Moving in together...how to make her understand.

[corysti]

My love and I have been talking for a very short time and while we are taking things slow in terms of the relationship we can't help but talk about her future together. One of the things that come up quite often is if she is willing to move down here to me and move in with me. After finding out she wanted to be celibate and make the decision as well to show commitment on my part and to show how I really feel about her. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to disappoint her mother by moving in with me and would rather rent her own place down here. I just wonder whats wrong with living with each other...Would it be a religious thing? And if so how can we approach her mother when the time comes to show her that its more about being closer together than anything else.

[snow_girl]

I think maybe she is using her Mom as an excuse and maybe she herself isn't ready to move in with you. If she's decided to abstain from sex, living with you might make that choice harder. Also usually when you decide to wait you also have similar thoughts of waiting to move in with your partner.
What is the harm if she lives in the same city as you but not with you? I sometimes think I rushed in to living with my SO, I always told myself I wouldn't move in until I had a ring on my finger but with the circumstances it was the best option.

[lucybelle]

I think the general impression is that when a couple is living with each other, they are banging. So if she really does want to remain celibate, this "image" might make her uncomfortable. Let her get her own place. It's not that big of a deal.

[LoveL]

I think you guys needs to learn a little bit more about each other before you take the step of living together.
If you don't even know whether or not her motivations are religious or not, then you don't know enough about each other to make that kind of life decision.

Don't let your momentary emotions push you into doing something you aren't ready for.

[Haley53]

I think you guys needs to learn a little bit more about each other before you take the step of living together.
If you don't even know whether or not her motivations are religious or not, then you don't know enough about each other to make that kind of life decision.

Don't let your momentary emotions push you into doing something you aren't ready for.

This.

I also feel that you need to think more about her. She's expressed not wanting to live together, but she's said she'd like to get a place down there. Is that not a fair compromise? If she's renting her own place, she would still be in the same proximity. It might not be living together, but if you consider it a serious relationship, does that have to happen straight off the bat? If you're wanting to move in with her, then surely you're also at a point you can be patient with her? But like LoveL said, it sounds like there's a lot you still have to learn about her, and her hesitancies might be for a reason. Personally, I don't think her renting a place seems so bad, if you choose either option at all. She would be closer to you (what you want) without the worry of having sex or of moving too quickly (what she wants) and it would allow you both the time to get to know one another.

[Moon]

What exactly is your problem with her renting her own place? If she wants to be closer to you, and still remain celibate, that's pretty much the answer. It sounds like you really need to back-off, she isn't ready, and it doesn't sound like you two know each other well enough yet to be discussing living together, your asking if it's a religious thing proves that. If you knew her, you'd know if it was a religious or personal choice. Relax and enjoy your relationship, without all the pressure. Let the initial hormone rush die down, and have good conversations before talking about moving in together. Trying to convince her is a bad idea, you'll either be forcing her into something she isn't ready for and doesn't want, or you'll lose her because she'll stand with her convictions.