"Ya never really know someone.......

[iHeartt]

Till you live with them"

Ever heard that quote? I have, and also from many friends lately. Its one of the many reasons me & my SO are seeing each other so much before I move. However, for yall that have already closed the distance, did you find that your SO has many quirks about them that you couldn't learn about over distance?
I'm asking this because I was at his place this past week. Sunday night, I found a little quirk of his that I was unaware of. We got in a little argument, discussed things, and it was over and settled. But, I had no way of knowing about this little quirk beforehand and would have never known about it had I not physically been there. Its one of the bad things about LDR's. You never really know someone unless you live with them! Or are physically there. Does this even make sense? I'm sure that once we live together there will be many things about him and myself that we'll just have to learn and adjust to. Kind of exciting if you ask me!

[garnet]

I disagree. Sorta. If you can manage multi week visits, in my case at least, I learned all of the good/bad/ugly. I'm speaking of my international LDR, where we went on to marry. Now that he and I are starting over again - I'm trying to do the same thing with my SO. I spent ten days with him the first time, and 5 weeks, the second. I'm thinking future visits will be shorter, but I'm glad we got some long ones in to really see how each other lives. You kinda loosen up after a weekend together I think, and the real you shines through a bit more clearly. Thats just my experience though.

[iHeartt]

if you can stay with them for longer than a week or 2, yes, its different. But for me, I can only stay a week at a time. During that week, he has work and all. The more I'm with him, the more I get to know him. But we are fully aware that when I do finally get to be up there permanently, there will be things we will have to learn about each other and adjust to. Which in my opinion is a good thing. I want to know and learn all there is about him.

[lucybelle]

We didn't have any long visits before we moved in with each other. It worked out fine for us! We both have "quirks" but we never fight about them. My SO doesn't like the back yard being trashy, so he'll just ask me to clean it up. And I do. The end.

[iHeartt]

I think we just argued because it caught me SO offguard. I was not expecting what he gave me! lol But its all good. I know I have my quirks as well, but I don't dwell on them or even get angry.

[BXtoBA]

That is definitely true. There are all kinds of things you learn once you start living together. Basics are who does cooking, shopping, cleaning and laundry.

[Lucky]

my boyfriend and I are both very old fashioned but this is the reason we decided to live together for a few months before getting engaged, we already spent 3 weeks together, experienced a bunch of "normal" things and even had an argument, we were in a bit of vacation mode on those weeks though, so this time we are trying to keep it as plain and normal as possible to learn more about our quirks to be sure we are compatible enough for marriage.

[iHeartt]

We spend lots of time together. We are with each other for a week, every 2 weeks. But in that time, we still have work, lives, etc. So its always kind of like lots of little vacations. We are comfortable around each other, and have talked about the what ifs. I'm sure we'll be fine, but the little worry is always there, "what if he really doesn't like living with me", etc. I think its normal, but we all have those quirks that only come out in the comfort of our own home.

[ThePiedPiper]

It probably depends, but I saw a lot of my ex during my two month visit that I attribute to both the fact we were so "far" into our relationship (1 year, 7 months) and to the fact we'd never had to share such a small space (it was more or less three people in a studio-size apartment) for that amount of time, though I probably don't count since the trip is what opened my eyes to behaviour I'd seen but ignored. We communicated pretty well and divided chores up and both of us were/are pretty honest people, so we were honest and open about what was and wasn't okay. I saw more of him than I did the first month I visited, and I do think that those long visits allowed us more of a chance to see one another, though perhaps for me to see more of him. I still felt like a guest in his home, even being his SO, so I was on good behaviour as best as I could manage with everything else that was going on. However, it was that two month trip that told me I couldn't get married to him and he was unlikely to ever change from the very things that were destroying our relationship when apart, so in that respect, I do think sometimes it takes being there, with them, in person, for a period of time to see certain behaviours or to at least determine starting and stopping points for behaviours that surface when apart from each other.

[Bethypoo]

I agree with some exceptions. I think you can know someone emotionally to the fullest with out living with them. BUT i think you learn more about their dirty little habits when you liove with them. I never noticed that Chris grinds his teeth as much as he did until I lived with him. Or how much warhammer stuff he actually owned. Or that he didnt eat bell peppers.

So I dont think you are missing out on detrminetal things if you dont live together. but you definalty get to decide if they can live with your little habits (or vice versa)

[iHeartt]

Exactly Beth! Yes, emotionally I think you can know someone to the fullest without living with them, but the little habits. Even mine (I tend to leave empty containers in the fridge till next time I open it) drive him crazy!!
I'm hoping that the amount of time I've spent with him is enough for me to have learned (or seen some, now that I know when he's grumpy & how to tell!) his living behaviors as well as he, mine. Doesn't matter now, I'm moving in with him in 5 weeks and we will learn them all!!!!

[MattDavies86]

I think there are habits you will only see on certain occasions or in certain situations, it would be impossible to see everything in a couple of years or months to be honest, but that doesn't change who you or they are, they're more things to learn, getting to know each other , I was fortunate, for my month holiday to Thailand, I met my SO on the 4th day, and literally lived with her for the rest of the holiday in her apartment, moved my suitcase in and everything lol, so I've got a taste of what it would be like to live with her, and it was great , ok we didn't have to go to work, that's one reality that will change, but that's fine, the though of her being the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night is...epic

[iHeartt]

I have to agree, it is wonderful kissing my SO goodnight & good morning!