Who would move?

[squiddie]

So I just read an interview with Michelle Rhee, who is the chancellor of public schools in Washington, DC. She recently got engaged to the mayor of Sacramento, California, which as we know here is quite the distance. The part about her relationship is near the end of the interview, with regards to their impending marriage and what they'll do to close the distance. You can read the interview here.

Let me just tell you this -- not a single person in Sacramento has implied that because Kevin [Johnson] and I are getting married that he's going to be moving to D.C. Not a single person. And it pisses me off to no end that people assume that I'm going to be the one to move, or that of course I would have to move. People say, well, her husband is there, so of course she would have to move. And I say "really?" What century are you living in?

So it just lead me to be curious. In your relationship, who would be the one to move? Why? Do you feel there is an expectation or pressure for one of you to move over the other?

For us, it will be me who moves. But that is because, as I work in health care, my career options are more flexible. There are going to be hospitals or doctor's offices that need lab techs everywhere, or I can even go into research or work for the government with my degree. He's a mine engineer; that limits him to a few regions of the country.

Fortunately, neither of our families really placed any expectations on us...though I think they'd wish he'd be the one moving, just because he is so far away from our families.

[Jellybean]

In your relationship, who would be the one to move? I think I will be
Why? Because there arent many uni's around where I live, where as he lives in a big city lol so makes more sense then him moving to famerland
Do you feel there is an expectation or pressure for one of you to move over the other? Im not too sure on this one as its still 2 years away, and I dont really know if im definately moving and such since atm its just a nice plan in our heads xD

[noodle]

I think I will be the one moving.
Why? Cause first of all I always wanted to move abroad. Also it'd be easier for me cause of the language. I already speak English, he doesnt speak German ^^
I as well think that it's easier for me to let go of friends and family. And probably due to me already travellin a lot and stuff I can adapt to other cultures pretty quickly Plus I love the american way of life *__*

[Andy]

I'll be the one to move as she has a daughter and a mortgage, and horses and dogs and so on...

Getting a job over there could well prove impossible until I learn the language (which is the hardest European language to learn if your first language is English incidentally... nice :/) and making friends is my other main worry, it's not like she lives in a busy city where I could easily meet lots of new people, she's pretty much in the middle of nowhere...

Luckily it seems that Sam could well be living over there with Elina in a city only half an hour or so away from where Tanja lives and it turns out that Sam and I were separated at birth so that's all good

I think I'm gonna find it mega-hard when the time comes, I often feel like I can't do it when I'm over there. I'm not the sort of person who likes to be away from home, and although Finnish culture isn't exactly worlds away from what I'm used to, it can certainly feel like it sometimes. The things I like aren't particularly popular over there, and I have little or no interest in the things that are.

If Tanja wasn't tied down then positives for her moving here would be that she wouldn't have to learn the language and she could get a job quite easily in I.T. (which is what she studied for) but then we'd have the problem of finding a place while that's all sorted for us out there... so swings and roundabouts I guess... but I've always known it would be me moving. At least I've had plenty of time to think about it all

[sam]

Luckily it seems that Sam could well be living over there with Elina in a city only half an hour or so away from where Tanja lives and it turns out that Sam and I were separated at birth so that's all good

Haha, certainy seems like it


Anyway, I'll be moving to Finland. I have literally no family here other than my mum and am not a very "homey" person. I dont get homesick and wouldnt really miss England or anyone here (other than my mum, who i could visit/she could come visit)
I'd miss football but I have ways of watching that online, if not on TV >: )

I have pretty much the same problems Andy already mentioned. We're in the same boat and yeah.. learning the language is gonna be hard and take time. Without knowing the language I wont get a job. Without a job I wont be able to pay to live there (Yeah, Elina might be able to pay to support the two of us but, I'd feel horrible if it was like that..)

Then there's a load of other silly (sorry Finland ) things that I may have to do if I wanna move to Finland/get permits and all that. Eg - Join the Army there.. O_o


So yeah, no doubt about it. Her moving here would be 23534262576764353746 times easier, but she has family (a big one at that - well, big compared to my family of.. 1 ) there and I couldnt make her leave them. I know how much she loves them and being with them and seeing them often and stuff so yeah.. I wouldnt wanna do that to her.

[annamorgan]

In your relationship, who would be the one to move? Why? Do you feel there is an expectation or pressure for one of you to move over the other?

I'm going to be the one to move, and there's no pressure or anything about it. He moved away and his parents invited me to live with them when I turn 18. Of course we are saving up for our own apartment, but I have family issues and need to move out asap. Everything will work out for the both of us if I am the one who moves.

[Andy]

Then there's a load of other silly (sorry Finland ) things that I may have to do if I wanna move to Finland/get permits and all that. Eg - Join the Army there.. O_o

I thought that too, but apparently it's ONLY if you become a Finnish citizen that you have to do that. You can have permanent residency there without being a citizen, you get almost the same rights as a citizen but you're not allowed to vote nd a couple of other things too which I can't remember off the top of my head, but they were no big deal.

I'm about 90% sure on this but I want to be 100% sure before I even think about moving there - there's no way in hell that I'm joining some Finnish army!

[sam]

there's no way in hell that I'm joining some Finnish army!

My thoughts exactly.. haha

[Erika]

In your relationship, who would be the one to move? Why? It will actually be both of us moving. Ken is in the army, so we will be moving to where ever he is posted to. Luckily, we have some what of a choice to where we get posted, but none of them are near home.

[Talent_2]

In my LDR i think ill be the one to move. Ive always wanted to live on the coast one day and he lives in a beautiful harbour village in cornwall and i love it there! must be fate

[michy]

Who will be the one to move?
This was tough. I adore Scotland and was going there 2x a year before I ever even met Scott, and had always hoped to be able to move there one day. And he's got no real desire to live in America. Scotland seems the obvious choice BUT...
I'm pretty well tied down in the US with two mortgages, and 2 school-age kids who are very close with their dad/my ex. I can't uproot the kids, and they're not really old enough for their mom to be running off to another continent! And Scott doesn't really have any strings tying him down...
The compromise: we're BOTH moving! He's coming to live in the US for about 5-6 years, and after that we'll both move to Scotland together when my kids are older.

It's kinda cool this way... he gets to immerse in my culture for a bit, and then I in his. We'll each get to experience the other's "world" firsthand!

[Moon]

It'll probably be me (The third LFAD Finnish import), although it's far from decided. We have a few years of distance left, I think. My daughter still lives at home although she's 22 next month, and I'd never leave my 11 yr. old Dalmatian behind. My guy is kinda all his mom has, and he has a mortgage. He'd also be so lost here and I'm much more adaptable, but I'd miss my daughter so, so much We're just letting it go for now and seeing what happens as we're both pretty content in our relationship, LDR or not.

[Silviar]

I'm moving to Australia to be with him. It's better for jobs for both of us, and better life, plus it's the lifestyle he and I both prefer over the American lifestyle. MY family is going to be really disappointed, but I kind of haven't talked about it yet since I want to live there on a working holiday visa for a year before we get married.

[Zephii]

I've noticed the tendency for people to expect the chick in the relationship (if there is one/only one) to move. annoys the hell out of me.

Obi and I are trying to do it differently. I'm technically the one moving in that the longest periods of time will be spent in Canada, our first (possibly only) house will be in Canada, and all that jaz. But there will still be years spent back home in Australia. We will return there for me to have our children, and I will want them to spend enough time there to understand that side of their culture and develop relationships with my (very small) side of the family. I want our children to have the best of both worlds and don't honestly believe that moving every few years will be detrimental to their upbringing if approached in the right way. Of course, having the money to do this is another matter, but I'm working on becoming famous haha.

[xMesmerize124]

In your relationship, who would be the one to move? Why? Do you feel there is an expectation or pressure for one of you to move over the other?
In my relationship, unfortunately i would be the one to move, and on top of that half way across the country (California to New York). Why you ask, because he has everything over there (house, 2 jobs, cars, etc) and i just have school (i could transfer if i really wanted to) and my dad. Oddly enough, i don't feel like theres any pressure but its just going to suck packing every single thing that i own and rearranging it back in a new house.