Closing the distance, new jobs and living together???

[MZVIRGO82]

Hi. I was in your shoes only a few months ago. Now I'm 3000 miles from where I started, living the life I was so afraid of risking back then. I'm living with Luke and it isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Like you, I had also come out of a rather horrible "shacking up" story, so I was very wary.

Several months after taking a new job, living in a new city, and shacking up with my guy, and I'm still standing! In fact, I can't imagine having to do all that without Luke who held me close when the days got really bad/sad. It's quite an adventure.

I say take what we say here, then just do what feels right. And once you do decide, just own your decision. My greatest obstacle was that I kept second-guessing my decision to move in together. Once I got over that insecurity, everything else went a little smoother.

Oh, statistics time! We dated for a puny month before he had to move for work, visited each other six times within one year, moved to him exactly one year after his departure from our city of origin. Good luck and congratulations!

Wow Phoenix, what a story! We have talked and I have made the decision to just take the risk and move together! We both made the decision to apply for these jobs and now that we have them in the same city, why not try living together since it is part of the reason we are relocating anyway.

With that being said, since I did have the horrible experience of living with a s/o, I am more prepared. I figure life is about taking risk and at some point I want to live with him and really get to see how he is everyday and not just when I visit or stay the night at his place.

With that being said, we are meeting in the new city and looking for a place this weekend! I also am looking to finalize the contract for the new job as well. I'm excited, nervous but overall just ready to start my new chapter in life with him!!!

[MZVIRGO82]

I just noticed you were in Tampa- I'm moving to Orlando!!!

[phoenix-]

Yay, Florida! I really enjoyed Orlando. It had a lot of the entertainments and accessibility that I was used to in Vegas. You're gonna have so much fun! And I'm so happy that you guys got to a decision!

[LadyDaemon]

I just noticed you were in Tampa- I'm moving to Orlando!!!

Haha I'm moving to winterpark about 30 min - 1 hour from Orlando. Glad you came to a decision. I've been following your thread I just haven't posted because I don't really have any advice. Phoenix gave the best advice possible. Anyway,enjoy Florida!

[Hollandia]

Wow Phoenix, what a story! We have talked and I have made the decision to just take the risk and move together! We both made the decision to apply for these jobs and now that we have them in the same city, why not try living together since it is part of the reason we are relocating anyway.

With that being said, since I did have the horrible experience of living with a s/o, I am more prepared. I figure life is about taking risk and at some point I want to live with him and really get to see how he is everyday and not just when I visit or stay the night at his place.

With that being said, we are meeting in the new city and looking for a place this weekend! I also am looking to finalize the contract for the new job as well. I'm excited, nervous but overall just ready to start my new chapter in life with him!!!

It would be impossible to get my own place over in NL or vice versa for him in USA. We have started off living together for 3 month intervals at a pop after knowing each other for a year and the first time was a bit daunting but it has been great and better and better each time. I decided to give him his space even while living together. I would take walks or bike rides each day alone and set up my laptop in the bedroom to give him some elbow when he first came home from work sometimes. The apartment is quite small so I don't mind some space sometimes either. I would ask if he was going to be eating dinner with me or he wanted me to go ahead and eat without him when he worked late. I did not wish to shove myself being there down his throat abruptly, we all have our own set of routines. He liked still having his space and even said he liked that I did not try to smother or pressure him to make huge adjustments right away. When my second time came around we had a few discussions about merging our tastes and lifestyles a bit more. We went shopping together for things to add to the apartment. For the third ,we decided that this was now "our" place and created a system of sharing chores and daily tasks. I hope and pray the fourth will be the last temporary one.

The hardest part for me is that it is not my country, it is his. His family and circle of friends are all there. It is not unusual for him to get invited to something that does not include the partner. I on the other hand, don't have a social circle of my own and find myself spending much of my time alone. When I do try to go out around town alone I get frustrated by the constant culture shock. These are just some things you have to work through when you move to your SO's country and move in. It did feel a bit rushed and like playing house in the beginning but these are special circumstances and you have both decided that so it is best not to dwell on it and move forward and enjoy the experiences you are about to share together.

[MZVIRGO82]

Haha I'm moving to winterpark about 30 min - 1 hour from Orlando. Glad you came to a decision. I've been following your thread I just haven't posted because I don't really have any advice. Phoenix gave the best advice possible. Anyway,enjoy Florida!

We are looking at two houses in Winter Park this Friday! I will be working in Orlando and he will be working north of Orlando so Winter Park and Altamonte Springs are two places we are considering living. Thank you for your well wishes, I appreciate it!

[MZVIRGO82]

It would be impossible to get my own place over in NL or vice versa for him in USA. We have started off living together for 3 month intervals at a pop after knowing each other for a year and the first time was a bit daunting but it has been great and better and better each time. I decided to give him his space even while living together. I would take walks or bike rides each day alone and set up my laptop in the bedroom to give him some elbow when he first came home from work sometimes. The apartment is quite small so I don't mind some space sometimes either. I would ask if he was going to be eating dinner with me or he wanted me to go ahead and eat without him when he worked late. I did not wish to shove myself being there down his throat abruptly, we all have our own set of routines. He liked still having his space and even said he liked that I did not try to smother or pressure him to make huge adjustments right away. When my second time came around we had a few discussions about merging our tastes and lifestyles a bit more. We went shopping together for things to add to the apartment. For the third ,we decided that this was now "our" place and created a system of sharing chores and daily tasks. I hope and pray the fourth will be the last temporary one.

The hardest part for me is that it is not my country, it is his. His family and circle of friends are all there. It is not unusual for him to get invited to something that does not include the partner. I on the other hand, don't have a social circle of my own and find myself spending much of my time alone. When I do try to go out around town alone I get frustrated by the constant culture shock. These are just some things you have to work through when you move to your SO's country and move in. It did feel a bit rushed and like playing house in the beginning but these are special circumstances and you have both decided that so it is best not to dwell on it and move forward and enjoy the experiences you are about to share together.

Thank you so much for your advice, I hope everything goes well with you and your s/o...

In regards to my s/o and I-Since we are both new to the city where we are moving, I think it will be equally stressful, exciting, even daunting for us to make adjustments vs one of us moving to a place where the other has established friendships, routines ect.

Right now we are focusing on compromising and figuring out exactly where we want to live and all the logistics that comes with moving and adjusting to being in a new city together.

[LadyDaemon]

We are looking at two houses in Winter Park this Friday! I will be working in Orlando and he will be working north of Orlando so Winter Park and Altamonte Springs are two places we are considering living. Thank you for your well wishes, I appreciate it!

Yeah,my fiance is going to school at Full Sail University You're quite welcome.

[MZVIRGO82]

***UPDATE**

I moved to Florida November 9th and started my new job officially on 11/12. My s/o and I found a great house in Lake Mary, FL and moved in 11/15!

It has been a complete whirlwind, but all in all we are extremely happy to have closed the distance and begin our lives together! My s/o still travels for work, but it feel good to be able to see him every few days and every weekend day. The new job is going well and I am adjusting to being able to wear flipflops and summer clothes in November!

I am also looking forward to my s/o and i spending time with his family for Thanksgiving and also flying to my hometown to spend Christmas with my family! I am extremely happy and grateful to be with such a great person and look forward to what our future brings

Thanks to all who wished me well or had something to say within this post, I appreciate it and wish you all the best in your relationships!