Denied entry into UK on second visit

[InnocenceWildx]

My fiancee and I have been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years now. He is in the UK, and I in Maryland. When I went to visit him for the second time this past July, I was denied entry for lack of ties back to the US. No longer in school and had been recently unemployed, although I had managed to save up a significant amount of money for a few months stay. Either way, it happened, and it's set us back major. Because now I CANNOT ever visit him ever again unless I have a visa. This whole situation has put such a significant amount of stress on us. Tension, too.

It was a year before we met for the first time. He came here and stayed for three months. Four months later, I went there to visit him for Christmas. Six months later, I tried again and was denied entry. One month later, he came here for three weeks, in which we became engaged, and just went home four days ago. He recently finished University and is also unemployed. Money is only but a dream in our relationship now, and time seems to be the only thing ahead of us. All I see is a lot of time apart. Probably more than six months, which was extremely difficult to get through the first time. In order for me to move there, whether it be on a fiance visa or a spousal if we choose to marry here first, he has to be making 18600 pounds a year in order to sponsor me.

This has proven to be no easy task.

Please bestow upon me your great and mighty wisdom. I'm not asking for anything specifically, just some form of encouragement that reassures me there WILL BE a time when we close the distance. I love him, but each time we see each other I have a hard time transitioning back to the online and text communication. We're all different online than we are in person, no matter how many CAPS or emoticons we type into a message to show our inflection. I just....don't know how to cope with it all right now. My fiancee is perfect to me in every way shape and form, but he isn't very insightful and can't do much else but kiss me and rub my hair and tell me it will all be okay. Even that, he cannot do over the internet.

I'm just a grumpy mess.

[princessmaria]

I'm so sorry.
My SO was denied entry into the US this summer for the same reason. I know how devastating that feels! Why isn't it possible for him to immigrate to the US instead of having you move there? It's harder to get into the US, but if you immigrating there is no longer an option, you two can look into him coming out there for you.

[squeeker]

I have not been denied entry in the UK, though have always been nervous at immigrations that I would be.. and I always had a tie back home, whether it was work, or this past time that I was attending university in the fall. However, I can relate to money being the only thing stopping us from closing the distance AND the fact that it's going to take WAY LONGER than 6 months before we can close the distance. It'll take us a few years at least. We are working towards a future where we don't have to struggle and it will be worth it. But it doesn't make it any less difficult to get through. It would make it much harder to close the distance if one of you gets denied at the border, I guess ties to your home country is the most important thing and money to support yourself the second thing.

I wish you much luck, wisdom, and PATIENCE during this time. You can make it through this long period of distance and if he's the one for you, it'll be worth it, and you won't have an option but to get through it, raise enough money.. whether that means going back to university and getting a better job to raise the money even if it takes you longer in the future (but at least there's more hope than raising money on minimum wage) or some other way. You can do this.

[InnocenceWildx]

Thank you. Another thing that has been getting me flustered is the option of going to school, or lack thereof. I WANT to go to school. However, I would need to work in order to save up to attend. I don't even have a dime to go towards schooling. There was never any fund for me growing up, and there's no way I can muster up enough scholarships. Loans loans loans, sure. But BECAUSE of my long distance relationship, I don't want to have the burden of paying off my loans while trying to close the distance. Aaron has his own loans to pay for university. Right now, I'm with my grandparents because my mom has moved on and left me and I can't afford an apartment. I'm only eighteen, I have minimal job experience. I want my relationship to work. I just don't know how to manage everything or what the right steps I should take are. I feel like I'm looking for a black or white answer, a yes or a no, but the truth is.....I don't really know the question. My life seems to be one big Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at the moment, without the consolation of it being rebuilt into perfect order at the end.

I want the dream house. I want the dream job. I want babies running around and at least a dozen cats. But I don't want to have to wait until I'm 40 to get started, you know?

[InnocenceWildx]

I'm so sorry.
My SO was denied entry into the US this summer for the same reason. I know how devastating that feels! Why isn't it possible for him to immigrate to the US instead of having you move there? It's harder to get into the US, but if you immigrating there is no longer an option, you two can look into him coming out there for you.

It's hasn't been ruled out as an option just yet. It's a matter of him being able to meet that financial requirement. We haven't ever looked into the option of him coming here, though, and I'm not really sure why. As much as we want to be together, I just don't think either of us really want to be HERE. If it comes down to it, I guess we'll have to consider it an option. He's graduated University for Creative Media and ICT so I'm hoping that even if he gets a job that doesn't make enough money, he'll eventually move up the line. Time is really my worst nightmare, right now. I feel like I'm treading water instead of working toward an actual goal.

[kittyo9]

I am going to recommend a few things here:

1) Look into community colleges. It is actually very common for students to take their first two years of undergraduate school at community colleges and then transfer (along with the credits) to a private school for the remaining two years. This reduces costs dramatically (especially if you are prone to changing your major in your early college years) but still gives you the opportunity to explore what you're interested in, earn college credit, and work on saving up money in the mean time.

2) Start working somewhere. Even retail is better than nothing. If that's not an option because of transportation or something, see if you have family, neighbors, or friends who have odd jobs you can do. Babysitting and tutoring are decent ways to make some cash. If you need to, take a semester or year off before you start college courses so that you have time to save up money.

3) Please, please, have patience. It is difficult for everyone to adjust to being apart again, and I mean this with no disrespect. If this is the relationship you want to be in for the rest of your life and you are both committed to making it work, then you need to also understand that sometimes you have to spend a lot of time apart to get things sorted in your own lives before you can start a life together.

4) You will have to apply for visas like the rest of us who are not fortunate enough to participate in visa waiver programs. If you'd still like to visit your SO, I would recommend waiting until after you've found employment or enrolled as a student (or both) so that you have those ties to your country. I assume your SO can still participate in the VWP, so I would not be as concerned, but I still recommend having something solid like employment on his end before he tries to visit again.

5) Even if he does not meet the minimum for yearly salary, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) he can also make up for that by having a certain amount in savings, although it's usually a ridiculous amount and would take quite a bit of time to save up.

I hope that you give these some thought (if you haven't already). I know how much it sucks to be denied.

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

I'm sorry to hear you got denied I'm not sure how the UK visas work, but with the US if they dont make enough they can get a sponsor, is that possible at all on the UK side of things?