Preparing for close distance ruined by parents

[Delacroix]

Parents will not always like what their adult children do. That is the nature of things. You don't have to talk much, just inform them, and tell your so that the visit will happen.

Thanks so much for your all response.

[Delacroix]

I think you need help them get over it. Do you want them ruling your life till you are 50? It is just a visit. I see no reason that you have presented for this to even be an issue. If my Mom had told me not to go visit my SO the first time, I would have said something like this. "Look I love you and I appreciate you have raised me and all you have done for me. It is time for me to grow up and make decisions for myself. They won't all be right and some might be wrong, but in this case I need to do this. I still respect your opinions but this choice is mine and I am making it. I hope you can respect my decision, but please understand, I am going."

Thanks to you too a lot. I didn't travel before somewhere so far like this (by distance) and reaction of mom was how I can suddenly go somewhere like that for 10 days not knowing anything and their doubting in me... but yes I will change this 'cause I didn't have support from anyone and I can regret that I didn't come here earlier just to receive a bit of support from someone because that could really help me.
Will see what will be these days 'cause my SO is not responding me now and she is desperate.

[snow]

Thank you for such a nice and motivational answer. Yes, you're right in everything what you say but sometimes it's a bit hard when your parents still by some things "in their mind" like it's 17th century.

If you have the money, just do it. If you are sure you love her and want to meet her, do it.
Parents will forever be worried about their kids and no one can blame them for it. You are their most precious creation.

My advice is to just do it. My parents told me that if I left they would find a way to make me stay, they would disown me, etc. etc.. I did it anyways, because I was 23 and old enough to take risks with my own money. Now we are engaged and my parents respect me more.

[Hollandia]

Thanks to you too a lot. I didn't travel before somewhere so far like this (by distance) and reaction of mom was how I can suddenly go somewhere like that for 10 days not knowing anything and their doubting in me... but yes I will change this 'cause I didn't have support from anyone and I can regret that I didn't come here earlier just to receive a bit of support from someone because that could really help me.
Will see what will be these days 'cause my SO is not responding me now and she is desperate.

I hope it all works out. Please keep us updated.

[Delacroix]

If you have the money, just do it. If you are sure you love her and want to meet her, do it.
Parents will forever be worried about their kids and no one can blame them for it. You are their most precious creation.

My advice is to just do it. My parents told me that if I left they would find a way to make me stay, they would disown me, etc. etc.. I did it anyways, because I was 23 and old enough to take risks with my own money. Now we are engaged and my parents respect me more.

Thank you for support.
Just read your info about meeting and that's amazing. Wish you all the best.

[Delacroix]

I hope it all works out. Please keep us updated.

Once again thanks. I will.

[emsimes]

Hey Delacroix,
I just want to add to what the other posters said on here. You are 21. You have the right to make your own decisions, even if your parents are against it! In a way, I know how you feel. I have always been very respectful of my parents, and I never disobeyed them. This went on for quite some time, even after I turned 18. I would always listen to them, no matter the circumstances, because I was afraid to stand up to them. I was also 21 when I went to visit my SO in Germany for the first time. My mom was extremely against it, and was basically trying to force me to stay home. It was at that moment when I realized that I can't do everything my parents want just to make them happy. I deserve to be happy, too! In the end, I stood up to my mom and told her that I was going to Germany, whether she liked it or not. She wasn't happy at first, but she came to terms with it eventually. I am happy to say that she is now completely supportive of my relationship

It may not always be easy to stand up to your parents, but if you're standing up for something or someone that is important to you, it is definitely worth it. Good luck!

[Delacroix]

Hey Delacroix,
I just want to add to what the other posters said on here. You are 21. You have the right to make your own decisions, even if your parents are against it! In a way, I know how you feel. I have always been very respectful of my parents, and I never disobeyed them. This went on for quite some time, even after I turned 18. I would always listen to them, no matter the circumstances, because I was afraid to stand up to them. I was also 21 when I went to visit my SO in Germany for the first time. My mom was extremely against it, and was basically trying to force me to stay home. It was at that moment when I realized that I can't do everything my parents want just to make them happy. I deserve to be happy, too! In the end, I stood up to my mom and told her that I was going to Germany, whether she liked it or not. She wasn't happy at first, but she came to terms with it eventually. I am happy to say that she is now completely supportive of my relationship

It may not always be easy to stand up to your parents, but if you're standing up for something or someone that is important to you, it is definitely worth it. Good luck!

Hi Emsimes,
It seems you understand me very good 'cause I feel and felt the same and thank you for that. For my mom it was same... forcing me to stay at home and telling me how I'm naive and that in Russia can happen something bad,that is not secure and etc. A bit strange(to be polite) reasons...

Anyway thank you for wishes.

[talim]

I totally agree with everyone's posts. Standing up to your parents may be hard, but they need to realize that you are adult capable of making your own decisions, even if they don't like them. Also, I kinda know how your girlfriend might feel, I think that to her it may look like you are putting your parents before her. I'm sure she will appreciate when you show her you won't let them stop you from meeting her... My ex was older than you, he was 27, and he broke up with me because of his mother's opinion... Heh, I'm sure you are not like him! I wish you the best, you seem to be very nice person Can't wait to find out how it will go!

(Oh, and I see you are from Croatia. Beautiful country, I was there for holiday three times. I like that your language is very similar to czech )

[Moon]

Just go, man. Yeah it's true that you might not quite know what you're doing, but none of us did, the first time we traveled alone internationally. Then you figure it out, it isn't hard, and after that, you'll know what you're doing Sure something bad could happen while you're in Russia, but something bad could happen in Croatia too, or Canada, or the Bahamas, or London, bad things happen everywhere, just be smart and keep your eyes open, and do some research before you go, so you'll know what to look out for. At 21, it's time to be an adult and strike out on your own, if you listen to your mother forever, you'll never get anything accomplished, it's time to just do it.

[Delacroix]

I totally agree with everyone's posts. Standing up to your parents may be hard, but they need to realize that you are adult capable of making your own decisions, even if they don't like them. Also, I kinda know how your girlfriend might feel, I think that to her it may look like you are putting your parents before her. I'm sure she will appreciate when you show her you won't let them stop you from meeting her... My ex was older than you, he was 27, and he broke up with me because of his mother's opinion... Heh, I'm sure you are not like him! I wish you the best, you seem to be very nice person Can't wait to find out how it will go!

(Oh, and I see you are from Croatia. Beautiful country, I was there for holiday three times. I like that your language is very similar to czech )

Thank you for support and for nice words Talim. Sure I'm not like him 'cause it's hilarious(not in a good way) that someone can be like that in his 27 especially if he was same from Czech Republic.

(Thank you for this too. Country like country with good coast and beaches other is so so... Language is very similar 'cause it's same slavic language as your but branches are different. Czech-west, Croatian-south)

[Delacroix]

Just go, man. Yeah it's true that you might not quite know what you're doing, but none of us did, the first time we traveled alone internationally. Then you figure it out, it isn't hard, and after that, you'll know what you're doing Sure something bad could happen while you're in Russia, but something bad could happen in Croatia too, or Canada, or the Bahamas, or London, bad things happen everywhere, just be smart and keep your eyes open, and do some research before you go, so you'll know what to look out for. At 21, it's time to be an adult and strike out on your own, if you listen to your mother forever, you'll never get anything accomplished, it's time to just do it.

It's nice to see the supporting from everyone and one new person like you "Sure something bad could happen while you're in Russia, but something bad could happen in Croatia too, or Canada, or the Bahamas, or London, bad things happen everywhere." this is totally true and I always said this too.
One more time thanks to you and everyone other.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

If you don't go, you will regret it the rest of your life. When my son was in the Navy, he was stationed in the UK, at London, and he invited me to come to visit him and his wife, but I had just moved with my daughter and her family from Virginia to Arkansas, and was looking for a job to help the family, and to be able to get my own place, so I didn't go. Well, he's out of the Navy now, and I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I have always regretted that I let obligations and fear of flying overseas prevent me from going to London and having a wonderful adventure. Instead of photos and souvenirs and happy memories, I have regrets.

In your case, you are young and healthy, and not tied down. You are of age, so you don't need your parent's permission. You also have a woman you love and want to get to know better. Go after her! She should be your priority now, not your parents. Get busy making your plans and make it happen! And the best of luck to you and your girlfriend.

[MKMS]

I think you need help them get over it. Do you want them ruling your life till you are 50? It is just a visit. I see no reason that you have presented for this to even be an issue. If my Mom had told me not to go visit my SO the first time, I would have said something like this. "Look I love you and I appreciate you have raised me and all you have done for me. It is time for me to grow up and make decisions for myself. They won't all be right and some might be wrong, but in this case I need to do this. I still respect your opinions but this choice is mine and I am making it. I hope you can respect my decision, but please understand, I am going."

can you please tell my BF this!!! he needs to undertsand that parents arent always right and hes an adult now.

my BF is very respectful of his parents, its just how he is. so when his mother was trying to force him to move 1500 miles away from us he felt obligated, because she already bought a ticket and got him a job!!! everyone i know thinks hes acting like a boy by listening to his mom not a man. he did what she wanted out of obligation and she's happy but he hates it. hes only been gone a month and cant stand the distance from me so hes coming home anyway. he is still worried hell upset his mother, but he told me "why should i do what makes everyone else happy, should i just give up on the best thing ill ever have in my life for them? no."

good luck and its just a visit.... isnt even moving! just go!!! youll be happy you did. and i do understand her being upset but she should at least talk to you....thats a bit sad she just cut off all communication