nervous about living together

[eeelaynuh]

Some may call it cold feet.
I call it common sense.

I am nervous as hell to be closing the distance with my SO.

First, let me say that he is the most wonderful man I've ever met. He literally completes me. We are perfect for each other and compliment each other in so many ways. I can't imagine my life without him, and surprised by how well we've both been handling the distance (except for today).

in 2 months, we will close the distance. he is first going to fit whatever he can in his car and make his way to where i am in central california. we shall both party hard at my harry potter going away party, and then together we will move all our crap in a UHAUL and haul it to LA. we have yet to find a place to live, but we know we are going to be living together. we made this decision because we were tired of the distance, and living 30+ minutes away in LA was even too far for us after being apart for so many years.

I am incredibly excited to get to go to bed in the arms of the man I love, and wake up next to him. BUT, like any normal human being, I have reservations about this. I have once previously lived with an SO for a few months. he moved in out of convenience, but not out of love. So it didn't really work out.

My SO and I have agreed that if this living situation doesn't work out, then we will move out and try again later. We have several things going for us, when we get mad, we have really great communication. We can usually talk our way out of a fight in about 30min to an hour, depending on the severity.

BUT, i am still so worried that going from never seeing each other to ALWAYS seeing each other, might be a negative strain on our relationship.

Any advice to calm me down?

[Heavenly_Love12]

Congratulations on being able to close the distance soon! I'm sure you're both really excited and I think it's normal to be nervous. I don't have any first hand advice since I have never lived with a boyfriend but I do think that it's good you have some worries, it shows that you're not just going into this with blind hope. I think that the first step would be to talk to him about what you expect out of living together. If you've spent an extended period of time together in person, then you should have an idea of each other's cleaning styles, cooking skills, sleep patterns, etc. but it's always good to discuss those things too. I don't think you'll place a strain on your relationship by living together. There are plenty of couples who don't get to see each other as often, even if they're CD, and when they move in together, they are fine. You also have to keep in mind that you won't be around each other all the time due to working and other life needs.

I think that you will be fine, just try and stay positive! You don't know how it will be until it happens and you could be worrying for nothing. My SO and I are planning to marry and then live together. While I have some worries about both of those things, I keep in mind that we will do whatever it takes to make it work! The amount of devotion you're willing to put in will directly correlate to how things go for you two. If you're both willing to make living together work, then any issues that come up should be resolved. Best of luck with everything!

[lucybelle]

Moving in with someone is always scary. Take it one day at a time and PICK YOUR BATTLES. Not everything is worth fighting over.

[differentcountries]

You don't have to (and should not) always be together. Create some space for your individuality.Even when living under one roof it is good to have something in which your so is not involved, weather it is work, workout, friends or hobbies.

The practical stuff matters. I reccomend finding what you like the best (or hate the least) and devide chores along those lines. I will be responsable for ironing and mending clothes until I die, because I am good with tasks like that. My husband usually hang clothes to dry because the the stairs are a bit too much for me. I wash the bathroom and kitchen, and he does all the floors etc.We don't do the it is your turn stuff, apart from dinner.

[eeelaynuh]

thanks! all of those are super helpful!

[Hollandia]

Just give each other space from time to time. We have a pretty small one bedroom apartment with little room to not be in each other's face most of the day. I like to take walks or bike rides when the weather is nice and I am not afraid to grab my laptop and chill out alone in the bedroom for a few hours sometimes. You just learn to act like cats do that share their living space. They eat together, they sleep together, they play together.....but sometimes they go find their own space. Don't be afraid to let your mate know sometimes you like your alone time.

[eeelaynuh]

awesome! i talked to my SO and he agreed with all of you too. he was really serious about wanting to set up our own time for ourselves whether it be creatively, or just sitting there. (:

thanks everyone!