Obstacles Preventing Us From Closing the Distance

[EnglishMan]

Hahaha! I appreciate your approval in my desire to move to your glorious country! <3 :P

Yeah, the more we look into the realities of all this, marriage is seeming like the option that will help us close the distance in a reasonable period of time. Like I said, I wouldn't be opposed to it. I suppose it is a combination of him being quite proud -- wanting to do this on his own merit -- and us both still being fairly young. It is tough. I think we'll definitely look into holiday visas and/or a year abroad for myself. I looked into it a bit on my uni's website earlier. It will certainly be a challenge since none of eligible unis are even remotely close to him. If it wasn't for the fact that I am way too terrified to drive on the wrong side of the road (lol), that wouldn't be a problem, but it just might prove to be. I'll look into it more. Apparently I can put in a request to choose a uni outside of the pre-authorized ones, but that is a complicated and not guaranteed process. Still, we're seeing that there are more options... And if none of them work, well, cue the wedding march! Ha!

Ah, yeah, very similar positions. I'd offer advice or help, but I don't know much about the American immigration. I know what you mean about overwhelming, though. The websites just go on and on with different rules, guidelines, types of visas, but they barely give any concrete information. It all feels a little up-in-the-air to the point where you almost have to just fill out the form that seems the most suitable and hope that you didn't waste all sorts of time and money doing the wrong thing. Eligibility also becomes pretty vague so you're never really 100% sure whether you qualify under a specific type. They could make things so much clearer, but they just won't. And the requirements are insane. On the Canadian site, there is a little eligibility 'quiz' that tells you whether you qualify. When I did it the first time exactly the way it applied to my SO, he was not eligible. I tried it probably 15 more times, changing answers to see how it would affect the results... In the end, the ONLY answers that made him eligible is 3 (or 5) years of work experience, a job offer, and over $300,000 in the bank. That won't happen any time soon. -sigh-

As for countries looking to fill holes, I don't believe my SO will fall under that category. Canada -- particularly where I am -- isn't exactly lacking people to fill positions in the technology industry. It is growing like crazy, so I would like to hope that it is possible, but it certainly wasn't on the government website that talked about on the in demand, desirable professions/industries page.

Yeah, your current plan is the best one for us, too... Ugh, why does this have to be so hard?

Haha, I certainly wouldn't call it glorious! I mean it's alright here (and yeah, of course im related to the Queen and I love her dearly too ).

Yeah it's all rather confusing and seems pretty difficult for the most part, but I think that's just a reflection of countries simply not wanting immigration for immigration's sake. A big part of the US spouse visa is that you need to have some form of sponsorship so that you won't be a drain on public money... in other words, if you wont be of positive production then they don't really want you (though for the sake of marriages fortunately enough, they are still a bit more reasonable, proving you can prove its all legitimate). I'd guess Canada takes a similar-ish approach, I know the UK is too (other than EU-EU immigration, because we have no real means to limit that much).

With the Uni thing, this is probably an unreasonable suggestion, but if you're able to study abroad here for a year, then you're entitled to student accommodation off the bat, and I believe couples options would be available too. Even if you wouldn't be able to transfer for a year too closely to him, there 'could' still be the possibility that you could obtain a student couples apartment, which he could possibly move into with you. But obviously, it would depend on his ties to home (jobs etc), and im not sure how reasonable a suggestion that really is.

The requirements for living in the US for any extended amount of time are likewise ridiculous, so I sympathise with you both on that one! I'd have to secure a job, or a work transfer, or be able to invest a ridiculous amount of money... there isn't any other option for me to move to her than marriage. We're both pretty happy with the idea of marriage so fortunately that's a path we're comfortable with, but I could understand why others might not be.

The fact that that sector is booming a bit over there could actually be positive news, as the greater the workforce needed then possibly the better chance they'd advertise for foreign workers to fill the gaps, though you said there doesn't seem to be a shortage of people to fill those gaps right now. Another thing for him to remember is that he might need a company to sponsor his visa application, and I believe its the same in Canada as it is in the US, that they'd have to prove there isn't a Canadian who could fill that role instead. So really you've gotta possess something special of different to be looking at transferring that way.

Tis a shame, cause they've tightened up on immigration in recent years and that makes it a bit more difficult for all of us!

[squeeker]

Thanks, Squeeker!

Yeah, it is really all about having a plan. Even when you have one, though, it is tough. Sometimes things mess up plans, and sometimes these plans just take so long. MY SO and I have been in an LDR for a long time. We're just ready to close the distance.

And good luck to you, too! You seem to have it all worked out.

Thanks! I agree it's still tough, especially when you've been in the LDR for so long already.. I see you've been together for 6 years already.. I see why it'd be even more frustrating when you aren't sure of the right plan yet. I know my SO and I have had our fair share of messed up plans.. It sucks doesn't it.. now I sort of keep in mind where we want to get to and our next step but then all the things in between are kind of flexible. I'm so glad we were able to come up with a solid plan even though it's going to take some work, though a lot of the plan is very flexible because we don't know what type of job we'll get after we graduate and we go back on forth where we'll live when we close the distance. I also wanted to say you give me hope seeing you and your SO have been in this for 6+ years.. I see a lot of places on here people closing the distance after a year or two or something.. and I know it's going to be more like 6 years or so for my SO and I so I like seeing others like us.. even though it's so frustrating it has to take so long!! Anyways thanks and good luck!! (and also, it's kind of funny.. my SO used to live in the West Midlands at one point! and i see that's where your SO lives! haha..)