Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Not Sure I can take Disappointment - AGAIN!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Not Sure I can take Disappointment - AGAIN!

    We have been trying to bridge the gap for four years now, and each time I have gotten my hopes up only to have them dashed by cruel fate. It has all hinged upon his schooling and where he can get a degree. Each semester we held our breath that he would get the credits he needed to start a full engineering program, and each year it was a different story from advisors, admissions officers, and staff as to what he needed to get into a program. Last semester I really thought he would be accepted to FSU's engineering so that we would finally be in exactly the same town. NOT!!!! The college admitted him but his degree program told him they can't because he failed too many prerequisites and that he could only try again 8 years from now!!! I feel totally responsible for that because I asked him to miss class for a vacation we took in Oct 2012 and didn't realize attendance was class credit, he failed by those couple attendance points!!! If I hadn't gone on one vacation with him; we would be together right now!

    Now he was just offered a manager position at his engineering/surveying firm which will pay him almost double what he makes now and let him get a surveying degree instead, but he will have to travel to class on Saturdays in Gainesville and stay in our home town for 3 MORE EFFING YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! SIX EFFING HOURS AWAY, ME PROBABLY NOT GETTING TO SEE HIM AS MUCH BECAUSE CLASS IS ON THE WEEKEND!!!

    He has one last chance to get in an engineering program either in Jax or Orly depending on how he does on his Physics 2 with Calculus class. He has struggled like crazy in this class and needs a B for it to count (Fine print says C+ or higher but because apparently his state college doesn't give +/- he must achieve a B). He needs like an 82 or so on the final test to get there. He got an 84 on the first test, but god only knows what this is going to be like!!! It all comes down to this last test.

    If he does get the B and get into the engineering program, he will have to go into debt, and he is really not liking the idea of taking out a student loan. This option means we will only be 2-4 hours away instead of 6 and we will have weekends free and it should only take him 2 years to complete. It is better for us as a couple but it means he will be giving up $. I'm just worried he will purposely fail the exam so the decision is out of his hands. I just can't take another disappointment. My heart is breaking from all the last times we tried to get together and failed, and I just can't take it anymore!

    (the other option is for me to just move, but I hate south florida and jobs in my field are hard to come by down there - I spent 2 years unemployed when I graduated fro college)

    I can't do anything but leave him alone and let him focus on doing well on the final. I really should not tell him how scared I am and just keep praying that he finally can accomplish his dream of going to engineering school! Any prayers or words of wisdom might help, I just feel like I will die if we have to stare down three more years of long distance with less visits in between!!!

    #2
    Closing the gap can be tough no matter the distance, I will pray. Keep me updated. I live in Minnesota and my boyfriend lives in Southern California and we are trying to figure out how to close the gap.

    Comment


      #3
      I don't have much to say other than that you could always look for a job where ever he ends up. Obviously keep your current one, but there's no saying that you couldn't at least do a search in case you find something. It depends how much you actually hate it there, but I would rather be in a place that I hate than away from my SO and it doesn't sound like you two are able to close the distance from his side in the near future.

      Comment


        #4
        Moving back home is an option, but there is a lot I would be sacrificing by doing that. Main thing is we would not be able to live together at all. My family is very strict catholic and they'd probably want me to move in with my sister so they can keep tabs on me, even though I'm almost 30 years old. There would be a lot of us sneaking to be together, and I pretty tired of doing that. My mother is super controlling even though she claims not to be. She is upset when I don't cut my hair the way she thinks it should be, so being in the same town again will be tough. Then there is the matter of jobs. I went unemployed for years down there and had to move away to even find work. The two places I freelanced in were horrible. There was way too much stress, I was being sexually harassed, and I went I to such a deep dark pit mentally I started contemplating suicide. Not to mention the cost of living down there is so much more expensive, and the heat down there is horrible. I am physically & mentally healthiest with cooler weather that I like to excercise in. There is also a larger group of people in this area who do the outdoor things I enjoy here too. Moving back home for my SO would be great, but I'm having trouble thinking about going back there without thinking of all of these bad past experiences. I know i am probably projecting what the past was like onto my future, and much of that all happened before I started dating my SO, but I'm afraid of moving back there. I'm afraid I will loose the strides I have made in my life and that I will revert back to the weaker person that I was.

        Comment


          #5
          That's fair. Everyone has their own issues. I hope that everything works out for you!

          Comment


            #6
            It's a tough situation. All of us in LDR's are. My SO is over 15 hours away. There are many here who have SO's in other countries that are lucky if they see them once a year and have Visa issues to deal with, etc before being able to close this distance. This isn't a "who has it worse" but just to let you know that there are lots of different variables.

            It comes down to what you want. Are you willing to wait 3 or more years? Can you survive the 6 hours apart and seeing each other less? If you are willing and you can, then it comes down to focusing on getting to where you want to be and looking at the positives. If you can't, than you need to decide if it's time to move on.
            To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

            ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you. Sorry to rant on and on to you like that. I appreciate your coments though. I should still keep it as a possible option no matter how hard things are down there. Thanks!

              Comment

              Working...
              X