Moving without the ring.. would you?

[carbonell2910]

Hi Ladies..

Would you move to another state with the man you love without the ring?

I love him desperately and I would move tomorrow if I could, but the fact that i love him is not enough..I dont know if i should leave my family, my job and friends if he doesn't propose first... how do i know if he really want this? He is coming in a week and want us to talk about it (i know he's not going to propose). He cant move here because he has a great job.. I'm scared.

[lucybelle]

I moved to another country without being engaged.

[ChibiFelicia]

The thing is a proposal isnt a guarantee that the relationship will work out. A lack of a proposal doesn't mean they are less commited to the relationship. If you aren't sure whether you want to move then maybe give it a bit more time. Some people prefer to live with someone before they think about marriage, some want to be married before they live together (im the latter). For me personally if my man and I lived in the same country and i could move to be closer to him i would, without the need for a proposal. Moving to a different country i would too, but trying to get a nursing work permit over in the states will take a long time. And since he proposed, he'll petition for me soon.

[Haley53]

I moved to another country without being engaged.

I'll be temporarily relocating without the ring. If it doesn't work out, I have family to come home to earlier than planned or money to support me should I decide to do something crazy, like backpacking. A lot of people move without a ring on their finger, and they get that ring later on. You've said before your boyfriend would want to live together prior to getting married, yes? Honestly, if neither one of you can compromise on this value, then the relationship is going to end up over, the same way it did before. :/ Love involves making sacrifices and taking risks, and some people want to live together before marriage (I wouldn't accept a ring without having lived with someone, for example). If that's something you can do, then do it; if it's not, then maybe you two aren't meant to be together and need to find someone who shares your basic values.

[Dziubka]

You have been dating for just over half a year. For me that's way too short to get engaged.

My boyfriend moved in with me in March and I'm going to be living with his parents from October and there's no ring in sight so far.

What's important though, is that you move your yourself, because YOU want to, not for him. This is not something you do for him or for which he needs to give you something (committment, a ring, whatever) in return. If you move and want to be happy there, you need to WANT to be there for yourself. Anything else will lead to resentment.
If you're scared, take some more time, visit, get to know each other.

[mllebamako]

Would you move to another state with the man you love without the ring?

Yes, totally. Like others have said, a ring isn't a guarantee. If you believe in him and your relationship, then go for it.

[MathnSkating]

I'm moving without a ring. I think this is one of the most challenging things about long distance. The actual moving to be closer bit. Its a risk, and its scary, and there is no certainty of an outcome. You eventually just have to decide the possible reward is worth the risk. I agree with what others have said, if you believe in your SO and your relationship then go for it

[Carenza LaRue]

yeah,

I would move without a ring.

but, in all honesty...since I would be giving up my life here, I have to be sure all the legal stuff is well arranged when I get there.

[Kiyama]

Yes. In fact, I've moved to another country without even the guarantee we'd get together. I was madly in love It didn't work out but I don't regret anything.
A ring is no guarantee. It might not be romantic but these days getting engaged is no binding commitment. It should be, as well as marriage but the statistics speak louder than romantic thoughts. If he's committed to you, he is and it doesn't matter whether you have a ring or not!

[snow_girl]

I moved to another country without being engaged.

So did I

[prinzeza87]

i would, but only if we known each other enough to make the move, and sometimes not even having a reasonable time together could be enough. each relationship is different

[Dezface]

Considering me and my SO are both still in the process of divorce to others, we are in no hurry to get married again. Might happen eventually but we both know marriage doesn't mean we'll work. And we've both found out the hard way how much more difficult it is to end things just because of that ring. I'll be moving to another country without a ring and that's exactly the way I want it.

[CandiCandi]

I tried to answer your private message you sent me, but it says your inbox is full. What I was going to tell you is that even if me and my SO were not engaged, I would be moving. I close the distance tomorrow (I get on the bus tomorrow, I arrive on Sunday). What I wanted to tell you is that moving together is JUST AS BIG of a commitment as marriage. You seemed worried that he wasn't as into this as you, but to be honest, it sounds like he's just as committed. He just wants to make sure that you two can live together before marriage. It is a big deal to ask someone to move in with you. You start sharing finances, you wake up in the same bed every day and start dealing with each others habits that you both love and dislike at the same time. He wants you to be a part of his every day life. You don't need a ring to be committed.

If you are not ready to move, have a discussion with him. Do NOT move if you are not ready and if you do not have a back up plan, in case you guys don't work out. However, if you're ready and have a back up plan, then okay. Do not do it if you are not ready. If you are not ready, try the long distance thing out for a little longer. Keep your job, if you have no security net where you are going to move to. A lot of discussing and making of plans needs to go into moving, but yes. I would move without a ring.

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I'm on the flip side of the coin. It's my SO that wants to move to me. He knows my stance on marriage. I'm not particularly interested in it seeing as I have two divorces under my belt. I want him to complete his studies first before he even thinks about moving so I guess no ring would be needed in my case either.

[kittyo9]

To answer your question, yes, absolutely... I'd actually rather move to be with my SO before we're engaged than after, so that we can live together for a "trial period" (which is what my SO will probably end up doing to be with me)... but only if I'm ready. You sound like you aren't comfortable taking this step yet, so I think you should really take that into consideration before you make this decision.