Failed CD

[elina]

My heart breaks for you.. so sorry this happened to you. How he couldn't know he wasn't ready until after you moved.. is just terrible.

I hope you'll get your life sorted again soon back home. I'm sending tons of strength and good thoughts your way, it'll take time to heal but you'll get there. Just remember to take care of yourself, and we'll all be here for you if you need us *hugs*

[CottonSwab]

You all are such sweet people. Thank you for being so kind.

[Carenza LaRue]

I am so sorry.

I don't know what to say really to make you feel better.... this sucks big time and you will need a lot of strength to get through.
so, the only thing I can do for you is sending positive vibes...

best of luck and strength of course.

[princessmeg1328]

I am so sorry this happened to you! It sucks that you had to go all that way just to find out he wasn't ready. I wish you the best of luck in the future because things will get better. If you ever need anything, we're all here for you.

[tanaquil]

I'm so sorry ... as someone who's broken up with her SO twice, I can understand how you feel. Though my pain was probably nowhere near yours.

Letting yourself be sad for a while is a GOOD thing. Don't listen to some people who want you to get off your feet immediately; that's impossible. In the end, though, the only thing that will make it better is just the passage of time. /: I hope you feel better soon and there are tons of people out there who are willing to help you <3

[CottonSwab]

It's such a tragic joke that strangers are nicer to me than the man who promised to love me for the rest of his life.

I hope you all know how much your kind words mean to me. I hope you all get your happily ever afters with your SOs. You deserve it.

[TwoThree]

You deserve to be happy too. And I'm sure you will be. Just give yourself time to heal and hopefully soon this will just be a bad memory.

[tanaquil]

Seriously, you deserve to be happy <3 And fee free to rant here.

[CottonSwab]

The only rant I have right now is that all of the effort that went into sustaining a long distance relationship, and all of that time and money that went into keeping it going, on top of all the time put into planning, money spent, future decided that went into closing the distance just feels a bit wasted. I think it's my anger/sadness talking when I say that, but it's not like LDRs are all that easy sometimes. When it ends like this, after we finally got the chance a lot of people don't get (especially not as soon as we got it - we were lucky) is like a slap to the face of LDRs everywhere.

There are a lot of reasons behind why he wasn't ready and I understand them now, as much as it still hurts, it just pisses me off to no end that all the effort, love and money that went into it just got flushed so quickly. I mean, it wasn't like I just moved down the street to be with him...

I hate feeling like I wish I'd never moved there. We did have a great time while it lasted until things went to shit, but had I stayed home and we postponed it until the end of the summer, I'm sure the issues that ended the CD would have come up while I was still home and I could at least not have had to worry about rebuilding an entire life and things getting so messy and hurtful. And he and I might have been in a better position where he'd have been more willing to let me help him without feeling so pressured. Alas, such is life, and it happened, and now it's all like the blown up Stay Puft marshmallow man.

[Bramo]

Just want to send you a huge hug and tell you that he wasn't wor it and one day when the time is right for you you will see it and have a loving relationship without all the compromise. Stay strong and remember you aren't alone. X

[Romeo s Juliet]

i am sorry this happend to you :/ the advice you gave was really great, thank you. sending massive hugs to you one day there will be a man who would make you feel you are special and would wanna give up his entire life to be with you, and love you like no other. all the best, and please take time to heal.

[Ivy]

Oh my God .... what a joke of a man! I am sorry for what happened to you, this is horrific for anyone to experience and I think you are one tough woman!!!!! Keep your head up, these times are the worse times, probably you feel like life is over, and I wouldn't blame you. But you will eventually see it's not like that - and I hope for your sake this will be soon.

I'm moving there in 30 days. I feel this kind of pressure on me. And it's even stronger because I have personal issues here at my home, and I really feel more and more scared to move there FOR A MAN. I am considering all possibilities too - and in my head, it's not pretty sight, I guess what I need to remember is whatever happens , there is always a plane to take me back home and the hope that however broken you may be - life will go on.

Be strong. (hug)

[rina]

I noticed this thread is rather old and i'd had to stir up some bad feelings by going here again, but i just hope everything is ok and you've started to heal.

Don't think of the time spent together as a waste and regret it.. think of it as a learning process. I'm sure that you looked back on it many times and by now you probably noticed things that may have hinted stuff, well now you know how to notice bad signs and you can be safer in the future. I always notice the big picture and how things connected after a while and that actually gives me more peace and confidence rather than regret for not noticing on time.

You should look forward to all the wonderful possibilities you have now, you can start over and do anything u want!

[Honour]

This is dreadful I'm literally speechless that anyone could do this to anyone. I'm so sorry *hugs to you* and I wish you every luck in the future <3

[CottonSwab]

Thanks for your continued support everyone. Your hearts and warmth have made me feel better, more than you know.

It's been a few months now and I'd love to be able to say I picked myself up and dusted myself off within a couple of weeks but that wasn't the case. Having gotten so invested and having to undo what I thought was the rest of my life mapped out was hard, devastating, heartbreaking, etc.

I remember half sobbing/half laughing when people would say that time would make it better, and that eventually I would feel better. It felt pretty impossible at the time. But it has, little by little. And I'm able to see now that I am indeed better off without him; what felt like a huge loss at first now shows itself for what it is. There are still sad days where the feeling of loss is pretty overwhelming, but there are now more reminders of what I escaped. Who deserves someone who'd do something like that? I'd be lying if I said I was eager to find Mr. Right after this - it's going to take a lot of time to get back to a point where this whole situation doesn't poison intimacy for me. But with everything else, I'm sure it'll come in time.

So for anyone going through tough times, it does get better. It takes time, but things heal, and life has a way of giving you that cushion to ease yourself up slowly when you need it most. You're all a bunch of cushions <3