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Pissed off with a friend during packing period... not in a mood to fight.

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    Pissed off with a friend during packing period... not in a mood to fight.

    Ok.
    I just arrived home after meeting with my group of girl friends. We are all part of a big group of friends but once in a while the girls meet to catch up and tell all the dirty details we don't tell our guy friends.

    This was kind of a farewell thing, to meet only them before going away for good. Before continuing I should mention that I'm stressed and I get irritated easily and I would appreciate some comprehension.

    Well, then we were talking about my farewell picnic next saturday where I invited more than 20 people. I'm sort of a hippy-sharing person so I just made a FB event mentioning it would be nice if everyone could bring something with them. I was not planning to do a brunch or a fancy lunch at the parc, but just us hanging out. We're 20 people but Im sure we were not going to end up with 20 french fries packages. I mentioned it on the event, but yesterday a girl (B) and her boyfriend told me it would be good if I could tell them what to bring. I said I could write a post asking people to write there what are they are going to bring so that everyone could see, but I cannot decide for them (of course...). So then B. brought the subject up again and they were mocking me about everyone taking beer and stuff but no real food, or no sweets, whatever. I started to get annoyed: I'm really good at picnic's meaning that I've been in several big picnics and everything turned out well because in good faith everyone always tries to be creative. They continuing this, specially B, and I told her: "what do you want me to do?!" and I was all like "I did what you asked, so what are you telling me to do?" and I thought I was clear when yesterday and today I told her "yeaaaah, okay, maybe you're right, I will do the post!". I was not being snarky. I was asking what the hell was she asking me or suggesting me to do! But I guess people always take this ironically and never answer.

    She really irritated me and the others girls too because I was saying: we don't aaaall need to eat 4 eggs each, it's kinda random, just take what you can and not spend much and we'll be fine and I guess for them this was too "blasé". I don't even have the time to think about something so trivial because I'm so nervous with everything and honestly I don't care what we eat. But I followed a good suggestion and the girl continued yelling at me.

    Of course then I did the same and the others were looking and the girl said "I don't want to talk to you" even though I was literally asking her what was bothering her. She didn't answered.
    Then we had our rides. B, me and other girl were in the car. I asked her "so... can I talk to you?" (really putting my pride aside) and she ignored me and started talking with the other girl. During all the way to the car and then to my house they were talking the two of them totally ignoring me when I had tried to forget she was being very unkind and tried to say "let's turn the page and forget this". If I wasn't afraid of being alone at night I would much rather prefer to go by bus. It was like I was not there. Until the car I actually stand behind them, because they "forgot" a *friend* was there.

    I know I was also unkind and totally disproportionated the situation and so did she but she didn't admited it. I was trying to, but the girl shut me up and cut me off and started texting at the table, which is also so rude. I tried to explain this when I said I was not acting snarky, but rather understanding what the heck were we fighting about. She ignored me. The. whole. time.

    I'm so upset. I can forget this, but she can't. I don't want someone like that at my picnic. She always thinks she is right and always has to have the final word, so everyone else is a stupid for her. (Like when I tried to explain what was the withdrawal bleeding vs. period and she said my doctor was not speaking true (and she studies science, but ok....)

    What do you do in this situations? what do you think I should do? Im really bad at fighting because I rarely do, but I don't really understand the logic of "I'm not answering you" when someone is trying to solve a very childish and stupid conflict. Can you just take yourself out of the conversation??! Or end the conversation when someone has something to say???! It's not like I was mistreating her or something, so I don't think it's polite to do this, just because you want to feel angry.

    The other girls were trying not to be part of the conflict but seriously some help would be handy.

    Just to finish this: They were so condescending with me talking about we'll end up with 20 bottles of beer and nothing more. They were talking as if I never did a picnic, like I was 10 or something. There is a whole part of me they don't know. It's not even about it but for god sake, Im a picnic fan, I go to picnics lots of time and I don't need people mocking my choices. Suggestions? perfect, I accept them when I agree with them. About the rest I had no idea what the hell was that.

    #2
    Okay this reminds me of what actually happened to me and my "best friends".... After prom, So well we had a nice time at prom and such pictures taked and so on... After like a week everything was fine but I did get upset on one thing, On one of the pictures, Us three taken I was cropped out of it and only my two friends together and it was like I wasn't even there, In all honestly.. I was really upset and sad that I just plained ignored them as they didn't really think of me as a friend it turns out at a time EVEN they had a big fight and I told both of there sides but not causing a problem as they was having bad problems and moments and I stuck by them, It turns out I was JUST a friend and no one when they talked it was just them and I just stand there alone most of the time... And well I didn't talk to them for a lonnnnng time... I think around 6months ish I started to talk to them abit and well it was fine but I don't really want anything to do with them at all...

    But as a person who really can't make friends that easily it actually took me about 2-3 years to make these and trust them enough and well you seem to have enough friends under your belt I think you should just i dunno get on with what you want to do, She's being a child not you you shouldn't get down to her level, let her be the child and if you want as bonus you can even tell your other friends to go somewhere else without them two knowing honestly I don't like people being annoying childish all i can say is just say it straight to her if she doesn't then just get on with it i guess lol people are like this you just need to let them know your life won't stop because of them and she's kinda showing signs of being abit of a bitch right now xD

    Just be happy and keep calm!

    Also please don't take all of it serious most of what i said because I don't want you to really lose friends here.

    I was just getting some story and some insight of how im thinking of this moment/problem you might be having

    I hope SOME of what i say is helpful, Take care okay? o:

    Comment


      #3
      In all honesty, if she was a good friend and had your best interests in mind she would understand that it's JUST a BBQ and to bring whatever. You made the proper assumption that adults should be able to use their judgement and pick a food to bring to a casual picnic. If it were me I would have used the "girl time" to ask the girls what they were bringing and then make my choice that way.

      You didn't do anything wrong. She's acting like a baby. I'd just move on and enjoy the last bit of your time

      Comment


        #4
        The girl must be kidding me!!!!!!!!!!! I decided to text her saying ''let's admit we were both acting stupid, because I do admit I was no good" and then I tried to apologize and she continuing saying she talked with the other girls, which said *I* was the one who started the fight. Ok, let's admit I did it: I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE HERE! what do I get? Should someone beg for forgiveness? Because that's what I'm doing. I do it because she's my friend and I don't care if I swallow my pride. But I don't want her there if she is pissed with me, I'd prefer she was not there and I wouldn't have to think about that. But not having her there implies I have to explain everyone else why isn't she there. I have no clue what to do.

        I know I overreact. I told her that. But I overreacted here because, again, she talked agressive with me when the others were doing suggestions in a calm voice. She thinks she was a scape goat. I hate people who don't listen. Im not asking for an apology, but just for a turn of page.

        Comment


          #5
          Don't talk to her then.

          Comment


            #6
            Childish behaviour. What on earth does she want then if an apology isn't acceptable to her.
            I get where you are coming from.
            Is it possible to just ignore her at the picnic and concentrate on the 19 other people?

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you guys! That's what I'll do. I think things are better, but who knows. I will focus on the rest of the group and hope it's fine,,,

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