My boyfriend and me have been together for a year already and we're trying to decide who moves where. We want to reach a decision or at least have a rough plan by the end of July, during his visit at my place. We've been looking at what our current circumstances are and what goals the other has.
I get out of school in July and am currently writing my dissertation. I'm planning on getting into work afterwards and after a year I want to do another degree because I want to become a full-time teacher. All while working part-time. He on the other hand already works full-time as a draftsman while working on furthering is education. He also wants to do a bachelor of architecture. These are the circumstances and goals we have. I could easily move since I'm fresh out and don't have a job that permamently ties me down. He does and we recently heard that if he moves to me (we were thinking for a year or two and then permamently move to him) and then goes back, there is a good possibility that he'd have to wait two years until he finds another job in his branch and in the area where he lives. So moving to me if it is just temporary isn't a very good idea in this case. The picture is quite clear now. Now here's the thing where I get stuck: My current education is only applicable in my country because of certain circumstances, which is terribly annoying, but since I'm planning on getting a bachelor of education anyway that wouldn't be a problem, right? It wouldn't be a huge problem, yes, but I'd have to deal with college fees in his country which I wouldn't have to pay if I'd go to one in my own country. And they're super expensive in his country! We both be hardpressed working and studying at the same time, not to mention the financial burden we'd be shouldered with. I'm sure we can deal with it. The only thing that scares me is moving to his country. He already asked me once at the beginning and the second time just recently when we got into talking about moving again. Both times I said I don't know. I'm not sure I'd want to move and can be happy in his country too, but I've already been there and I know I liked it. I don't understand why I'm still being hot and cold about it?! I feel like I'm being silly wanting to visit my SO's country one more time before making a definitive decision to move to him. Anyone felt that way about your SO's country or had any issues about closing the distance? Advice please!
I get out of school in July and am currently writing my dissertation. I'm planning on getting into work afterwards and after a year I want to do another degree because I want to become a full-time teacher. All while working part-time. He on the other hand already works full-time as a draftsman while working on furthering is education. He also wants to do a bachelor of architecture. These are the circumstances and goals we have. I could easily move since I'm fresh out and don't have a job that permamently ties me down. He does and we recently heard that if he moves to me (we were thinking for a year or two and then permamently move to him) and then goes back, there is a good possibility that he'd have to wait two years until he finds another job in his branch and in the area where he lives. So moving to me if it is just temporary isn't a very good idea in this case. The picture is quite clear now. Now here's the thing where I get stuck: My current education is only applicable in my country because of certain circumstances, which is terribly annoying, but since I'm planning on getting a bachelor of education anyway that wouldn't be a problem, right? It wouldn't be a huge problem, yes, but I'd have to deal with college fees in his country which I wouldn't have to pay if I'd go to one in my own country. And they're super expensive in his country! We both be hardpressed working and studying at the same time, not to mention the financial burden we'd be shouldered with. I'm sure we can deal with it. The only thing that scares me is moving to his country. He already asked me once at the beginning and the second time just recently when we got into talking about moving again. Both times I said I don't know. I'm not sure I'd want to move and can be happy in his country too, but I've already been there and I know I liked it. I don't understand why I'm still being hot and cold about it?! I feel like I'm being silly wanting to visit my SO's country one more time before making a definitive decision to move to him. Anyone felt that way about your SO's country or had any issues about closing the distance? Advice please!
It's all normal when it comes to move to another country, and South Africa is pretty far. I think that you shouldn't rush and consider all the possibilities. As Dziubka suggested, your SO might study in Austria. Or, simply, you might go to your SO for another long visit and take a break before continuing to study, just to see if ideas get cleare in your mind.
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