A little over a month ago, my SO and I closed the distance after a lot of thought, a lot of planning, and a lot of sacrifices (on my part). You see, I transferred school, city, country, everything, to be with him. Why? Because he'd convinced every single part of me that he really loved me, that our engagement was something real, and that he wanted me there with him, right there, in the flesh.
Fast forward a week and a half from arrival date and he starts saying, "I don't think I'm ready for this yet." A few weeks later, I'm back in my home country, only now I have nowhere to live, no job, no money, and now, no fiance. I have nothing. And he refuses to speak to me.
I've been home for just under a week now and I still can't will myself to get out of bed. I can't smile. I can't enjoy anything. I lost everything I had in the one thing I thought was the only sure thing in my life. And he gave me absolutely no reason to think that I had anything to doubt or worry about. He was the one who started our relationship. He was the one who proposed. He was the one who asked me to move down there. And he was the one who took it all away.
I really did think this man was the love of my life, and I'm sure I'll still feel that way for a long time to come. Regardless of how much he's hurt me and how much I want to hate him, I can't. On top of being so hurt and lost, I miss him terribly with everything I have. I don't know how to exist without him.
If/when you and your SO decide to close the distance, please, please take it from someone who's been there: have a backup plan, really, seriously think about what you would do if it didn't work out (even though none of us want to think it won't) and force yourself to acknowledge the pros and cons of taking the leap, and whether or not you're really, truly ready for them. Because believe me, I wouldn't wish pain like this on my worst enemy. I've lost everything because he told me he was ready.
Force yourself to think of all the things you really don't want to. Force yourself to think of the what-ifs. Ask him or her to do the same. As unpleasant as questions like, "What if he really doesn't care about me like he says he does, and gets rid of me as soon as I get there?" are, at least you'll be a bit more prepared than I was.
Best of luck.
Fast forward a week and a half from arrival date and he starts saying, "I don't think I'm ready for this yet." A few weeks later, I'm back in my home country, only now I have nowhere to live, no job, no money, and now, no fiance. I have nothing. And he refuses to speak to me.
I've been home for just under a week now and I still can't will myself to get out of bed. I can't smile. I can't enjoy anything. I lost everything I had in the one thing I thought was the only sure thing in my life. And he gave me absolutely no reason to think that I had anything to doubt or worry about. He was the one who started our relationship. He was the one who proposed. He was the one who asked me to move down there. And he was the one who took it all away.
I really did think this man was the love of my life, and I'm sure I'll still feel that way for a long time to come. Regardless of how much he's hurt me and how much I want to hate him, I can't. On top of being so hurt and lost, I miss him terribly with everything I have. I don't know how to exist without him.
If/when you and your SO decide to close the distance, please, please take it from someone who's been there: have a backup plan, really, seriously think about what you would do if it didn't work out (even though none of us want to think it won't) and force yourself to acknowledge the pros and cons of taking the leap, and whether or not you're really, truly ready for them. Because believe me, I wouldn't wish pain like this on my worst enemy. I've lost everything because he told me he was ready.
Force yourself to think of all the things you really don't want to. Force yourself to think of the what-ifs. Ask him or her to do the same. As unpleasant as questions like, "What if he really doesn't care about me like he says he does, and gets rid of me as soon as I get there?" are, at least you'll be a bit more prepared than I was.
Best of luck.
sending you big hugs. 
Take care of yourself, wishing you the best and quick healing.
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