there who got it, and that was what mattered. This was their relationship for a while, sharing their independent lives, the happenings within those lives, the problems within those lives, but never going really any further than that. And yet still, the girl started to develop a liking for the boy. Within a month, she had begun to crush on him, and she was crushing hard. Of course she would never admit this! Not when he still had someone in his life, at the time, and not when he expressed the opinions that he had on LDRs.

    Cue the girl moving on to date someone else, with the boy always in the very corners of her mind but trying not to pay any mind to it. Why worry about someone with whom it won't go anywhere? He could not be the reason she never met new people or dated around! The unfortunate thing, though, is due to whatever reason, they ended up falling somewhat out of contact as the relationship progressed, only reconnecting over the summer. She was still with her then-boyfriend, and she was planning a trip to London. She did not know this, but the boy harboured feelings of jealousy; he did very well at hiding them from her and remaining somewhat disconnected. Her first night in London, her then-boyfriend left to go spend time with his friends. She was exhausted and jet lagged and alone, in an apartment she'd never been in a country she'd never been the first time she'd been on a holiday alone, and she was miserable. She hopped online for company and lo and behold, the boy was there. He consoled her and was there for her and kept her company until they both retired. It meant more to her than she expressed to the boy at the time.

    Flash forward and the girl is broken up with her ex, and the boy is on wishy-washy terms with his. The girl becomes increasingly jealous until she can't stand hearing about her anymore, and she tells him so. She does not tell him why. Not a month later, she finally confesses her feelings because she feels she owes him the explanation. "I have always been very fond of you," she says, and the girl is embarrassed. She feels vulnerable and stupid, especially since she's still at this point convinced that the boy felt nothing for her. To her surprise, he responded, "I have always been very fond of you too." It was not at all what she expected, but then he delivered the crushing blow that he had no intentions of taking the relationship anywhere. "For obvious reasons." The girl drops her feelings, but still feels liberated having told him.

    The next few months are filled with conversations that seem to lengthen by the second, to the point neither one of them is sleeping much. The flattery is becoming more apparent, the feelings more evident, and the affection more blatant. By late January/February, they are already talking about the fact that they feel there's an unspoken commitment between them. The boy does not want to make it official, and though it somewhat bothers the girl (she'd been here before), she lives with the situation. She won't wait forever, but she would wait until he was ready. 8 April 2011, they made it official. They had their first visit - their first meeting - four months later, in August.

    It was everything the girl had wished for.




    They connected almost immediately. The girl had never felt so in love, and neither had the boy. They were together, and they were perfect. Early on, they expressed wanting to be together forever.








    But to quote Disney's The Fox and the Hound, "Forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things."

    To be continued [when I am not so exhausted :P]...
    { Our Story on LFAD }


    Our Beginning
    Met online: February 2009
    Feelings confessed: December 2010
    Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
    Officially together since: 08 April 2011

    Our Story
    First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
    Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
    Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
    Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

    Our Happily Ever After
    to be continued...

    #2
    Part II

    I can't sleep, so...

    The girl left on 14 September 2011, after a one month stay. They had both sobbed together the night before and the days that followed were no exception, but the entire visit had confirmed their feelings, their connection, their chemistry, and it was worth the tears. The distance was worth the tears, and they both knew they would find a way to conquer it, because being together was worth everything, and the idea of having one another forever was worth putting up with a temporary distance. You could say that like many couples still caught in the throes of their honeymoon stage, the girl and the boy felt invincible, like nothing could touch or stop them. When in love, it is easy to forget that life still happens.

    His mother fell ill not even a month after the girl had left. She had been growing more and more incoherent, something that had come on what felt suddenly. At one point the boy came to the girl on MSN and told her he was scared. His mother had been repeating the same motions over and over, was babbling incoherently, was stringing together random words, etc.; she was disoriented and confused. The girl urged him to ring emergency services. He was scared, but with enough pushing, he eventually called. The ambulance came, they gave her some oxygen, she felt better, and they left without doing any more evaluation than "how are you feeling?" and a quick survey of her temperature, which was higher than normal, but not dangerous, they said. They figured she would be fine waiting until the next day, as she had a hospital appointment. The following day, however, she was even worse. She could not remember where she lived, who her son was (she later would tell the doctor he was her boyfriend), his name, any pertinent information... The boy escorted her to the hospital.

    The doctors more or less told everyone she would be okay, she'd be fine, until the day she wasn't. An overnight stay was extended into a few days stay was extended into a week stay. Saturday they did a brain scan and found that she'd had an infection in her blood, and it spread to her brain. She didn't have much time. Sunday she died, while the boy was at home, while his brother was at home, and when they arrived at the hospital the following day, the doctors, as doctors sometimes do, told them she'd died asking for them. The boy, understandably, felt miserable, but he was strong. Denial can be a powerful drug in the worst of times, and he seemed not to feel her death at all as he hurried about arranging everything for the funeral etc. He was in charge of it. The girl was worried, nervous, insecure, probably a little too focused on their relationship in a time when it was about her boyfriend, but he promised nothing would change, nothing would tear them apart. They would be together forever, and they would get through even this. After the funeral, however, everything hit. Everything came crashing down. The boy was a mess.

    He withdrew. Two weeks later, he would tell the girl that he needed some time to think. His entire world had been pulled out from under him and he needed time to figure out what he wanted, what he could handle. The girl was a mess. She didn't want to care, she wanted to be able to support him and his decisions regardless of what they were, but she was blindsighted. She had done everything in her power to give her boyfriend what he needed leading up to that break in time. She'd given him space, time to re-evaluate, she'd stopped pressing him about contact and calls, etc. She'd been through this before. She'd watched her mother go through it. She knew what it was like, and she understood, but for a while, she did not understand the break-up and why he did not want to be with her. He could try bashing it into her head that it had nothing to do with her, but she didn't believe him. How could she? She felt like she'd done everything in her power to be what he needed and yet it still wasn't enough. She was looking at it wrong, but she didn't know that then. Meanwhile he continued to tell her he loved her more than anything and begged her not to leave. He didn't need to beg. She couldn't have left even if she wanted to. It was certainly advised, certainly recommended, but there was nothing in the girl that could ever allow herself to abandon anyone in such a time of grief and need, especially not this boy she loved so incredibly much.

    A month followed* where there was little to no contact. His phone broke so he couldn't make calls from it or receive calls on it. He was staying with a family where there was no internet. They were limited to text messages, texts the girl often paid for by crediting money to his phone, but texting is/was expensive, and the boy still needed his space, and so texting more than a couple times a day was hardly feasible. There was one weekend he managed to borrow a computer with internet and they spoke like they always had, if even the boy was understandably exponentially different in his speech and his mood, but there was something different, and that was the girl's mood. For as much as she loved him and his company, as soon as he had to leave or even sometimes during the conversation, she would be hit with such an overwhelming wave of sadness that she would burst into tears, this man that she loved no longer hers and her being 5000 miles away and unable to do anything about it. He still would have been withdrawn whether she was there or she wasn't, but you don't always think rationally when sad. After that month, he started slowly gaining time on the internet. They spoke pretty regularly, but there were times the girl was happy they couldn't speak much or that they missed each other at all. She loved talking to him, but the conversations seemed to break her heart all over again because they were a painful reminder of what things were and how it felt like they would always be. The most clarity and closure he could give her was that their break-up was "permanent for the time being." And so she waited; against some others' better judgment, maybe even against her own, she waited, because something inside her told her to.

    *The two weeks leading up to the break-up factored into this month. The need for space/inability to really contact one another started before the break-up happened, but it made more sense to me to write into the story what I did the way I did. Figured I'd clarify in a foot note, however.

    To be continued...
    Last edited by Haley53; February 9, 2012, 02:04 AM.
    { Our Story on LFAD }


    Our Beginning
    Met online: February 2009
    Feelings confessed: December 2010
    Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
    Officially together since: 08 April 2011

    Our Story
    First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
    Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
    Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
    Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

    Our Happily Ever After
    to be continued...

    Comment


      #3
      Ugh. D: I'm sick, so I will have to finish this when I be feeling better!
      { Our Story on LFAD }


      Our Beginning
      Met online: February 2009
      Feelings confessed: December 2010
      Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
      Officially together since: 08 April 2011

      Our Story
      First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
      Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
      Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
      Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

      Our Happily Ever After
      to be continued...

      Comment


        #4
        I know you're not completely done writing your story Eclaire, but I wanted to say, I think your story's absolutely beautiful and had me tearing up. I can relate to you on so many levels. I wish you the best of luck <3 You and your SO's courage inspires me immensely

        Comment


          #5
          This is so sweet!!! I can't wait to hear the rest of it.
          "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

          Comment


            #6
            I'm not going to lie, you guys look like you are MADE for each other. I have never seen such perfection! Haha XD I want to make one of these!
            Love knows not distance, time, or logic.

            Evan & Megan <3

            07.20.13

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you everyone for your comments! I swear I'll continue this soon. Been busy busy busy!
              { Our Story on LFAD }


              Our Beginning
              Met online: February 2009
              Feelings confessed: December 2010
              Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
              Officially together since: 08 April 2011

              Our Story
              First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
              Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
              Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
              Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

              Our Happily Ever After
              to be continued...

              Comment


                #8
                Part III

                The girl's mother took her to see Puss In Boots to keep her mind off of it, and the girl tried to do what they always say you should: keep busy. The girl had school. She went out with her mother and sister often. She even tried to arrange meetings with old school friends who she hadn't spoken to in ages. Still, the boy was always on the back of her mind; her phone was always close at hand, and she checked text messages frequently. Sometimes the boy wrote. Sometimes he didn't.

                One morning the girl went up and logged on Facebook. Through their many conversations, the boy had told her he didn't want to be treated any differently. They weren't together, but the love was still there. It was hard for her to understand, the idea that the label and the label alone made him feel some "pressure," but she didn't want to be treated differently any more than she wanted to treat him differently. But in ways, she saw them as exes, even if he did not, so she put limits on it. She could not talk about sex or any great measures of intimacy. She could not talk about kissing him or holding him. "I love you" was often where she stopped. And so it was unexpected when she went to post something hopefully uplifting on his Facebook wall and saw the face of his ex: his ex who he had stopped speaking to months before; he had not told her they'd spoken again, since she had come to the funeral, and the girl was devestated. She flipped.

                They had a horrible argument filled with irrational accusations on the girl's end, but they had a history. The girl had her reasons for disliking the ex and the reasons were valid, even if the jealousy was not. The boy did his best to calm her down, soothe her, try and talk some sense into her but she was livid. She felt hurt and betrayed and most of all, she felt like a rebound. She felt as though he'd cut his ex out of his life and she'd been some substitute, and then when his ex waltzed back in, things resumed and the girl was dropped. Of course the ex had nothing to do with the boy's decision, and there was nothing going on between them, but the girl was not convinced of this. She did not trust the ex, and she did not trust her partner. She was scared and vulnerable and a part of her wanted nothing more to do with the boy. A part of her believed him when he said nothing was going on and a part of her felt stupid for it. She was angry that the boy didn't tell her, but she knew her reaction made it so that he wouldn't have wanted to; she felt stupid for that too.

                Things were strained for a while. Even when the ex got pushed further and further aside, eventually being cut out again completely, things were strained. Emotions ran high, for the girl and, obviously, for the boy. His entire life had been completely turned upside down, and hers had been shattered because of it. In a span of a couple of months, the boy lost his mother, his home, and had to think about taking care of his younger brother. On top of this, he had to deal with making the arrangements for everything. He had to deal with finding their home, organising finances. He had to deal with his father, who he hadn't dealt with in years, the father who abused him for years, and his father played the same games he always had. The boy had a lot of responsibility, minimal ways of contacting the girl, and a fuse that was shorter than the girl had ever seen, but she loved him, and that was enough to encourage her to keep going.

                When that month was up, the girl came home one day. She'd seen a couple on the bus that both made her smile and pained her. They were in the 60s. She'd seen this couple before. They radiated with so much love for one another that they positively glowed. He was constantly connecting with her through holding hands, holding an arm around her, etc. They were very sweet people. The girl wanted that. The girl knew the boy was not her last chance for it, but it made her miserable, because she wanted that with the boy. She came home and he was online and the girl told the boy of this couple. Her admiration turned into bitter resentment and resentment turned into tears. She cried and told the boy that she wanted that fairytale, wanted someone to want her in the same way that man loved his wife. The boy said, "I want you." And the girl questioned him how. And the boy said, "I want you. My mind has cleared, and I want you." The exclusivity was reinstated. Even though neither one of them had strayed, it felt good to have it explicitly stated. They were still without labels, but the boy said once he felt he could again be the boyfriend she deserved, they would be reinstated too. The girl accepted this. The boy had never really broken a promise before.

                A short time later, he asked her to be his girlfriend and they changed their Facebook statuses back. They were both delighted, the boy because she was his again and the girl because she thought that it meant they'd be out of the woods. She didn't realise that they had a little ways to go before that point.

                To be continued...
                Last edited by Haley53; February 29, 2012, 03:11 PM.
                { Our Story on LFAD }


                Our Beginning
                Met online: February 2009
                Feelings confessed: December 2010
                Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                Our Story
                First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                Our Happily Ever After
                to be continued...

                Comment


                  #9
                  Part IV - The End (For Now!)

                  They say that everyone has a breaking point. The girl's came at about the time the boy's father took the boy to court for custody of the boy's brother.

                  It had been a chaotic couple months. The girl had dealt with anger that was so terrifyingly uncharacteristic of the boy that she had been stunned into contemplating whether or not it was worth it. She dealt with it by learning to set boundaries, by improving her communication and in turn positively effecting his, and by going to therapy and seeing someone for Psych-K. His anger was, in ways, a blessing in disguise that the girl can't help but later be thankful for. She saw mild improvements, but she also felt a very consuming insecurity. This insecurity caused her to want to see the boy even earlier than they'd planned (summer). Spring break was available, she had the money, and she proposed the visit to the boy. After some convincing that she was fine paying, he decided it was doable, and his tickets were booked after Christmas.

                  But the boy's father taking him to court challenged everything. The girl's computer caught a virus around that time. She decided to take it into The Geek Squad, especially since she needed some other work done. The boy flipped over this, in a way the girl had not seen; it was very reminiscent of when her mother had gone through the custody battle during her divorce, and the girl was not sure she could deal with such levels of hostility again. The reason the boy was so angry? He wanted to be the one to help her with her computer, and he took it personally she wouldn't let him. He went so far as to tell her he wouldn't even send her their holiday pictures if the girl lost her data in the process of removing the virus. This seriously destroyed the girl, and she considered calling it quits, considered cancelling his trip even if the $700 was non-refundable. At that point, she didn't care, but her mother and one of her good friends pointed out the fact that court was not an easy demon, especially not when fighting for the custody of a child (in this case, his brother). She decided that what happened after the court case would determine everything. She did not tell him this then.

                  He won. The long and short of it is that he won. Custody/guardianship over his brother had been the last hurdle he'd needed to face before his life had the opportunity to stabilise, and the improvement in his mood was like a lightswitch. As the days wore on, the girl saw more and more of the man she'd fallen in love with. She saw the stress continue to be alleviated from his shoulders. She saw the angry phase of his grief become less and less until it was nonexistent. This gave her hope and it gave her courage.

                  Things have continued to get better for the boy and the girl. They're back to rarely arguing, to communicating effectively, to being as affectionate and in love with one another as they were before. The boy has expressed multiple times his appreciation for the girl and her decision to stay. He has told her he's not sure what he ever would have done without her, that he would have been lost. He has told her that she means the world. They do hope to marry one day, they hope it's written into their adventure, but the boy and the girl have stopped focusing so much on the future in order to live with one another in the present. They know that if marriage is in the cards, they will get there. They are in no rush. They have plans to close the distance for a year in the summer of 2013, with her going there for a working holiday. They have plans to see each other for two weeks in the spring, then two months in the summer. There are hopefully plans for a Christmas visit, but nothing's solidified. Most importantly, they are both happy. They are both in love. And they continue to write their story... together.
                  { Our Story on LFAD }


                  Our Beginning
                  Met online: February 2009
                  Feelings confessed: December 2010
                  Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                  Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                  Our Story
                  First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                  Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                  Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                  Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                  Our Happily Ever After
                  to be continued...

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What a cute story! I'm glad everything worked out for the two of you


                    sigpic

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I wish both of you a veritable happily ever after. I really do. Thank you for sharing your story!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Eclaire, thank you for sharing your story! It made me feel warm and tingly all over and it gave me hope for the future, too!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Thank you everyone.
                          { Our Story on LFAD }


                          Our Beginning
                          Met online: February 2009
                          Feelings confessed: December 2010
                          Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                          Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                          Our Story
                          First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                          Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                          Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                          Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                          Our Happily Ever After
                          to be continued...

                          Comment


                            #14
                            My fist hit the air at that happy ending. Our stories are similar in that our boys needed some space, and hurt us in the process. But I´m happy to hear that staying by their side no matter what has worked for someone else besides me, and I hope you to will one day reach the point of trust and happiness with each other again that me and mine have found

                            Also, Sorry for taking forever to answer your messages E :P I promise I´ll get back to them when I have time to give you a decently thought out answer hehe.

                            "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
                            -Miguel De Cervantes

                            Read our story HERE
                            \

                            Comment


                              #15
                              LOVED reading the story!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

                              Comment

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