Hey all. I haven't written soon because I wanted to "try" myself how will I deal with everything for a while. I gotta say, oh my god, It's freaking harsh ......... I know what you all think, I am with my SO, She should be happy and not complaining and be sad .... and depressed.
It's not only the fact that I am alway from my family or friends. I am learning the language very fast by the way. I am getting along with his siblings very nicely. He is sweet and normal behaving, good, we had a few fights but they were caused by my pressure.
I am dealing with this situation very hard ( moving here). I love my SO. Really,truely want to be with him at any cost.
He lives in a city that I just ...... hate. It's dark, grey and gloomy. It's not green, It's all very old and dirty. It makes me feel depressed. People are not very kind, they look at me strange, his male friends either hit on me or make 5-year-old kind of jokes all the time. It's surprising me. We are not really going out with them, because HE doesn't want to. ( He had problems with them long time before) . I stay at the house almost all the time - basically I go out only with him after work ( which, may I laugh at myself, makes me feel like a dog going for a walk). I don't go out by myself because I don't speak the language good, the place is total mess and everything is freaking same to me, it's FULL of drunks during mid-day on streets (ok, maybe not full but there are quite the number) and .... maybe I should have started that I have never been a person who liked to be alone. For a walk. Or coffee. Only for a jogging - oh but guess what - there is no freaking place to go for a jog here......!!!! Nearest is like, either a big uninhabited forest, or city park ( which is 1 hour away with bus).
I was trying so hard to avoid this ......everything in my mind. I feel totally depressed. I share with him all the time how I feel, he is like my diary or something. I don't hide how I feel or what I don't like. I think it's important. I will stay here for another month and a half, and then head home for exams, which will take me 3 months. Then, I am supposed to be back here,forever.
I miss my jogging in the morning, I miss going to store without people looking at me like I stole something, I miss TALKING TO PEOPLE, HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , being busy.
I do all the home stuff all day every day - cooking, cleaning, washing..... damn it's boring. It's not life for me.
Girls,I am so grey minded right now (like the city I am in) I don't know what to do.I want to live with him, and this is the option for us. He has a great job. I don't know if time will help me, and if I will ever get a job here (god please let me find something) , but I never though It will be so life-sucking.
I'm thorn between being with the one I love ( which I will do anything to be with) and helping myself feel better.
Thanks for listening to all this not nice things. I really needed to share.
P.s- Not all is bad. I am with him, and we are living just fine together.
It's not only the fact that I am alway from my family or friends. I am learning the language very fast by the way. I am getting along with his siblings very nicely. He is sweet and normal behaving, good, we had a few fights but they were caused by my pressure.
I am dealing with this situation very hard ( moving here). I love my SO. Really,truely want to be with him at any cost.
He lives in a city that I just ...... hate. It's dark, grey and gloomy. It's not green, It's all very old and dirty. It makes me feel depressed. People are not very kind, they look at me strange, his male friends either hit on me or make 5-year-old kind of jokes all the time. It's surprising me. We are not really going out with them, because HE doesn't want to. ( He had problems with them long time before) . I stay at the house almost all the time - basically I go out only with him after work ( which, may I laugh at myself, makes me feel like a dog going for a walk). I don't go out by myself because I don't speak the language good, the place is total mess and everything is freaking same to me, it's FULL of drunks during mid-day on streets (ok, maybe not full but there are quite the number) and .... maybe I should have started that I have never been a person who liked to be alone. For a walk. Or coffee. Only for a jogging - oh but guess what - there is no freaking place to go for a jog here......!!!! Nearest is like, either a big uninhabited forest, or city park ( which is 1 hour away with bus).
I was trying so hard to avoid this ......everything in my mind. I feel totally depressed. I share with him all the time how I feel, he is like my diary or something. I don't hide how I feel or what I don't like. I think it's important. I will stay here for another month and a half, and then head home for exams, which will take me 3 months. Then, I am supposed to be back here,forever.
I miss my jogging in the morning, I miss going to store without people looking at me like I stole something, I miss TALKING TO PEOPLE, HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , being busy.
I do all the home stuff all day every day - cooking, cleaning, washing..... damn it's boring. It's not life for me.
Girls,I am so grey minded right now (like the city I am in) I don't know what to do.I want to live with him, and this is the option for us. He has a great job. I don't know if time will help me, and if I will ever get a job here (god please let me find something) , but I never though It will be so life-sucking.
I'm thorn between being with the one I love ( which I will do anything to be with) and helping myself feel better.
Thanks for listening to all this not nice things. I really needed to share.
P.s- Not all is bad. I am with him, and we are living just fine together.
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