Advice Regarding Moving

[x_simplicity]

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months, while I"m in Hawaii he is in California, we are both 25 years old, and have met in person. My question is this, when you are ready to close the distance, how did you guys decide where to live/move to?
Did you guys just move in together? Or were you engaged before you moved in together?

How did you plan your life? Enaged -->move in together---> marriage ---> buy a house/condo?

Basically my question is what was the process all you other LDR's go through to closing the distance?

Thanks

[Darth_Taco]

Well...

Met---> Decided I should move---> Started dating xD---> Met in person :P---> Forced my family to go with me on our second visit---> Conned them into agreeing to move ;D---> Made several plans---> All fell through xD ;_;!---> Refused to give up---> Get into a car crash @_@---> Have all our plans fail because I needed physical therapy ;_;---> Win my case :'D!---> Wait like 2 months for the damn monies @_@---> Made more plans---> Forgot we were in the middle of planning xD---> Started planning again----> To be continued :P. I can't risk jynxing this shit ;_;!

We have no intention in getting married. Well, he sorta does and I'm against it XP. Aside from my recovery from drug addiction, this is out biggest issue @_@. That's not the point! We're not exactly moving in together either. We're only 20, we're young enough to put that off for a while. I'll just no longer be 300 miles away :P. Our big move is more like go to college together XP. It just works differently for everyone. Just remember, don't go there with no support system. Have family or make other friends. I think that's one of the biggest mistakes I see some couples make. You should never ever rely completely on your significant other for you emotional needs. That's an unhealthy relationship.

[Zephii]

For us it was like
Finally meet each other and each other's familes -> Move in together -> start saving to buy a house. That's where we are now ^^

[MadMolly]

I moved there; hated it. A year later he moved here. No marriage plans and likely never will be any.

[Swederica]

Well. I'm kind of in that stuff right now.
I will move closer to my gf. But it serves a double function.
I will also go to school there, so i'm not 100% dependent on it working out for us.

I will also live in an apartment on my own in the beginning. i think it's good with a middle-stage.

[Bluestars]

He moved to be with me a few months ago but moved back for many reasons, including money, finding a job, and not making friends. Darth-Taco is right that you need to make other friends when you make the move, but that is something that you can force yourself to do. He was living with his dad when he moved up here, but we both agreed that next time when one of us makes the move we will move in together because 1) it will save money AND 2) it will be a lot less lonely in a new place living with your loved one.

He also made the move way too fast and did not plan enough, so we are sort of at the point where we had to slow down, and now we do not have any solid plans to move to be together because my SO needs to figure out what he wants with is life (he just graduated from college). However, the move should definitely happen within two to three years since I will have graduated by then

[garnet]

For us it was, a visit, engagement, a second visit, get K1 fiance visa, he moved in with me. wedding in less than a month.

[lpuckett]

I am leaving beautiful and sunny San Diego, California during its perfect summer for cold, big city Santiago, Chile during its nasty winter.
For us, the choice was kind of easy because he can not legally work in the US yet, and we were not going to rush things and get married so that could happen. He is an engineer and could provide for the two of us if needed, but I am a wedding photographer and can do that freelance in Santiago.
It basically comes down to where you can be the most prosperous as a couple TOGETHER. If you move somewhere and hate it, you have got to only blame yourself. Each place is what you make of it. You have to actually TRY to make friends, and find a job you like. You are responsible for liking it or not. I am going to like living in Chile even if its not San Diego.
Make sure money is not a problem. That is important.
Unless he is in San Diego, I would choose Hawaii.. the warmer the better.

[Swederica]

I completely agree with you.
And i will remember that when i move

[JoMarie]

For us, there were a lot of visits and getting to know one another s family. It was simple to decide who was going to move, as he is property of the US Navy, I have to be the one to move, but it was never forced. I am moving in about a month, and it was a mutual decision. Whatever happens after that, will happen.

[Kirschlein]

I am at this point at the moment too: He is working and learning my language while i am getting a house/apartment to live in. Afterwards if he knows German he can just come here and find work, then we need to overcome the documents and other things so he is allowed to stay... and thats it. No marriage is planned yet, but we maybe want later. Now we are happy if we can live together <3

[Riyko]

My guy and I were Close Distance before becoming Long Distance so we slept together, but lived in different rooms (College Dorm). It will wind up with either us living together in Canada or us living together in Chile, it just really depends on what happens and if we go to Chile together or if he wants us to live together in Canada. One thing that won't happen is us getting married because he doesn't want to get married, but we will live together and buy a house together in the future.

*my guy is from chile so I don't know if he would want to live there because his family is there*

[Caitlin2009]

well hopefully in July we'll move together to NC, I hate Connecticut i have no desire to live here all my life, she lives in Scotland and she knows its not home anymore and although its a beautiful country i dont wanna move there myself. I have always wanted to live in the south thats where i feel my home is especially in NC, she wants to move there with me because to quote her "wherever you are is home to me" and i also think she really wants to live in NC as well because she also feels like its home