Go to college near him?

[nicole_alexis1231]

My boyfriend, Brandyn, and I have been together for over a year and a half now. We've always talked about getting married one day and being together always though we are just in high school. This year we are seniors and I've been looking at colleges near him. He is joining the Marines after college so I want to have at least those four years not long-distance. Brandyn isn't the only reason I want to be near him. I also just hate where I live and have always loved where he lives since I was little... But still, he is a big reason why I want to move. Is that bad? I've never had a dream college and there are plenty good colleges that offer what I want near him. Is it bad to go be with him and finally close our distance while I can?

[hellojamie]

In my honest experience, moving to be with someone has a lot of risks. I planned on moving to be with my high school sweetheart, but we broke up due to him cheating. After that, I leapfrogged through a lot of relationships in college until I finally met my SO. Not that I had a million boyfriends, but I would date someone for several months, it wouldn't work out, and there would conveniently be a new boy to date. That's one of the best things about college- you meet so many new people. Not only that, but you're discovering who you are and the things you like and your own passions. You may not be the same person in four years, and you may not be attracted to the same people. I thought I was going to marry my high school sweetheart, and I was devastated when he dumped me for a girl that would "put out more" as he so kindly put it. But I'm so glad it worked out that way. I never in a million years expected to be madly in love with a down-home country boy, or to ever discuss things like hay seasons and calf-pulling. But that's the person I am now.

I'm not saying it can't work out if you guys want to be together. But college is an exciting new place. The school you choose to invest your tuition and time in should be one you choose exclusively because YOU want to go there, and one that you wouldn't mind staying at if you and your SO did break up before you graduated.

The best of luck to you, either way. College is awesome, have fun!

[Swederica]

I can tell you that i did that.
I moved three weeks ago to go to college near my SO.
I took a huge risk however and would not recommend it to everyone. Ohh and recommended if you do it is to try your best to get in to the same college as him.

[Élan]

The school you choose to invest your tuition and time in should be one you choose exclusively because YOU want to go there, and one that you wouldn't mind staying at if you and your SO did break up before you graduated.

^This! I knew a couple in college where one person had gone to the specific school just to be with their partner.... and they broke up. On top of that, they had registered for many of the same classes. You could cut the tension with a knife! I'd try to pick a school that you'd like to stay at even if you break up, otherwise you might be in for a miserable time. I don't think it's a bad idea, though. Just be careful in your selection.

[Swederica]

That is true.
But at the same time you gotta take some risks in life too
It shouldn't be a reckless risktaking tho.

[loveonspeedial]

Im moving to be with my SO in April, she's attending school in Orlando. I'm afraid but it's worth the risk!

[noodle]

Well I am myself lookin at University who have a exchange partnership with my SOs college, but considerin my SO is over the ocean and financially I cant afford studyin in the states, I cant study all the time with him. So if I get to go over there and be at the same college he is it would be for one semester only, so the risk of bein together eventhough we might have broken up is not there ^^

[Silviar]

I wouldn't make it first reason to move near him, but if there's a college near him you really like and fits your needs - and is in your financial expectations - then I'd say go for it.

[Allie.CanCali]

My SO is thinking of going to college near me, a total country change. Of course I want him to come to college here because I want to be with him, however, I know it has a lot of risks. Something could go wrong (although I highly doubt it) you should always expect the unexpected. In my honest opinion, you should do what's best for you when it comes to college/university, because it's what decides your future. Think long and hard before you make a decision and try to figure out what's best for you.

Good luck! =)

[Bluestars]

^^What everyone else has said.

If you do make the move, you should definitely go out of your way to make your own set of friends and have your own life apart from your boyfriend in case you do break up. Also, one of the biggest questions in my book would be if I could afford it. Personally, I could not afford out-of-state tuition, but if you could, then I say go with it

Btw, my boyfriend chose his college based on where his girlfriend was going when she graduated, and she broke up with him right before school started. It was awkward for him because they had one class together, but really it wasn't a bad decision for him because he didn't want to go the school in his hometown. He doesn't seem to regret it.

Honestly, a lot of us on here are going to have to move somewhere unknown if we want to be with our SO, and there is always a risk that it will not work out. Having a life outside of your partner when you move is also something that you should do regardless. But I also suggest talking to your SO about it and see how he feels.

[nicole_alexis1231]

thank you, everyone! <3 i have talked to him many times before about it and he is okay with it. he just wants me to go to the school that is my perfect school and i have found THREE actually. all affordable and wonderful schools! i already know that i should have my own life apart from him if we do, *gulp*, break up... after talking to so many people and reading all of your advice, i think im going to take the risk! if we do break up, it may take awhile to get over it, but eventually ill be okay, im sure... i have always loved florida and the people and just... well... everything about it. im not planning on going to the EXACT same school as him but ones that are within a half hour-hour away. just wish us luck as i wish all of your relationships luck too! again, thank you!

[Mio]

Think about it, but somethings are worth jumping for it.

[Snowy.Winter]

I'm goin to be honest and say that I'm thinking of doing this. There's a University near my SO and I'm about 60% sure I'm planning to go there, one of the main reasons is because of my SO. I'd never even wanted to go to University, but I want to be near him, and by the time I'll get over there, we'll be together five and a half years. It'll be a risk leaving everything behind, but it's a decision I've thought about and still am thinking about it.

Good luck with everything!

[paulawriteslove]

If you're going to away for colleges don't move to the one near him just because. You should go to a college that offers what you want. But follow your dreams! Best of luck!

[Alaina]

I am dealing with a very similar situation. My SO goes to college five hours away and we have already done a year of long-distance. I am contemplating transferring closer to him so we can be closer together but don't know if I should. He to is going in the Marines right after college so I am in the same exact boat as you I think staying close together would be amazing!